


Children of the Revolution

by bewareoftrips



Series: How We Got Here [2]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Abuse, F/M, Gen, Parties, Riverdale parents, Riverparents, Teen Pregnancy, high school fic, hints of eating disorders, parentdale, teen drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2018-12-19 04:44:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 42,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11890287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bewareoftrips/pseuds/bewareoftrips
Summary: Senior year. College prep. Falling in love. Music. Beat up cars. Dates at Pops.And all those things that aren't as pleasant.The Riverparents story you didn't know you needed. Every chapter taking on a new character.(Don't need to read part 1. Either works as a stand alone piece.)





	1. Dreams - August 1992

**Author's Note:**

> So I am obsessed with all the parents in Riverdale and ever so disappointed to not get nearly enough fics about them. I've had this idea in my head for some time and finally just have to get it out. Planning on following senior year with every chapter taking on a new character.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer ends, senior year begins. Mary rethinks (or maybe just thinks) what her romance with Fred really means.

_Oh my life is changing every day, in every possible way_ – “Dreams” The Cranberries

 

She liked making out with him, but she couldn’t tell him that.

She liked the way he wasn’t too forceful, didn’t ask for too much. She liked how he didn’t accept her invitations to come over and “watch TV or maybe play some Super Nintendo” as a prelude to sex. He just smiled and asked if her brothers got any new games.

She liked how he didn’t pounce on her the second she closed the basement door, or how he didn’t crack a smile when she locked it behind them. She liked that he waited respectfully, a decent 20 minutes or so into whatever they’d thrown into the VCR, until he made a move. Sometimes it was an arm over her shoulders, forcing her to scooch further into him. Sometimes it was a hand on her knee, or a single finger turning her head in his direction.

And every time, without fail, Mary Taylor melted into Fred Andrews and couldn’t pull herself away.

It started innocently enough. They both had off from their respective summer jobs (hers at the Riverdale Public Library and his at Ace Bowling Alley) on Thursdays. Fred would come pedaling up her near empty road (“Oh, the Taylors? They live in that creepy colonial pushed right into Evergreen Forest.”) on his rusty bike, always swearing that by next week he’d have the van up and running. Always a smile to her parents as they left for work, and some rough housing with her little brothers in the yard.

And then the basement.

The finished basement with the bolt lock on the door. Half the reason her parents had chosen that house when they moved to Riverdale five years ago had been that basement. Perfect place to toss a TV and ensure their children had a place ‘to be kids’ without ruining the good furniture upstairs. And maybe, if they had a misbehaved daughter, a place to sneak boys into.

Good thing the Taylor’s didn’t have a misbehaved daughter. Instead, they had Mary.

Mary Taylor. Student council vice president. First in line to be valedictorian. And a River Vixen to boot. (Although she was sure her cheerleading status was more due to her height rather than actual talent. Someone had to hold up that pyramid after all.)

Mary Taylor didn’t sneak boys into her basement. She paraded them in front of her family. Had them enjoy home cooked meals. Hand led them to the basement once a week to merely make out a bit, perhaps get to second base. And yes, once or twice to third. But never all the way. Virginity was sacred and something saved for a boyfriend.

Fred Andrews was many things. Football player, bowling alley attendant, amateur rock star, all around good guy.

He was not, however, Mary’s boyfriend.

That was the single reason Mary had been so on edge this summer. So stressed, despite her weekly meetings with Fred. Her family chalked it up to senior year jitters, worrying about college. Mary chalked it up to Hermione Nichols’ return to Riverdale.

* * *

 

Three loud thumps and a door handle wiggling came from up the stairs.

“Mary! Phone!” came the voice of her youngest brother, Ian. Mary reluctantly pulled her lips away from Fred.

“Who is it?” she yelled back. Fred winced at her voice; she was perched on his lap after all. She smiled and pulled herself off him, making her way to the bottom of the basement stairs. She pulled her glasses, which were on top her head, down to her nose.

“Why’s the door locked?” Ian called down.

“Why do you think, stupid?” came the snickering voice of her other brother, Brandon.

“Who’s on the phone?” Mary called back up, stepping onto the first stair. School started again next week and the last thing Mary wanted to do was waste a second of her last Thursday with Fred.

“It’s the hot one,” Ian called. He was 12 and had gotten into a bad habit of referring to all girls as ‘the hot one.’

“Who?”

“The blonde one with no tits,” Brandon said. 14 and about to start his freshman year, Mary still had to knock out of his head that he couldn’t talk to girls like that. “You know, the mean one.”

Mary rolled her eyes and turned to Fred. She mouth ‘Alice’ and he rolled his eyes.

“Come back,” he whined. “Just call her later.”

“It could be about work.”

Fred let out a laugh. “Is there some library emergency only you can solve?”

“I’ll just be a second, I swear.” She thundered up the stairs and unlocked the door. Brandon had the cordless phone up to his ear.

“It’s a compliment, really,” he was saying into the receiver, smirk on his face. “Not all guys like tits.”

Mary snatched the phone from him and wacked his arm. “Scram,” she mouthed at them, giving Ian a look so he wouldn’t start too. She locked the door behind her and sat on the top step, smiling down at Fred.

“Yeah, Alice?”

“Tell that brother of yours if he wants to live to see his balls drop, he’d best watch his mouth.”

"Sorry. He thinks starting high school gives him the right to be vulgar.”

“He’s starting high school? Isn’t he like ten?”

“The little one is twelve, the other one is –”

“Listen, Mary.” Alice’s voice dropped. “I need a favor.”

Mary shifted on the stairs, lip upturning. She should have known.

“What?”

“I need you to cover my shift today. I’m sick.”

Mary sighed and got up. She made her way back to the worn couch and plopped down next to Fred. He slung his arm around her and she moved the phone to her right ear so he could listen in.

“You said you were sick yesterday and you turned out fine.”

“Yeah, but now it’s happening again. I feel fine one moment and then I’m throwing up out of nowhere.” Her voice came out as a whine. Mary’s eyes darted over to Fred.

"I’m busy today, Alice. I have plans.”

A beat. “Such as?”

“Such as… plans. I can’t do it. Sorry.”

“Mary, I’ve covered your shifts so many times.”

“Once. You did it once.”

"Which is still once more than you –” A clang came from the other line. Mary pulled the phone away from their ears.

“Alice?” she asked tenderly. She placed the phone up to her ear and listened, just able to make out the distant, yet distinct, sound of vomiting.

“She’s playing you,” Fred said simply. “Say no.”

“But I can hear –”

“May I?” He wrapped his hand over hers and gently took the phone. He held it up to his ear. “She’s just making gagging noises and pouring something into the toilet. Oldest trick in the book. Hell, I probably taught her that.”

“Give it back. I don’t want her to know you’re here.”

“Why?” Fred held the phone just out of her reach, lips curving into a grin. “Embarrassed to be seen with me?”

Mary bit her lip. “Very embarrassed to be with someone who thinks someone can be seen over the phone. Hand it over. You know how she is.”

“I’ve dealt with Alice Smith’s big mouth since kindergarten. I think I’ll survive.”

“ _Fred_?” came from the phone.

“Shit.” Mary leaned over Fred and grabbed the phone, conveniently falling right into Fred’s lap. She already felt the heat rising to her face and was glad he couldn’t get a look at her. “Hey. Alice. Yeah, that sounded gross.”

“Is _Fred_ there?”

“Is Fred… what? Where?”

“Mary Taylor, is Fred fucking Andrews in your house right now?”

“Alice, come on.”

“ _Mary_.”

“Geez, what’s it to you?”

“Is he there alone?”

“My brothers are here.”

“Oh my God, Mary. Are you crazy? I know you’re not sleeping with Fred.”

Mary finally pulled herself off Fred’s lap and sat up straight. She pursed her lips and avoided looking at Fred. “Of course not. We were just watching a movie.”

“Likely story. What are you playing at?”

“What… what’re you playing at, Alice? You’re not even sick.”

“I am getting sicker by the moment, thinking of you with Fred.”

“This is none of your business.”

“Well I’m making it my business. You told me nothing was going on between you two.”

“Nothing is going on between us.”

Alice sighed. “I’m trying to protect you. I told you to stay away from him.”

“You’re going to be late for work.”

Alice’s voice came out as a whimper. “Come on, Mary. I’ll owe you one. I really do feel like shit.”

“Aren’t you lactose intolerant? Maybe you ate something with dairy and you didn’t realize.”

Fred snatched the phone from Mary’s hand. “Feel better, Al. Have fun at work.” He clicked the button and ended the call. “Sorry. That conversation was going nowhere fast. You were about ten seconds away from offering to bring her crackers and ginger ale.”

Mary gulped. “She’ll call back.”

“So don’t answer.”

“What if she’s actually sick?”

Fred grabbed her hand and pulled her back onto his lap. “Then I guess she’ll have to be careful not to puke on all those Judy Blume books she loves.”

“But she’s going –” He pressed his lips into hers, cutting her off. She tried to pull away and voice her thoughts. _Alice has had her suspicions all summer, but now she knows for certain. What if she blabs?_

What if what if what if.

But she didn’t want to pull away. Mary Taylor. Mousy Mary. The Virgin Mary. Mary Mary, quite contrary. Mary didn’t get to do anything fun. Mary didn’t get to have cool, sexy boyfriends. Mary didn’t get to skip out on work to get up to whatever debauchery other girls her age where getting up to.

The phone rang. Mary tossed it to the recliner across the room without breaking their kiss. She felt Fred’s mouth curve in a smile.

She was going to have her day at last.

* * *

“ _Fred_?” Alice hissed, digging her nails into Mary’s arm. Mary tried pulling her arm away but Alice’s claws were already dug in. “Are you _fucking crazy_? You told me nothing was going on.”

Mary glanced over her shoulder, only able to make out the silhouettes of people standing around the fire. School started in two days and the senior class always held a huge bonfire near Sweetwater River to celebrate the end of summer. “There is nothing going on.”

“Bull. Shit.” Alice applied a little more pressure with her nails before finally letting go. Mary resisted the urge to rub the sore spot. Growing up with two brothers, she was used to rough housing and knowing you’re not supposed to let on when you’re hurt.

Alice was an only child, but she was Southside. She knew exactly how to make things hurt; if not with her nails, then with her tongue.

“Fred is no good for you. He’s too dumb.”

“Fred is not _dumb_. He’s… adventurous.”

“Well I once watched Mr. Adventurous ride his bicycle off a dock into Sweetwater River because someone bet him like $5.”

“He’s charming.”

“In eighth grade he drank an entire gallon of expired milk just because FP dared him too. He threw up for 20 minutes straight.”

“Why do you care?”

Alice pulled a face, taken back by the question. “Why wouldn’t I care?”

“Like, you’ve known Fred since you were kids. You and I are… whatever. Why can’t you just let it be?”

“We’re not friends?”

Mary rolled her eyes. “Sorry, yeah. We’re friends. So you’re friends with me, friends with Fred. Just then, you know, be supportive.”

“Supportive?” Alice rolled the word on her tongue as if it were foreign. “Yeah, supportive. I can be supportive. Come on.”

She grabbed Mary’s arm again, sans nails, and pulled her through the crowd of their peers, Alice’s Doc Martens splattering mud over Mary’s Converses. Mary may have had a few inches and pounds on her (Alice couldn’t weigh 100 pounds soak and wet), but for what she lacked in size, she made up for in strength. They stopped a few feet from a keg, where none other than Hermione Nichols was leaning against a tree, red cup in hand, telling an animated story to a group of girls. Mary turned her head away, hoping Hermione wouldn’t notice her, but Alice gave her a right shove into the group, nearly knocking over Sierra Bradley.

“Watch it, Mary!”

“Mary!” Hermione exclaimed. “I missed you!” Her words were slightly slurred, no surprise due to her position near the keg. She pushed through the small crowd of girls with a grace Mary could never hope to achieve (especially after drinking ) and wrapped her in a hug. Alice may have been all skin and bones, but Hermione was all curves. Curvy, skinny, petite. Mary felt like a clumsy giant next to either of them.

She hugged Hermione back carefully. “How were the Hamptons?”

“Amazing.” Hermione stretched out the word, half for dramatic effect, half a side effect of the beer. “I have the best stories.”

“She was just telling us about the guy she met,” Sierra chimed in. “Don’t leave us hanging.”

“Oh, did you meet a guy?” Alice asked. She stood just behind the group, arms folded over her chest, smirk on her face. “I call bullshit if you say he looked like Patrick Swayze and taught you how to dance.”

Hermione rolled her eyes and pulled Mary closer so they could link arms. She always got clingy when she was drinking. Mary focused her eyes down on Hermione’s perfectly white Nikes that made her own sneakers look ancient.

“For your information, he looked more like Christian Slater and he taught me how to do a lot more than dance.”

That earned a burst a giggles from the rest of the crowd, but Mary just felt her mouth go dry.

“How scandalous,” Alice said with false enthusiasm. She was glad Hermione was too tipsy to pick up on the sarcasm. Last thing she wanted was to break up a fight between them. “But what about poor Fred?”

Hermione paused her cup an inch from her mouth. “Poor Fred?”

“Ummhmm. I mean, aren’t you two like an item now? After your very public display of affection at your last party? You know, the one right when school let out?”

“Oh, you mean that party where I caught a certain couple who shall remain nameless in a compromising position in my own bedroom?”

Alice let out a laugh, shame absent from her face. The entire school already had already heard that story by the end of that night. “Yeah, that party.”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Look, I knew I was going away all summer. Fred knew I was going away all summer. What happened at that party was merely,” she waved her free arm and half her beer spilled into the dirt, “what could be. I told Fred we would pause whatever we had until I came back.”

“So summer rendezvous with the dance instructor –”

“He was not a dance instructor.” Hermione sipped her beer and glanced in the cup, seemingly surprised it was nearly empty. “He was a swim coach.” This earned another round of giggles from the crowd.

Mary hated it, this thing they did. Alice and Hermione were both pretty, popular. Both domineering and headstrong. They drowned out the rest of the world when they were in each other’s presence.

Shame. Because if the two took a single minute to be nice to one another, they could probably be best friends.

“Swim coach, whatever. Your life is a Harlequin romance waiting to happen. So Fred was just okay with you spending your whole summer with some other guy?”

“Oh please. It’s not like Freddy is Mr. Innocent. I told him to have fun this summer too, and I’m sure he did.” Hermione nudged Mary in the side and smiled up at her. “Right Mare?” Mary’s face flushed, undetectable under the darkness of night, as Hermione turned her attention back to Alice. “So what’d you do this summer, Pretty Woman?”

* * *

“You have a weakness for pretty people, Mary,” her mother had first told her when she was in 7th grade. “It’s a curse really.”

Hermione Nichols had just left their house. Mary had just finished her first week at Riverdale Junior High and Hermione had been her assigned buddy for the week.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Her mother looked up from the box she was looking through, trying to find a potato peeler. They had moved into their new home the past weekend and had hardly unpacked yet.

“It just means that… sometimes we like being around certain people because of the aura that surrounds them. They make us feel good about ourselves. But that doesn’t always mean their good people. I don’t like the way that girl talked to you. Too bossy. Now take a peek though those boxes in the corner.”

Mary dragged her feet on the ground, earning a click of the teeth from her mother. The boxes were clearly labeled Linens, but Mary started opening them anyway.

“I like Hermione, Mom. She’s been really great to me this week. She’s introduced me to everyone, she lets me sit with her at lunch…”

“I’m sorry. She _lets you_ sit with her?”

“She’s really popular. A lot of people would love to sit with her.”

“Oh Mary,” her mom sighed, not bothering to look up this time. “You’ll learn.”

Mary scowled and dug through old bedsheets, knowing fighting with her mom, or finding a potato peeler in this box, were in vain.

To prove her mother wrong, she invited Alice Smith over a few weeks later to work on their science project together. Alice wore torn up jeans and an oversized Van Halen t-shirt knotted up in the front. Mary hadn’t lived in town long enough to differentiate what it really meant to be Southside, but Hermione had hissed in her ear enough that Alice was from “the wrong side of the tracks” and to not get too friendly with her.

Her mother gave scruffy little Alice a disapproving smile as they sat at the kitchen table making a solar system out of clay.

“There’s a middle ground, you know,” her mother said after Alice’s father picked her up in a beat up truck. “Being from the bad part of town doesn’t always humble people.”

“So you don’t like Alice either?”

Her mother clicked her teeth. “Sweetheart, you’re such a strong, smart, independent girl. You should be bossing those girls around. Not the other way.”

“So what’s wrong with Alice?”

“Well she’s not very well kept, now is she?”

* * *

 

For her 14th birthday, the beginning of freshman year, she was allowed to have a boy/girl party in her basement. No more than fifteen people and her parents would be checking in frequently. Fred Andrews said he’d help her make her the ultimate playlist (“Hal has a huge cassette collection, he’ll let you borrow whatever you want.”) so she invited him over the Thursday before her party. They sat on the back porch, the days still warm in early September, with a spiral notebook between them.               

Fred was unequivocally attractive, but he had yet to master the art of a hair brushing or sock matching. He always had an air about him like he had woken up too late for school and just thrown on whatever clothes were closest to his bed. Every time his hand brushed hers as he excitedly thought of a new song, she felt her stomach drop, like she was riding down the peak of a rollercoaster.

She had never liked rollercoasters until now.

“So no Metallica?” she asked, pointing her pen as his shirt.

"Huh?” Fred pulled his shirt away from his body and seemed genuinely surprised at what he was wearing. “Oh man, I think this is FP’s shirt. He slept over last weekend and must have left it.”

Mary let out a giggle that sounded unnatural coming out of her mouth. Fred didn’t seem to notice. “Silly, you’ve been wearing it all day.”

“Uh, guys don’t pay attention to stuff like clothes.”

She was sure most guys could at least tell you what shirt they had been wearing the entire day. Alice often called Fred a “dumb little puppy,” and while Mary was sure no one appreciated the dumb comment, she couldn’t deny that he really was puppy like. On their walk to her house after school, as he pushed his bike between the two of them, she had watched him trip over his own feet no less than four times. He had been talking about trying out for JV football since the beginning of the year, but she wondered how he’d possibly make the cut when he could hardly walk in a straight line.

When her parents came home from work, Fred greeted them with a grin and shook both their hands excitedly. She watched as he rode down their driveway on his bike, trying to hide the smile just peeking out of her lips. Her mother placed a hand on Mary’s shoulder and said, “There you go, sweetheart. That’s a happy medium.”

She turned on her mother quicker than she intended. “Fred’s a boy, Mom.”

“But he seems like he’d be a good friend. You’re allowed to have boys as friends.”

“And I’m allowed to have girls as friends too. Even if you don’t like them.”

Her mom gave her a lopsided smile. “Of course you are.”

* * *

 

 Mary excused herself from the girls without responding to Hermione’s comment.

_She knows. She knows, she knows, she knows._

“Mary, wait up!” she heard Alice call from behind her. Mary kept up her pace. She didn’t need to see the look of elation on the blonde girl’s face. She needed to go home. “Mary! I know you can hear me!”

“What?” Mary stopped in her tracks and turned on the girl. Blinking in surprise, Alice took a step back. “You knew, didn’t you? But instead of just saying something, you had to play this game and let me look like an idiot.”

“I _let you_?” Alice exclaimed, her voice rising. “I told you to stay away from Fred.”

Mary sighed. A few people were already looking at them. “You could have just told me. Told me they weren’t together.”

"What good would that have done? Would it have stopped you?”

“I… I need to go.”

Mary turned on her heel as Alice yelled, loud enough for the whole senior class to hear, “Grow some balls, Mary! Stand up for yourself for once!”

A series of snickers and giggles followed her. She knew they weren’t laughing at her, per say. Alice was crass, unafraid to speak her mind, and people loved her for it. Mary just wished she had a little more tact.

She knew she could go confront Fred now, ask him why he never told her he was a free man, so to speak. They could have spent their summer sharing milkshakes at Pops and holding hands in the Bijou. Instead, they met in a locked basement where no one would ever see them together. Sure, they’d hung out a few times, but always in groups, FP or someone of the like tailing them. But confronting Fred now, when she was angry and vulnerable and just a little light headed from the single beer she’d drank too fast before Alice caught her, would get her nowhere. She’d just walk home and call him tomorrow. Or just see him in school on Monday.

A hand reached out and grabbed her arm, spinning her around and pulling her into one-armed hug. “Where are you running off to, Strawberry Shortcake? The night is young.”

Mary shoved FP Jones off of her, hardly in the mood for his antics. He raised his hands in self-defense, one holding a beer, the other a cigarette.

“I’m just not in a party mood tonight.”

He waved his finger at her, leaving a trail of smoke near her face. “Social obligation. You are a cheerleader after all.”

“Who cares? And why are you smoking? Cigarettes are bad for you.”

“But if I don’t smoke while I’m drinking, I’ll just have to put another beer in my free hand. You trying to turn me into a drunk like your boy Freddy over there?”

He pointed to her left, where, sure enough, Fred was holding a red cup in either hand, taking turns sipping from either. She was sure FP had made the same joke to him earlier and Fred was merely going along with the gag.

“Fred is not my boy, thanks.”

FP sipped his beer, not breaking eye contract with her. “Why did Alice just tell you to grow some balls?”

“Does Alice ever have a reason to do anything? Now if you don’t mind, I need to get home.”

“Hey.” FP stomped out his cigarette and put his now free hand on Mary’s shoulder. “What’s happening? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Mary said, knowing her voice was coming out more aggressive than she intended. FP raised an eyebrow and squeezed her shoulder. “Fred. Fred is what’s wrong.”

“There’s tons wrong with Fred. You have to be more specific.”

Mary pursed her lips, holding in a grin. She both hated and loved the fact that FP could always make her laugh. “Hermione and him agreed to have a break this summer. But I’m not… not good enough to be seen in public with or something? And you probably know all this, right?”

FP reached into his pocket and pulled out his back of cigarettes, breaking his gaze. “I might have known.”

“I know your loyalties are always going to fall to Fred before me –”

“That is not true.”

“– but you could have saved me a little face if you just told me –”

“ _Mary_.” FP flicked his lighter and inhaled. “You think I didn’t talk to him? You think I didn’t say something? Fred doesn’t need some stuck up, wannabe rich girl like Hermione. She’s going to bleed him dry and leave him hanging. I was hoping you’d be a… a good influence. He’d see what a good thing he has with you and…” He rolled his hand suggestively, trailing more smoke in her face.

“And what? Drop Hermione? News flash. Guys like Fred don’t get bored of girls like her. Guys like Fred keep girls like me on the backburner until they find something better.”

“Fred is not a bad guy. You know that.”

“He’s your best friend, you need to say that.”

“Fred is wayward and misled. He’s kind of an idiot, in case you never noticed.”

“Harsh dude. I’m right here.”    

Mary jumped at the voice behind her. Fred grinned at her and held out one of his cups. “Beer? I might have taken a few sips but it’s still mostly full.”

_One deep inhale, one deep exhale._

“No thank you, Fred,” Mary replied, just able to control her voice. She stared at the cup but made no reach for it. “I need to get going.”

He nudged the cup towards her and she shook her head. “Going where? Alice just told me you were looking for me.”

“Trust me, I wasn’t.” She allowed her eyes to dart over to where Fred was standing a few minutes ago. She could just make out Alice’s long, wavy hair in the distance.

Fred finally withdrew his extra beer and allowed his eyes to wander upwards. “Is this about Hermione?”

 _One deep inhale, one deep exhale_.

“This isn’t the time or place to talk.”

“You want to come back to the van? We could talk there.”

“We got the van up and running this morning, Mare,” FP chimed in. While grateful for his attempt to alleviate the tension, Mary wasn’t having it. “Isn’t that awesome?”

“Perhaps,” Mary said slowly, “when you and Hermione make your relationship official again, you can go christen your van with her.” She patted Fred on the shoulder. “Not with me.”

“Mary.” Fred’s voice came out low. “Come on. We had such a great summer. While spoil it?”

Mary’s eyes narrowed. “Spoil it? I went my whole summer thinking we were doing something wrong. That I was doing something wrong. I thought you had a girlfriend and I was… we were doing… whatever. But no. It turns out we could have been out, open. But you didn’t want that. You only wanted me around when you were bored.”

“Mary, you know none of that’s true.” He made a move to put his arm around her, cup still in hand, but she was too fast and stepped back. He dropped the cup in the dirt. “Let’s just go somewhere private and –”

“Private huh? So once again, no one will see us together? Here’s what we can talk about. If I put out this summer, would it have been the same? Or are you disappointed you invested so much time in me and didn’t go all the way?”

Fred bit his lip. “You’re making me feel like a real asshole, Mary.” FP snorted into his cup at Fred’s statement. “Back me up, dude.”

“Back you up?” FP lowered his cup and grinned. “I love you, man. But you sound do sound like an asshole right now.”

“Oh, come on. Don’t act like you –”

Mary took the distraction and walked into the woods, knowing if she walked quick enough it’d only take her fifteen minutes to get home. 

* * *

“Alice feels really shitty, for what it’s worth,” Hal Cooper assured her on the first day of school. He caught up with her as they walked out of their student council meeting. “She wishes she had just told you.”

“Right,” Mary nodded, knowing Alice didn’t have a sympathetic bone in her body. “So why didn’t you tell me?”

Hal’s mouth opened and closed before answering. “I didn’t think it was my place.”

“Of course. It wasn’t your place. Or Alice’s. Or anyone’s, right? But now the whole school knows I spent my summer as Fred’s side girl and I just have to live with it.”

“Come on, Mary,” Hal dropped his voice as Sierra, the student council president, walked past them. “No one thinks any less of you.”

 _"I_ think less of me.”

“Oh please,” Alice slid up beside Hal and he slid his arm around her waist. Mary gulped at the action, knowing it was silly to get jealous of a simple display of affection between another couple. “You need to rid yourself of all that shame. It’s unhealthy.”

“What’s unhealthy?” a familiar voice came from behind. Mary suppressed a groan. “Your relationship? You know it’s totally normal to have actual friends outside of each other, right?”

Alice’s nostrils flared. “Thanks for the tip, Hermione, but we have plenty of friends. In fact, we’re talking to one right now. And if you want to get on the subject of unhealthy, I’m sure binging and purging those two packs of Twinkies you had for lunch falls under the category too.”

Hermione bounced up beside Mary, Fred awkwardly following in her trail. Fred’s varsity jacket was thrown over Hermione’s shoulders, even though the August weather was well into the 80s still.

"Speak for yourself,” Hermione proclaimed, hands on hips. “I heard you puking in the girls room before third period.”

“I’ve been sick.”

“Likely story.”

"Please, I wish I could gain weight like you –”

Mary felt a soft tug on her vest. Fred’s head jutted to the empty classroom she’d just left. She followed him in, Hal seeming the only one of the crowd who noticed them go.

Fred leaned against a desk and looked her in the eyes. “I’m sorry, Mary. I am so, so sorry for hurting you.”

Mary nodded, but kept her mouth shut.

“I honestly didn’t go over your house every week with any intentions. I didn’t think anything would happen between us. And I kept telling myself to not let it happen again, but every fucking week it would. I do like you, Mary. I like being around you, I like how easy everything is with you.”

“But?”

“But I’m with Hermione. And as confusing as it is, I like her too.”

“Hermione and I are such different people.”

“And that’s what makes it so confusing. I like you both for totally different reasons.”

“You like her because of the sex?”

Fred’s eyes widened as her bluntness. “No. And like you asked me the other day, you putting out or whatever would have had no effect on what happened between us. I liked what we had, but I kind of thought we both just wanted to have some fun.”

“I did. I did want to have some fun. And I actually don’t regret what happened.”

He nodded. “Me neither. And I’m sorry people know. I swear, I didn’t say anything to Hermione. She just _knew_. I just want us to be friends again.”

“I want that too, Fred.”

“Come on. Let’s get back out there before Hal has to stop a cat fight between those two.”

Fred’s hand fell over Mary’s as she turned the door handle. “Hey. If things don’t work out between Hermione and I…” He trailed off, leaving the statement open. Mary burst into laughter and placed her hand gently on Fred’s cheek.

"Freddy, do you think I’m so pathetic that I’d just wait around for Hermione to dump you? Oh please.”

She walked out into the hallway, triumph written all over her face. When she peeked at Fred as he shut the door behind them, his expression was somewhere between bemused and impressed.

“I’m just saying, you should totally try out for the River Vixens this afternoon,” Hermione was saying. Hal’s hands had migrated to either of Alice’s shoulders and he looked like he was preparing to pull her back at any moment. “It’s going to be mostly freshman and sophomores, but now that Penny’s graduated, you may actually stand a chance. I hear the new cheer captain is very forgiving.”

Alice scowled. “You’re the new cheer captain.”

"So I am.” Hermione smirked and flipped her hair behind her shoulders. “So you’ll be there?”

"You couldn’t pay me to be a River Vixen. Besides, you know I’m on varsity track.”

Hermione snorted. “Track? Who gives a shit about track?”

“Well, we’ll see who’s laughing when I get a scholarship and you’re stuck working at your dad’s store the rest of your life.”

"Hey,” Mary interrupted. Both girls jumped, seemingly forgetting she was there. “Don’t we need to set up the gym for tryouts?”

Hermione looked her up and down and nodded. “Of course. Follow me, fellow Vixen.” She turned back to Alice and Hal. “Sorry to steal your only friend from you two, but we have important matters to attend to. Come on, Fred. You can escort us.” She linked her arm through Fred’s and nodded towards Mary. He linked his other arm through hers. (“Ugh, and she has the nerve to call us unhealthy?” Alice muttered in the distance.)

Mary still wasn’t sure exactly what she wanted, but at least senior year was bound to be interesting.


	2. Second Hand News - October 1992

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Senior homecoming. Alice comes clean to Hal about her secret. Things spiral out of control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's read. In so many fandoms I join, I find something super niche that i fall in love with and can't find much on. I can only hope I'm filling a Riverdale parent shaped hole in someone else!

_I know you're hoping to find_ _, Someone who's gonna give you piece of mind, When times go bad, When times go rough –_ “Second Hand News” Fleetwood Mac

               

                It was that thing she loved to do. How she held her power over him. The way she liked to hold on to something as long as she could without breaking their rule.

                “No more secrets,” she had told him sophomore year. They sat on the bleachers after school one day and she had unloaded about her dad. Their relationship was still new back then. Fresh. Exciting. He kissed her quickly and watched the way her face, even though tear streaked cheeks, scrunched up with delight. If he could get her to make that face every day, he’d die a happy man. Or a happy fifteen-year-old anyway.

                “No secrets,” he agreed. And that was that, he had thought. Everyone had their problems, some greater than others, but if they could just be together – be truly and honestly open with one another – nothing else seemed to matter.

                Things were that simple when you were fifteen. They felt a lot different when you were on the cusp of eighteen and your girlfriend had hardly spoken to you for the last month.

 

                “You look great in that color,” Hal tried before he opened his car door. He had just parked his Camaro in the student parking lot. Besides a soft noise that escaped Alice’s throat, she made no sign that she was listening. “I mean you always look great, but that blue really suits you.”

                He walked around the car and opened the door for her. She seemed genuinely surprised when the door opened, but took his hand and let him take her out of the car anyway. He kept her hand in his as he led her through the nearly empty parking lot, Mary’s Beetle the only other car in sight. Mary, still clad in jeans and a sweater, bounced out of the school as the couple approached.

                “You’re late,” she said breathlessly. “Sierra left an hour ago and she said I couldn’t leave the gym unattended. Decorations are done, snacks are out, we just need to set up the punch bowls but we’ll do that when I get back. FP and Fred were supposed to drop off their equipment like two hours ago and I tried calling both their houses and no one knows where they are so we may have no live music tonight and just have to stick to the tapes we made.” She paused to take a breath. “You guys got it from here? I need to get home and change.”

                “I think we can handle watching an empty building,” Hal offered with a smile.

                “Awesome, see you guys in a bit,” Mary said exciting as she ran the rest of the way to her car. “Oh, and good luck! You guys are a shoo-in for king and queen. Sierra and I realized this morning that Fred never handed in his application and you know everyone votes for couples.”

                Hal laughed and squeezed Alice’s hand, watching Mary speed out of the parking lot. They walked slowly into the school. “You hear that? We’re a shoo-in.” Alice’s eyes remained on the ground.

                The gym was decked out in blue and yellow streamers and Hal felt a pang of guilt that he didn’t hang around today to help his fellow student council members decorate. (“Don’t worry about it,” Sierra had assured him. “You have a terrible eye for his stuff. You’ll just get in our way.”)

                Alice raised her head and let out a sigh. She took in the gym slowly. “Your mom didn’t think so,” she said softly.

                “What?”

                “You said I look good in this color,” Alice said, her voice still several octaves lower than normal. She almost sounded like a child. “Your mom said if I really needed to wear blue, I should stay away from royal. I look better in powder or baby.” Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence. She bit her lip and pulled her hand away from Hal.

                “Alice, wait!”

                She ran to the stage and took off up the five steps leading to the backstage area, hidden by the curtains from the rest of the auditorium. Alice’s first response to anything bad was to take refuge in an already empty room.

                He found her sunk into the floor in the nearly empty area backstage, hugging her knees with her face hidden. Hal flicked on the lights and she pulled herself tighter into a ball. He crouched down next to her.

                “What’s going on with you?” he asked softly. He put his hand on her shoulder and felt her tense up. “You’ve been like this for weeks.”

                She looked up at him, mascara already running down her face. “I just need a minute alone. Please?”

                “No.” He gave her shoulder a squeeze and pulled her closer so he could wrap his arms around her. “Just talk to me, Alice. I can’t stand seeing you like this. No secrets, remember?”

                She bit her lip. “You’re going to freak if I tell you.”

                “I won’t.”

                “You can’t possibly know that. It’s… big.”

                Hal shifted uncomfortably. “Did your dad do something?” Alice’s eyes focused on the ground, but she shook her head. “Did you cheat on me?” She shook her head again. “Then what? It can’t be anything we can’t work out together.” He tucked a loose curl behind her ear.

                She finally met his eyes. Her mouth opened and closed before the words finally came out. “I’m pregnant.”

                He felt his entirely body stiffen for a moment. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat as he watched fresh tears stream down Alice’s face. He pulled her into his chest and let her cry, hoping she couldn’t feel how fast his heart was beating. After a few minutes, she pulled her face back and looked at him.

                “Are you mad?” she asked.

                “At myself maybe. I’m kind of in shock.”

                Alice nodded. “Me too. And I’ve had a lot more time to process it.”

                “A lot more… Alice, how long have you known?”

                She gulped. “A few weeks, but I had my suspicions since summer.”

                “Summer?” he took her shoulders turned her body so their faces were inches apart. “Since summer and you didn’t say anything? How… how far along are you?”

                “I went to the doctor last week,” she started.

                “You went to the doctor already?”

                “The clinic in Greendale. And well, she said I was fifteen weeks, so I guess I’m sixteen weeks now.”

                “Sixteen… oh, Alice.” Hal let go of her shoulders and he let his head fall back against the wall. He closed his eyes. “That’s like… four months. When?”

                “If I had to guess, I’d say it was that party the end of junior year. Hermione’s house.”

                “No, when were you going to tell me?”

                “I was waiting until I had a plan. Until I knew what we should do.”

                He opened his eyes and looked at her. “How could you keep this from me? We’re not supposed to have secrets between us, Alice. We could have been figuring this out together. _How_? How did this happen?”

                She pursed her lips, softness dropping from her voice. “I don’t think I need to explain to you how these things happen. Your dad should have had that talk with you long ago.”

                “But we’re always –”

                “Don’t you dare say we’re careful, Hal. We are _careless_.”

                He gulped again. “Things like this don’t happen to people like us.”

                “No, things like this don’t happen to people like you. This is exactly what happens to people like me. Shit, this is what people expect from me.”

                “Alice, don’t start with that.”

                She picked herself up off the floor and dusted off her dress. Hal followed suit. “It’s true though.” She started pacing back and forth. “God, your parents are going to have a field day. They’re going to tell you this is exactly what you get for messing around with some trashy girl from the wrong side of town.”

                “My parents would never… geez, Alice. My parents would never say that. And they are never going to ever find out about this.”

                Alice froze in place. “How’s that? We’re just going to hide their grandchild from them?”

                “Alice,” Hal said slowly, placing his hand gently on either of her shoulders, “you... _we_ can’t actually go through with this.”

                Her eyes widened. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

                “We’re seventeen. We’re still in high school. We have… we have so many plans. Graduation, college, leave Riverdale. How’s that all going to work out with a baby?”

                She tried to shrug his hands off her shoulders, but he kept them on. “So we do things a little out of order. Big deal.”

                “Out of… that’s the plan you were figuring out? Not how we can fix this, but how we can make this work?”

                “That’s your problem, Hal.” Her voice was turning venomous. “You want to fix everything. Things don’t always have a solution.”

                He shifted in place. “We can make you an appointment. You know, at the clinic in Greendale.”

                A clang came from out in the auditorium. Alice took advantage of the distraction and pulled herself out of his grip.

                “I know all about the clinic in Greendale.” Her voice was rising. “I had to go there alone just to find out I was pregnant.”

                “No, you chose to go there alone. If you just told me… We can call in the morning. Just make you an appointment.”

                “Just say what you mean, why don’t you?” she said.

                He stifled a groan. “You’re not thinking straight.”

                With one swift motion, her hand swept through the air and met his cheek. He closed his eyes and rubbed where she slapped him.

                “ _Say it_. You want me to have an abortion.”

                “I don’t _want_ you to have an abortion, Alice,” he said, still holding his cheek. “I just can’t see any other way.”

                She folder her arms across her chest and he realized how tiny she looked. He dare let his eyes wander around to her stomach where, sure enough, the concave that was usually his girlfriend’s abdomen, jutted out ever so slightly.

                The venom was gone from her voice again when she spoke. “What if I want this baby?”

                His mouth moved faster than his brain. “What if I don’t?”

                She was on him in an instant, her fists pounding into whatever piece of him she could reach. He was twice her size, could easily stop her, but he knew he deserved whatever she doled out. 

                “Asshole. I’ve. Given. You. Everything.” Each word she spat out was another hit. “My. Virginity. My. Secrets. You. Don’t. Deserve. Hey!”

                Hal opened his eyes when the hits stop. FP was there, arms wrapped around Alice from behind so she couldn’t move.

                “What the hell are you doing?” FP asked her. Alice squirmed under his grasp, trying to kick backwards at him.

                “Let her go,” Hal demanded, walking towards them. Alice kicked at him, her heel just missing his knee.

                “Say you’re going to stop,” FP hissed in her ear.

                “Let go of me!” she yelled.

                “Say you’ll stop.”

                She went slack in his arms and took a breath. “Let go. Please?”

                “You still in attack mode?”

                “Forsythe,” she hissed. He let go of her and she punched his arm. He didn’t show that he felt anything.

                “What the fuck is going on?” he asked, looking between the two. “You’re pregnant?”

                “Shut up,” Alice hissed again.

                “I’m here alone. You guys were so fucking loud though I nearly heard you from the parking lot.”

                Alice turned to Hal. “Like this could get any worse. Now the whole school will know before the end of the night.”

                “Hey,” FP said, “what kind of asshole do you think I am? You think I’m just going to blab to the whole school?”

                Alice bit her lip. “I need to fix my make up before people get here.” She turned to Hal. “This is something you _can_ fix.” She walked between the curtains and Hal could just make out the sound of her heels clicking as she crossed the gym floor.

                When he turned his attention back to FP, a playful smirk crossed the boy’s face. “You’ve done fucked up, Coop.” He looked Hal up and down, smile falling. “Relax. I am the least of your worries.”

 

 

                The rest of the night was a steady decline of horror.

                Alice returned from the bathroom minutes later, make up reapplied and hair freshly brushed, and spent the rest of the night dolefully walking beside him, back to the radio silence they had been on before tonight.

                The only welcome distraction was the entire school hearing a fight between Fred and Hermione (“You didn’t hand in that application on purpose because you didn’t _want me_ to be homecoming queen, did you?”) broadcast from backstage when someone accidently left a microphone on.

                When they were named homecoming king and queen, Alice forced a smile and pulled Hal onto the stage to receive their crowns.

                “Let’s just get this over with so we can leave,” she muttered under her breath.

                They did their duty. Danced to ‘Only You’ by Yazoo under the watchful eyes of their classmates. Alice with a fake smile plastered across her face, eyes hollow. Hal knew she would normally relish under the jealously of the other girls watching them together, but every movement she took tonight was robotic and cold.

                They walked next to each other to the car, Hal careful not to touch her, less he be on the receiving end of her fists again. He opened the passenger side door and she slid in wordlessly.

                “Hey!” a voice yelled out as Hal walked around the car to the driver’s side. Hermione was running towards them, heels in hand. Alice rolled down her window.

                “What do you want?” Hal was almost glad to hear Alice respond in her normal voice. The normal snippy voice she reserved for Hermione at least. Hermione rested her arms on the window sill so the two girl’s faces were level.

                “I just wanted to congratulate you guys. Must be nice to know you only won because Fred is a moron.”

                “Truer words have never been spoken.”

                “I hope you don’t think you have a chance at prom queen.”

                Alice pulled the crown out of her hair and shoved it out the car window. Hermione had to jump back so she wouldn’t get hit in the face with it.

                “Take it.”

                Hermione scowled. “I don’t want your stupid crown. I’ll get my own.”

                Alice tossed it out the window and Hal heard the cheap metal clatter against the asphalt. “Suit yourself. Hal, get in the car.”

                “Alice…”

                “ _Hal_.”

                He got into the car and pulled out of the spot. Alice turned around and watched Hermione as they drove away.

                “Of course she picked it up,” she sighed. Hal slid his hand onto her knee. She tensed and sat up straight.

                “Take me home.”

                “Let’s go somewhere and talk.” Alice shook her head. “We need to figure this out.”

                “Bring me home.”

                “Let’s go to my house at least.”

                “So we can tell your parents?” Hal took his hand off her knee and put it back on the steering wheel. “Thought so.”

 

 

                The first time she came over his house for dinner was the summer after freshman year. His older sister, Gertie, had invited Penny Bennet over that night too and both girls’ faces had dropped when Alice walked in.

                “Really Hal?” his sister had asked just too loud as Alice introduced herself to his parents in the kitchen. Alice had turned in her normal torn jeans and t-shirt for a denim skirt and yellow blouse. “Isn’t she kind of a… bad girl? Doesn’t she sell weed, Penny?”

                “Yes, she does,” Penny scowled. Her eyes looked Alice up and down from the doorway of the living room. “And she’s mean as anything. She just looks so out of place here. Girls like that should stick to what they know best.”

                Hal rolled his eyes. He had little patience for the girl who dragged his sister around like a pet. It was a while before he picked up on why the snobby rich girl had any interest in his free-spirited sister.

                "What’s that, Penny?”

                “Trash.”

                Gertie threw her head back in a laugh, pulling attention from Alice and his parents in the next room. Alice smiled at him and Hal felt his stomach flutter.

                At dinner, Gertie asked, “Didn’t you try out for cheerleading last year, Alice? Trying again?”

                Alice perked up, grateful for the question. “I was thinking track actually. I’ve always been a great runner.”

                “You must have a lot of experience,” Penny chimed in, smile plastered across her face. “Probably spent half your life running from cops in the Southside, right?”

                His father coughed into his glass and his mother dropped her fork.

                “Penelope Bennet,” his mother exclaimed, “you are a guest in this house as well and I think you know we don’t tolerant that kind of talk here.”

                Penny pursed her lips, cheeks now matching her red hair. “I’m sorry, Alice. I’m sure your running skills have nothing to do with whatever problems you’ve had with the law.”

                Alice’s eyes widened. “I’ve never –”

                Gertie jumped out of her seat. “Can we be excused, Mom? Dad?”

                “Yes, please,” his dad responded. His sister grabbed Penny by the arm and led her up the stairs to her room.

                His mom sighed and began picking up plates from the table. “I am so sorry, Alice. I don’t know what’s gotten into Penny. She’s normally such a delight.”

                “She sure is,” Alice replied with a smile. She smirked at Hal and rolled her eyes. He stifled a laugh.

                After Alice went home, he helped his mom dry the dishes. The giggles of Gertie and Penny traveled down the stairs into the kitchen.

                “Hal, what exactly did Penny mean by Alice having problems with the law?”

                He stared intently at the plate he was drying. “Nothing. Penny’s a snob. She just doesn’t like her.”

                “Oh.” A minute passed before she said, “There are a lot of problems over on the Southside now, you know. Gangs, drugs.” Hal nodded. “I would just hate to think that little girl is involved in any of that.”

                Hal knew about her selling the occasional bag of weed for her dad. Hell, the whole school knew that. He just tried not to think about it too much.

                “Mom, did you see her? You think a girl like that would be involved with a _gang_?”

                His mom narrowed her eyes. “Okay then. I’m just looking out for you. I’d hate for you to fall in with the wrong crowd or with the… the wrong type of young girl.”

                “You don’t need to worry about me. Or Alice. She’s not the wrong type of girl.”

                She gave him a forced smile. “Sure.”

 

               

                The knocks came just after midnight. The doorbell worked perfectly well, but in true dramatic Smith fashion, Alice’s dad felt the need to use his fist to half break down the front door.

                Hal had been home over an hour already, unable to sleep after the news dropped on him. When the knocks started, he looked out his bedroom window and saw Rodger Smith’s truck parked crooked in front of his house. He raced down the stairs, nearly knocking over his half-sleeping parents on the way. When he opened the door, Mr. Smith stood in front of him, holding his daughter tightly by the forearm. He let go of her with a small shove to the side and smiled.

                “Just who I wanted to see.”

                Mr. Smith was by no means a large man, his daughter taking after him in that effect. But Hal completely forgot that when his fist met his face. He fell back and Alice’s dad got one more shot at him before his own dad pulled Rodger back.

                “What’s going on?” his mother shrieked. Alice jumped inside and slammed the door behind her, knowing that after her son’s face, his mother’s next concern was making sure the neighbors didn’t hear the commotion. She looked Alice, still in her homecoming dress, make up running once more, up and down. “Alice, what happened?”

                “What happened?” Rodger Smith asked, cruel smile playing as his lips. He shrugged off Hal’s father, who held him by his jacket. “What happened is your son knocked up my daughter. I expect you’ll be wanting to take care of this, because God knows I’m not going to.”

 

 

                “I need to make a call,” his mother said softly, two hours later. His father was walking Alice’s dad to the car, surely working out whatever final details they didn’t want them to hear. “Alice, you can sleep in Gertie’s room tonight. I’m sure you can find something in her closet to wear.”

                Half way up the stairs Alice turned around and directed her first words to him since their car ride earlier that night. “Your sister’s room reeks of sage and patchouli. I can’t sleep in there.”

                “She’s been away at school for two months.”

                She put her hand on his arm. “Just let me sleep in your room. Please?”

                He glanced over his shoulder, down the stairs. “They won’t be happy.”

                She let out a forced laugh. “We’re already at worst case scenario. What else could they do to us?”

                He nodded and took her hand, leading her into his bedroom. Once, inside she opened a drawer and pulled out a Radiohead t-shirt of his. Despite seeing her naked dozens of times, he averted his eyes when she unzipped her dress, not feeling right looking at her when she was so vulnerable.

                He lied down in bed. A few seconds later the light clicked off and he felt Alice’s weight next to him. Before he could move, she placed her hand on his cheek. He winced.

                “I told my dad not to hit you,” she said gently. “You’re going to look like hell tomorrow.”

                “I’ll survive.” He could just make out her face from the dim light coming in from the window. He tried to wipe a bit of the mascara from under her eye, but wound up just smudging it further. “Are you scared?”

                 She sighed. “Not scared. Trapped. Like I’m being forced into a corner.”

                “What else can we do?” he asked softly. “You want to run away?”

                She nuzzled up against him. “No. If I’m anything, I’m a realist.”

                “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to make this better.”

                “How many times do I have to tell you? You can’t fix everything. Even when things are broken, they can’t always be fixed.” She moved her head upwards and planted her lips on his neck.

                "Are we broken, Alice?”

                She placed a kiss on his lips. “Definitely.”  

                “So what’re you doing? If you’re mad at me, why’re you kissing me?”

                She shifted her body until she was straddling him. “I’m not mad at you. I’m _furious_. Your parents are sending me away. Sending me away and all you could do is sit there and nod along with their fucking plan.” He moved his hands to her hips, the bottom of his shirt resting just a few inches below on her thighs. “I don’t know where this leaves us. All I know is I’m going to be gone for at least five months. Do what you want during that time. I don’t care anymore.” She leaned down and kissed him hard this time. “Just be with me tonight at least.”

                “You’re… we can’t. Not when you’re already…”

                “Exactly. I can’t get any more pregnant. Just let me have this. Let me say goodbye.”

                He slid his right hand off her hip and gently placed it on her lower stomach. She squirmed a bit before putting her own hand on top of his.

                “This isn’t goodbye, Alice. I don’t want this to be goodbye.”

                He could make out her nod in the dark. “Bye for now at least.”

                 

                It felt like their first time all over again.

                Hal didn’t fall asleep until after she left in the morning, still clad in his shirt with a pair of his sister’s gym pants pulled on underneath. She climbed into his mom’s car with a small wave. Neither of his parents said a word to him. He slept until 6 o’clock that night when his father knocked on his door.

                “Dinner,” was all he said before walking back down the hall. He didn’t get up.

                When he woke up on Monday morning, his dad was in his room, sitting at his desk.

                “You’re not going to stay in this room and feel sorry for yourself. Get up and go to school.”

                Hal nodded. He got dressed and cringed at his face when he looked in the mirror. It looked even worse than it felt. He got in his car, drove to Sweetwater River, and sat on the bank until 2:30. He drove home and went back to sleep.

                His dad shook him awake when he came home from work.

                “So you’re not going to school now?” Hal shrugged. His father sighed.

                “Mom’s not talking to me?”

                He paused in the doorway but didn’t turn around.

                “No. I don’t think she is. I know you don’t want to go to school with your face looking like that, I know how people talk. But try tomorrow, yeah?”

                “You think I care what they say?”

                “Yeah, I think you do.” His dad slammed the door behind him.

                Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday passed with the same routine. His dad knocked every morning and told him to get up to school and he ignored him. He got up after they went to work, ate, and went back to his room.

                His mom finally broke on Friday morning.

                She snatched his blanket off of him. “Get up,” she said harshly. “We’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

                “Leaving?”

                “For school.”

                “I can get myself to school.”

                She glared at him. “No, Hal. I don’t think you can. Don’t make me tell you a second time.”

                His keys were missing from the hook on the door. He looked outside and saw his mom already sitting in her car. He leaned down to her window.

                “Where’re my keys?”

                “Get in the car.”

                “Mom…”

                “Don’t make me repeat myself,” she spat. He reluctantly walked around to the passenger side and climbed in. She backed out of the driveway.

                “What’s going on?” This was a side of his mom that came out rarely and he wanted to proceed with caution.

                She kept her eyes fixed on the road. “What’s going on is I’m going to spend every Friday for the next five months picking up assignments from the high school, taking them all the way to Alice, picking up what she’s completed for the week, and then drive back to the high school to drop that stuff off. This is highly unorthodox. It took a two hour meeting with the principal and her teachers to come to this agreement. All to give that girl some shot of being able to graduate this year.”

                “I… I could drive out there after school on Fridays, or on Saturdays and do it. You don’t need to go through the trouble.”

                His mom’s lips curled into a scowl. “The trouble? It’s far too late to worry about the trouble of it all, now isn’t it? You’ve sat around moping for nearly a week. Why? Are you the one we had to send away? Are you the one who has to give birth? Has to hand a child off to strangers? I don’t think you quite grasp the reality of the situation.”

                “How am I not grasping the reality?” he scoffed. “You want me to not care, to not feel anything? Am I just supposed to pretend she’s off visiting her aunt for a few months?”

                “Honestly Hal, I want you to be in pain right now. You ruined that girl’s life. _Ruined_ it. And now you seem hell bent on ruining your own.”

                “I got her pregnant, Mom. I didn’t _kill_ her.”

                “You might as well have. Alice may not have been my favorite person, but she was smart, talented, ambitious. All I ever saw was how bad she wanted to get out of that cesspool she grew up in. And I won’t lie. For a split second, it occurred to me… maybe she did it on purpose. To trap you. To see if we’d take her in.”

                “Wow. It’s like you don’t know her at all.”

                “I said for a second,” she hissed. They pulled into the parking lot of the school. “But when I saw her face, how devastated she looked... She’s not getting a scholarship, Hal. She’ll be lucky to get into a decent school after missing half her senior year. And that is all on you.” She finally looked at him. “I don’t know what she wants to do with you when she’s out, but I’ll be damned if I’m letting her live with her father again. Did you know about all of that?”

                He swallowed. “All of what?”

                His mother rolled her eyes. “No one could miss that bruise on her arm. I can only imagine what other marks she’s learned to hide. No wonder she used to wear baggy clothes all the time. But you knew all about that, I suppose?”

                “It’s doesn’t happen a lot. Hardly ever anymore.”

                She shook her head. “You want to cry to me about how much you love that girl, but you knowingly let her father abuse her? If I knew it was that bad there…” She sighed. “I’m looking at you right now and I see a stranger. Geez. Never did your sister give us a problem like this.”

                “Trust me. Gertie getting pregnant is the last thing you’d ever need to worry about. The _last thing._ ” He opened the car door. Before climbing out he turned to his mother and said, “As much as you hate me right now, Mom, believe me when I say I hate myself more.” He slammed the door behind him.

               

               

                He managed to get through his first class with little problem. He got there early and buried his face in his hands, hoping he’d just come off as looking sick. He was thankful that at least once everyone saw his beat up face, they’d probably forget to ask about Alice and focus on him.

                “Oh my God,” Hermione shrieked in second period Calculous, running to his desk. “What did that psycho do to you?”

                “Hermione!” Mary hissed, giving the girl a nudge. Hermione scowled at her.

                “Come on, Mary. Are we supposed ignore poor Hal’s face?” She turned back on him. “You’re a real gentleman. I bet you didn’t even try to stop her.”

                “There’s no way Alice did that to him,” Mary whispered. More people were walking into the classroom and Hermione was drawing attention to them.

                “Of course she did. I ran into his mother –” Hermione seemed to remember he was sitting right in front of her and turned her attention back on him. “I saw your mother in the office this morning. Actually, I saw you getting out of her car this morning and I thought that was so weird. Like where’s your car?” She gasped, finally taking a seat in the desk in front of him. Mary rolled her eyes; that was her desk. “Did she wreck your car too?”

                “Oh my God,” Mary muttered.

                “Like, did she wreck it or just mess it up or something? Take a crowbar to it?”

                He stared at Hermione, slack jawed, wondering why he was surprised by her questioning.          

                “Hal?” Mary asked, warily placing a hand on his shoulder. He had to stop himself from shrugging her off. “You doing okay? You never miss school.”

                “I’m fine. Great,” he said. “Awesome.”

                Mary slowly pulled her hand away. “And Alice?”

                “She’s great.”

                “Great?” Hermione was smirking. “I’m just so glad she’s getting that help she needs.”

                “Don’t start,” Mary pleaded.

                “What? This is a small town. You don’t get locked up in the loony bin without the whole school finding out.”

                Hal straightened up. “Is that what? Alice is _not_ –”

                The bell cut him off. Mary slid down in the desk next to him. Before turning around, Hermione whispered, “I don’t really go for the bad boy look, but for what it’s worth, you look kind of hot with a black eye.”

                Hal sunk back down in his desk, wondering if he’d really been reduced to ‘bad boy.’

 

 

                He and Alice normally ate lunch in the Blue and Gold office, so he knew he’d get somewhat of a break during fourth period. There was a pile of articles sitting on his desk that he pushed into corner. He placed his head down, not knowing how he was going to get through the next four periods, much less the next five months.

                During third period, it seemed news of his return to school had already made the rounds. No less than five classmates asked about what happened to him, and two asked where Alice had been all week.               

                The door creaked open slowly and then clicked closed.

                “Where the hell have you been?” he heard someone asked. Hal peaked up and groaned at FP.

                “I’m really not in the mood for you,” he muttered, putting his head back down. FP chuckled and Hal heard a chair scrape across the floor. He sat down in front of his desk.

                “We need to talk about Alice.”

                “We don’t need to talk about anything.”

                FP kicked the desk and Hal's head shot up. FP flinched at his face.

                “Shit, Coop. I’m almost afraid to ask which one of them did that. I guess Rodger, but seeing the way Alice wailed on you, I won’t count her out of the running.”

                Hal rubbed his temples. “Of course it was her dad. They showed up in the middle of the night and he punched me as soon as I opened the door.”

                FP shook his head. “Dude, I had this whole speech prepared about how you fucked up. It was full of gloating and shame and all those good things. But looking at you… shit. Now I just feel bad.”

                “Spare me the lecture. I got a decent one today already.”

                “So where is she?” FP put his feet up against the desk and leaned his chair back. “Back at your place, licking her wounds until her dad chills out?”

                “Licking her wounds?”

                “Yeah well,” FP rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to rest a few days after that… procedure.”

                Hal shook his head. “I can’t talk about this with you.”

                “Well who can you talk about it with then? I’m guessing this isn’t exactly something you’re printing in the Blue and Gold. ‘Local Track Star and Aspiring Journalist Terminates Pregnancy.’ Although damn, people might actually read if you start printing stories like that.”

                “She didn’t exactly... she’s not going to do that.”

                FP stared at him for a long minute. “You don’t mean you guys are actually going through with it? Are congratulations in order?

                Hal put it head back down and talked into the desk.

                 “She’s having the baby, but we’re not keeping it. Once my parents found out, they only left us so many options.”

                “Such as?”

                “We keep the baby, but we need to get married and Alice needs to drop out. Or, she goes away, gives the baby up, and comes back like everything is normal.”

                “Coop,” FP grabbed his arm. He looked up at him. “That is so fucked. You just let them send her away?”

                “I didn’t let them do anything. She never would have went for any plan that involved her dropping out and I wouldn’t let her if she tried. At least this way she stands a chance of graduating this year.”

                “Shit man.” FP ran his hand through his hair. “So she’s going to be away for a while. People are already talking you know.”

                “I already heard Hermione’s theory, thanks.”

                “That’s just one of them. You don’t miss a week of school without people talking. Now with you coming back with your face like that… Wait for the rest of them.”

                “I don’t care what they say about me.”

                “Yeah, but you care what they say about her, right? Girl goes missing for nine months and it’s just a matter of time before people put two and two together.”

                “You’re not going to say anything, are you?”

                “I don’t know. What’s it worth to you?” Hal raised his eyebrow. “I’m kidding. Allie and I go way back. I wouldn’t do that to her.”

                “Allie,” Hal said, edge creeping into his voice at the joke. “You know she hates it when you call her that. That’s what her dad calls her.”

                FP narrowed his eyes. “I’ve known her my whole life. I work for her dad. She’s kidding when she says she doesn’t like it.”

                “She’s really not. You don’t know her like I know her.”

                 “No, Coop. You don’t know her like I know her. You really think she tells you everything? She didn’t even tell you she was pregnant.”

                “She told me when you kissed her.”

                FP regarded him carefully. “That was a long time ago. It didn’t mean anything.”

                “It was last year, and I know it didn’t mean anything. Because Alice told me and I trust her. She’s not just my girlfriend; she’s my best friend.”

                “She still your girlfriend after all this?” Hal shrugged. “You need some more friends. Both of you. I hate to side with Hermione on anything, but do you guys ever think maybe it is a little unhealthy to only have each other? No offence, but you’re a mess after a few days without her. Do you even know what to do with yourself? What you’re going to do without her?”

                “Not a clue. Not a fucking clue.” He sighed. “I feel so guilty. Why should I get to walk around free while she can’t? I feel like I should be punished. My parents not talking to me is more of a relief than anything.”

                FP threw his head back and sighed. “You need a ride home, right? I hear Alice trashed your car.”

                “Very funny. And no, I can walk. I’m sure my parent’s intention in taking my car is to keep me humble.”

                “Freddy and I have band practice after school. Come watch us.”

                “Do I look like one of your groupies?”

                “You wish you looked like our groupies. It’s fun though. Light up a joint, jam a little. It’ll chill you out.”

                “Why should I get to chill out when she’s suffering?”

                “Because she’d probably kick your ass if she saw you acting this fucking pathetic. So you coming today?

                “I don’t think so.”

                “Great.” FP pounded the desk as he stood up. “Meet us by the van after school. Don’t make me track you down.” He left, rapping on the doorframe on his way out.

                Hal glanced at the stack of articles balancing on the edge of his desk. He was editor of the school paper, so it was his responsibility to get through them all by the week’s end.

                He dropped his forehead back down. Without Alice’s articles, chances are no one would read the Blue and Gold anyway. The paper could wait until Monday. Let him burn out this weekend at the very least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feeding off validation from people on the internet. Show me some love!


	3. Rich Girl - December 1992

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione struggles with Fred, school, a new boy, and mapping out the rest of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all the wonderful people actually out there reading and encouraging me to continue!

_You can get along if you try to be strong_ _, But you'll never be strong_ – “Rich Girl” Hall and Oats

 

                Everything he did in private was just so slow.

                The way he lazily took her hand and laced his fingers through hers. The way he lay her down in the back of his van, trailing neat kisses one by one down her neck. How, only after a decent twenty minutes of making out, his hand would finally creep under her sweater. Even then, it’d be another ten before it came off.

                In his own, regular way of life, he was impulsive. Reckless. Never thought twice about anything, just did.

                In private Fred was just so slow, so careful. Hermione didn’t want slow. She wanted fast fast fast.

 

                She sat up and shoved Fred’s head back when she felt his teeth lightly bite her neck. “No hickeys,” she said sternly. He gave her a lopsided smile, face illuminated by the small about of light shining from the streetlamp outside. They were parked on a dead end street a few blocks from her house.

                “I’m just returning the favor, babe.” He pushed down on her shoulder lightly until she was lying down again. “You bruised the hell out of me last week. And I’m not exactly a scarf guy, so…” He buried his head back in her neck. She tapped his head lightly.

                “I said no, Fred.” He pulled away and pouted. “Oh please. I never saw your dad as proud as when he saw your neck, so you’re welcome. However, my parents aren’t going to have the same reaction when their baby girl goes home looking like she lost a fight with your mouth.”

                “Just tell them you were messing around with some hooligan again. They’ll understand.” He pressed his lips against hers. He pulled away when she tried to slip her tongue in his mouth. “Now now now. You’re the one who wants to take it slow.”

                Hermione scowled. “I don’t want to take it slow, Fred. I want to speed this up threefold. Just because I don’t want you marking up my neck and embarrassing me, doesn’t mean I don’t want to get a move on.”

                Fred nodded slowly. “Embarrass you?”

                “Not embarrass me. Just… I feel like you’re trying to mark me as your property.”

                He raised his eyebrow. “Seriously? And you didn’t do the same to me?”

                “You _like_ stuff like that, Freddy. I don’t. It’s a badge of honor coming from your girlfriend. It’s demeaning coming from your boyfriend.”

                “Ah. So this is your stepping stone into the world of feminism?”

                “Indeed.” She looked at her watch and sat up. “Shit. It’s already 10:30. I need to get home.”

                Fred pouted. “Your curfew isn’t for over an hour.”

                “It’s Christmas Eve! You know my family opens gifts at midnight. They only reason they let me out is because I said I was having dinner with your family.”

                “And we didn’t have dinner with my family because,” he started kissing her neck again and she slowly laid back down, “you wanted some action?”

                Hermione bit her lip and pushed him off, looking him in the eye. “I _did_ , and got very little.”

                “Babe, you’re always in such a rush. Enjoy the little things in life.”

                “I enjoy plenty of things, Fred. Both little and large. However, when my boyfriend making me beg for sex –”

                “Beg for sex?” Fred laughed. “If one of us was going to beg for sex, you really think it’d be you begging me?”

                She pursed her lips. “Feels that way sometime.”

                “Come on. I just like to enjoy everything, take my time. Why rush when we don’t have to?”

                “Life’s too short. How can I enjoy the little things if they take three hours?”

                He raised his eyebrow. “What are you calling little?”

                She grabbed the collar of his flannel shirt and pulled him back on top of her, crashing their lips together. Fred pulled away, breathless. “Don’t you need to get home?”

                “Can you be quick?”

                “I can damn well try.”

                He dropped her off half an hour later, just a few minutes after 11. She leaned in to give him a quick kiss good bye and he held her by the face, stroking her cheek.

                “This is real sweet and all, Freddie, but I have to get inside before my family looks out and sees us.”

                “When will I see you next?”

                “Well, we’re having Christmas dinner with my brother-in-law’s family tomorrow, and Saturday is the day after Christmas. It’s going to be crazy at the store. I’m sure my dad will need my help.”

                Fred sighed. “So I won’t see you until my show on Sunday?”

                “Show?”

                “I told you we got a gig.”

                “You mean at the bowling alley?”                            

                “Hell, a gig is a gig. I’m not picky.”

                Hermione laughed. “You work at the bowling alley. All you had to do was ask.”

                “I mean, I had ask _nicely_.”

                She rolled her eyes. “Of course I’ll come watch The Fredheads play.”

                “You better.” He gave her a lazy grin, slowly rubbing her cheek with his thumb. “Hey Hermione, I’ve been wanting to tell you something…”

                Hermione’s eyes widened. “Oh Fred, you don’t –”

                “I lo–”

                She pressed her lips against him as quick as she could. Fred’s thumbnail accidentally scratched her cheek, but she ignored the pain and quickly pressed her tongue into his mouth. He gasped against her mouth, but kissed her back nonetheless. When she pulled away, she placed a finger on his lips.

                “Merry Christmas, Fred. I’ll see you on Sunday.”

                She jumped out of out the van before her could get out the next two words.

 

 

                Fred Andrews was far from the scrawny little boy she’d met in third grade. Hell, he was far from the scrawny boy who’d first asked her out sophomore year, back when he was still too much elbows and knees and not enough muscle in between to justify any of it.

                It was their last cheer practice before the homecoming game that weekend, so they were practicing on the field in their actual uniforms. Hermione was the only freshman to make the cut as a River Vixen the year before, and was now one of the most talented, earning her a spot right in front for their routine. (“I’d certainly hope so,” her father had muttered when she told her family. “All those dance classes better have paid off.”) Fred and a few other boys from the JV team, still clad in practice jerseys, watched them from the fence while the varsity team practiced on the far side of the field.

                Penny Bennet was only a junior, but she had been made cheer captain that year. She spun around with a flip of her hair as one of boys as one let out a low whistle.

                “That’s it! We’re taking it back inside, Vixens. I will not have my girls whistled at and degraded by a group of animalistic boys not good enough to make varsity. Move it in!”

                Groans came from cheerleaders and football players alike. Someone yelled out, “Well of course Penny doesn’t want _boys_ checking her out,” which was met with a few chuckles. Penny didn’t let on that she heard.

                Hermione sighed and collected her duffle bag from the pile by the fence. The rich purple of her bag stood out from the school distributed blue and yellow ones all athletes were given at the beginning of the year.

                “Hey Hermione,” someone said from the other side of the fence. She glanced up and gave the boy an eyebrow raise.

                “Oh, Hey Fred.” She gave him a polite smile and turned to head away. He made a move to grab the strap of her bag, but missed, brushing her arm instead. She laughed and turned back around. “Do you need something or…?”

                He shrugged, letting a goofy smile creep onto his face. “Just wanted to see what’s up.”

                “I hardly recognized you without your shadow.”

                “What, you mean FP?” Fred gestured to the varsity team with his head. “He’s practicing.”

                Hermione pursed her lips. “Don’t tell me he made varsity already? He’s only a sophomore.”

                “He’s really good. Coach just bumped him.”

                “What about you?”

                Fred let out a hearty laugh. “I’m… okay. Average at best. If we weren’t already short people, I probably would have been cut this season.”

                She looked him up and down, regarding him carefully. “No, Fred. I’m sure you’re good. Hit the weight room and tone up. You’ll definitely make varsity next year.”

                “Don’t know how true that is, but thanks.” His eyes trailed her body quickly before he looked her in the eyes again. “So homecoming is this Saturday.”

                She stiffened. “It is.”

                “So are you going with anyone?”

                “Friends,” she said quickly. “Me and some of the other girls from the squad are going together. You know, like a group.”

                “Hmm. So no dates?”

                “Exactly. No dates. I’m sorry.”

                He laced his fingers through the fence. “No, it’s cool. Maybe we can go out another time though? Like go to Pops or catch a movie or something?”

                She nodded curtly. “Maybe, yeah. But like no time soon though. I work at Spiffys on the weekends and tis the season. Busy time of year.”

                “It’s October.”

                “Well, the holidays come sooner and sooner every year. You understand, right?”

                Fred nodded quickly, poorly hiding the disappointment in his face. “Yeah, totally. Maybe after the New Year or something. When you’re free.”

                I need to catch up with the girls. We have a lot to get through today.” She started making her way to walk back to the gym.

                “Hey, is Mary Taylor part of the group you’re going with?”

                She spun back around. “Why?”

                “I thought I might ask her if you couldn’t go with me. As friends.”

                Hermione paused, weighing her options. Mary never came out and said it, but she knew the tall girl had a crush on Fred.

                “That’s… interesting. Is Mary your type?”

                Fred raised his eyebrow. “I don’t know what my type is really. Mary’s just really cool. We’re good friends.”

                “Well, you also say you’re good friends with Alice Smith and that’s about as poor taste as you can get.”

                He laughed. “Alice is definitely just my friend and not my type. Too tomboyish and loud. Plus, she has a boyfriend.”

                “Oh please. Hal isn’t her boyfriend. He just hangs around her because he feels bad for her.”

                “Well, they’re going to homecoming together at least. They were talking about it in lunch today.” Fred started bouncing on the balls of his feet, looking a little uncomfortable. “Hey, can you tell Mary to call me tonight when you get back to practice?”

                She looked him up and down once more. His hair was flying every which way and his jersey, while clean, was wrinkled as anything. Despite his devil-may-care look, he was quite good looking. He just needed a little polishing. Mary wasn’t exactly the kind of girl who knew how to polish up herself, much less a boy like Fred.

                “You know what? I will do you this favor. I’ll let my girls down and go with you.” Fred’s face broke out into a grin. “But this does not promise you any future dates. Agreed?”

                He gave her an enthusiastic nod. She smirked and walked away. She’d be damned if Alice Smith had a date to homecoming and she didn’t.

 

 

                Mr. Nichols managed Spiffys Department Store and, as a result, Hermione had been working there since she was fourteen-years-old, bouncing between the jewelry and perfume counters. At seventeen, she could tell you what perfume your mom wanted for her birthday or what pair of earing would make your wife swoon.

                “There’s value in hard work,” her father always told her when she complained about working nearly every weekend. “Even if you don’t need the money, everyone needs to know what it’s like to make an honest living.”

                Hermione always snorted at this. Her eldest sister, Portia, met a rich guy her first year of college and dropped out to marry him. Her parents were thrilled about the marriage (and lukewarm about her dropping out of NYU). Her other sister, Bianca, was engaged to a nice man on his way to becoming a doctor. Her parents were enraged when they discovered Bianca planned on working right after graduation to help him pay his way through medical school. So much for an honest living.

                She sprayed the jewelry counter down with cleaner and started wiping. Her dad swore today would be busy, but years of this job told Hermione that perfume and high end jewelry were not the things typically exchanged the day after Christmas. She smiled at passerbys as she wiped down the sparkling cases, letting her thoughts take her away.

                Fred nearly told her that he loved her.

                Fred Andrews was in love with her.

                She swallowed the lump forming in her throat. Fred was a good guy. A great one, in fact. As a boyfriend, he was sweet and attentive. Popular and well liked. A loveable goofball all around. He played football (not great, of course) and had this own band (also not great, but they had fun at least). Hermione and him had an on-again, off-again thing going for nearly two years before she finally gave in and called it a relationship. That had been over four months ago. So what changed?

                Well, everything.

                Despite all her running arounds with Fred, they’d never actually had sex before last spring, right before she left to spend the summer in the Hamptons with her family. That night had seemed so perfect. Slow and passionate and loving. Neither of them were virgins, but Hermione would be damned if she didn’t hear Madonna singing in her head that night.

                They parted ways during the summer, giving each other permission to have fun while she was away. Hermione met Mark, the swim instructor. His sun-bleached hair always fell in his eyes and he teased her mercilessly about being a tourist. Fred, she figured, would maybe take a girl or two to the Bijou, share a milkshake at Pops or something of the like.

                What she hadn’t expected was for him to have a summer romance with Mary Taylor.

                Hermione wasn’t jealous of Mary, couldn’t possibly be jealous of Mary. Sure, Mary was smart and tall. She had legs that went on for miles and her looks increased tenfold last year when she finally got her braces taken off. Even her glasses screamed quaint girl-next-door look instead of total nerd. She would probably be valedictorian come June and get to go to some great school far away from Riverdale.

                Hermione wasn’t jealous. She just didn’t get it.

                Sometimes she wondered if everyone she knew got their relationships all sorts of mixed up. Mary and Fred sounded like some sort of weird social experiment. Mary deserved a nice, smart boy to match her. A boy like Hal Cooper would be perfect. Hermione had nearly jumped out of her seat last month when Mary told her that Hal had come over her house to watch a movie. Her excited faltered at Mary’s quizzically expression and explanation that they watched a documentary about a meatpacking workers strike. She zoned out when Mary started recounting details.

                However, if two people could watch a movie about meatpackers together without dying of boredom, that surely meant they were soulmates.

                Hal was another problem. He’d been infatuated with Alice Smith as long as Hermione could remember. Alice was loud-mouthed and hotheaded. She was Southside and tougher than any girl of her stature should be. She wrapped Hal around her little finger and wrapped herself in him until the two of them didn’t even see the rest of the world anymore.

                It was a bit sick, if Hermione was being honest.

                And now that Alice had been missing in action for over two months, Hal was a damn _mess_. Exactly why she was the wrong type of girl for him. Mary wouldn’t do a thing like that.

                Alice needed someone who could match her sharp tongue and understood her piss poor attitude. While Hermione wasn’t a fan of either of them, she couldn’t understand why FP Jones and her never worked themselves together.

                They were both Southside, grew up together. Hermione had once caught them sitting alone in a bedroom at a party and had been a bit let down that their meeting seemed innocent.  

                Everyone she knew seemed like they were wrong wrong wrong for each other, yet here she stood, with her great boyfriend, not knowing why she dreaded him saying those three little words to her.

                Because if she wasn’t meant to be with Fred, if he wasn’t the one who was right right right for her, than who was?

 

                “Hermione Nichols!” a voice rang out through the nearly empty jewelry department. Hermione shook herself out of her daydream as two girls came flouncing down the counter towards her.

                “Penny! Gertie!” she exclaimed, leaning over to kiss either on the cheek. Gertrude Cooper and Penelope Bennett had been inseparable during their time at Riverdale High. Gertie, the tall, flowy hair hippie constantly following around bossy, little Penny. The two always on each other’s arms, in each other’s laps. Hermione knew the rumors, it was hard not to, but knew better than to ask. It was their own business after all and of no consequence to anyone else. It had surprised many though when Gertie went off to UCLA and Penny to Dartmouth last year.

                “I am so glad you’re working today!” Penny exclaimed. Always the cheerleader, she was bouncing on the balls of her feet, unable to stand still. “We have so much to catch up on!”

                “But first of all,” Gertie chimed in, voice sing-song as always “we really need some information. What happened between my brother and Alice?”

                “That little _wench_ Alice. I never did like her. No one does.”

                Hermione rolled her eyes. “God, I never thought I’d tire of trash talking Alice Smith, but I have. What do you need to know?”

                “Well, what happened between them? Why’d they break up?” Penny asked.

                “The second I came home, my parents forbid me from even mentioning her name,” Gertie said. “Hal is a mess. I’m afraid if the wind blows the wrong way he’s going to have a nervous breakdown. What did she do? I ought to go right to her house and ask what the hell’s wrong with her.”

                Hermione absentmindedly wiped the counter. “Well what good would that do? She’s gone.”

                Gertie and Penny raised their eyebrows in sync. “Gone?”

                She sighed. “Gone. She got crowned homecoming queen and no one’s seen her since. Just stopped coming to school. Then Hal misses like a week of school himself and comes back with his face beat up and no car. Now he’s hanging around with idiots like FP Jones, getting stoned before school every day like a burn out.” Hermione shook her head. “Such a shame. And he won’t tell anyone what happened to her. Rumor has it she went nuts and your parents had her committed. Or she ran away. Or got pregnant. Hell, maybe she joined the circus. But what do I know? It’s nothing to me.”

                Gertie rapped her knuckles against the glass. Hermione flinched. “I think I need to get home.”

                Penny nodded, handing Gertie her shopping bags. “Bring my car around and I’ll meet you out front? I want to catch up with Hermione real quick.”

                She nodded and took off with Penny’s shopping. Penny turned on Hermione with a huge grin.

                “Sorry to drag you down with talk of that little witch. Gertie’s just been so worried about Hal since she got home.”

                “It’s nothing. I’m just sick of talking about her. She’s been gone for months and it’s still such a hot topic.”

                “Even in her absence, she still haunts you. How awful.” Penny sighed. “How are my Vixens?”

                “Great. Thank you so much for recommending me as cheer captain. It’s been amazing.”

                “Anything for you, darling.” Penny leaned over the counter and Hermione resisted the urge to push her off.  “Say, what are you doing tomorrow night?”

                “Freddie’s band is playing at the bowling alley. I have to go watch.”

                “Freddie? Fred Andrews? You’re not still on that?”

                Hermione bit the inside of her cheek. “Well, he is my boyfriend and all.”

                Penny’s smile faded. “Come on now, you can do better than a boy like that. As a matter of fact, I have the perfect boy for you. Sorry, perfect _man_ for you. Come out with me and my boyfriend tomorrow and you’ll meet him.”

                “Your… boyfriend?” Penny shot her a hard look. “I just didn’t know you were seeing a… boyfriend.” Penny laughed.

                “Of course you didn’t, sweetie. I haven’t seen you in months. But he’s from Riverdale of course. Cliff Blossom?” Hermione nodded. Cliff had been a few grades ahead of them at school. “So he goes to Dartmouth too and he is amazing. We reconnected and just totally clicked. I feel like I wasted so much of my life living in the same town and never getting to know him, you know? So he’s friends with this guy who’s actually from Riverdale too. Ever heard of the Lodges?”

                “Uhh, sure. One of those founding families of Riverdale, right? They own a ton of property?”

                Penny gave her a smile like they were sharing a secret. Her voice lowered even though no one else was within earshot. “Exactly. So he went to prep school. Lived between Riverdale and the city, his mom is _so_ Manhattan, but he’s here for a week or so and we wanted to show him a good time.”

                Hermione snorted. “Geez, Pen. I’m not a call girl.”

                “No, no, no! I just mean we don’t want him to feel like a third wheel when we go out. And he is so your type. Tall, dark, handsome, _rich_. Just say you’ll come.”

                “Why not take Gertie?”

                Penny’s lips tightened. “You know the Coopers and Blossoms have some grudge going back eons. She’d never do it.”

                “But she’s okay with you dating Cliff?”

                Penny’s nails tapped the glass of the display case. “She doesn’t know yet, exactly, and you’re not going to tell her, right?” She grabbed Hermione’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I love Gertie to death, but we only have a few weeks together before she goes back to LA and I go back to New Hampshire. I’m going to tell her when we come home for the summer, I swear. So you’ll go out with us tomorrow night?”

                “I don’t know, Penny. I have a boyfriend.”

                “Just tell him you’re catching up with me. A little River Vixen reunion. I’m sure he’ll understand.” She squeezed her hand again. “Pretty please?”

                Hermione bit the inside of her cheek, weighing her options. A night on the town wasn’t exactly the devil’s work. “Oh what the hell, sure. But make sure he understands it’s not a date, alright? We’re just a group of friends.”

                “Of course! We’ll pick you up at 7.”

                “Can I just meet you at your place and get a ride home?” The last thing she needed was the third degree from her entire family.

                “No problem. See you tomorrow.”

 

                Her sister clicked her teeth as they pulled up in front of Penny’s house. “Oh, Hermione. This sounds like a terrible idea,” Bianca said. “This is the kind of thing prime time TV shows tell you not to do.”

                Hermione groaned. “It’s not a date. I’m going out to dinner with a friend of a friend’s boyfriend, with said friend and said boyfriend.”

                “Saying the word friend a dozen times doesn’t stop it from being a date. Did you tell Fred?”

                “I told Fred I’d be with Penny, yes.”

                She pursed her lips. “Didn’t you two have a date tonight?”

                “No. His band is just playing at the bowling alley. And maybe I can even make it afterwards. How long can dinner possibly take?”

                Her sister stared her down. “Oh, you think you’re just going to dinner? College guys love taking out naïve high school girls. Wine them, dine them, suggest you go guys somewhere alone to _get to know each other better._ ”

                “I am _not_ naïve, thank you very much.” She climbed out of the car and her sister whistled to get her attention.

                “Just remember the rule of thumb. High school boys go up the shirt, but college boys go up the skirt.”

                “Clever. Come up with that yourself?” She slammed the car door and ran up the front lawn to Penny’s house.

                “Hermione!” Penny exclaimed. She pulled her inside and kissed her on either cheek. She linked their arms and pulled her into the living room, where two men were sitting. “Cliff, Hiram. This is my best friend, Hermione Nichols. Her dad manages that big department store downtown, Spiffies. Hermione, this is Clifford Blossom, and Hiram Lodge.”

                Cliff stood up and shook her hand with a quick “Nice to see you.” When Hermione extended her hand to Hiram, he took his hand in both of hers.

                “I’m so sorry. You said your dad manages Spiffies?” She nodded slowly. “My family owns Spiffies. Your dad is Louis Nichols?”

                Hermione was a bit taken back. “Uh, yeah he is.” Hiram let go of her hands and led her to the couch. “I’m sorry, you know my father?”

                “Not well. He normally deals with my parents really, not me.” Hiram shook his head and let out a small laugh. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bombard you or brag or anything. I just didn’t expect us to be so… connected.”

                “Me neither.” Hermione bit her lip and took in the boy. She had expected another Clifford Blossom type. Pompous, over dressed, throwing his status around. Hiram seemed genuinely embarrassed by his slip about the department store. He wore a pair of black slacks and a grey polo shirt. He looked like a typical college kid, not like the heir to half the property in Riverdale.

                “Let’s start over.” He extended his hand. “Hiram Lodge.”

                She laughed and shook his hand. “Hermione Nichols. Nice to meet you.”

                “Pleasure is all mine.” He winked and she felt a blush creeping up her cheeks.

                “Should we get going?” Cliff asked from the other side of the room. “We have reservations.”

                “Sure,” Hiram said. Hermione looked down and noticed he was still holding her hand. They both laughed.

                When they walked out the door to Cliff’s Mercedes, Penny grabbed her by her arm to slow her down. “Didn’t I tell you you’d love him?”

                Hermione watched the boy climbing into the back of the car. “That you did, Penny. That you did.”

 

                “It’s so hot in here,” Penny complained hours later, leaning against a sink in the restaurant’s bathroom. “Why is it so hot?”

                “Well, you did have three glasses of wine,” Hermione pointed out. Cliff had ordered two bottles and Hermione had subtly pushed hers in front of Penny so she wouldn’t have to drink it. She pulled Penny away from the sink and lightly shoved the girl into a stall. “You said you needed to pee.”

                “Oh Hermione,” Penny sighed from inside the stall. “You are so lucky you’re still here.”

                “In this bathroom?”  

                “No, in Riverdale. You know what I’d do to be back here?”

                “Penny, you’re going to an Ivy League school. What’s to complain about?”

                The toilet flushed and Penny opened the stall door. “If I’m being totally honest here… I hate it. College is awful. Dartmouth is awful. New Hampshire is the worst. It’s not… none of it is Riverdale.” She started washing her hands and splashed some water on her face.

                “But that’s the appeal, isn’t it? That it’s not Riverdale?”

                Penny shook her head. “No. Riverdale is safe, it’s familiar. Anything you are here, no one will give a shit about in college. I casually brought up that I was cheerleading captain for two years to my roommate and she told me how cute that was. _Cute_. You know how serious I took that squad, how serious the school took it, and she called it _cute_.” She leaned her forehead against the mirror and Hermione gently pulled her head back. “I called Gertie long distance every day my first month there. She practically laughed at me. Told me I was so used to being a big fish in a little pond and I just have to adjust. Well what if I don’t want to be a little fish? In Riverdale I’m someone. I’m everyone. There… I’m just some freshman. People keep calling me Red when they don’t remember my name. Like the only thing that makes me different from anyone else is my hair? It’s…” she let out a long sigh. “It’s too late for me. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay here.”

 

 

                “You’re such a smart girl, Hermione,” her dad said. He glanced at her over his glasses. “I just wish your grades reflected it.”

It was just over a year ago, right after the first semester of junior year.

                “But I’m passing everything, Daddy.” She tried to keep the whine out of her voice. “Maybe I’d have more time to study if you didn’t make me work –”

                “Passing isn’t always enough.” He dropped her report card on his desk. “And I think we both know you wouldn’t be spending all that extra time studying. Working teaches you life skills you don’t learn in school.”

                “So which is it?” she snapped. “Do you want me to get good grades or be a sales girl for the rest of my life? Which is more important to you?”

                “If you don’t get these grades up, I don’t think you’ll make it as much more than a sales girl.” He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “Your sisters never had a problem balancing school and work.”

                “I’m not Portia. I’m not Bianca!” her voice was raising and she knew the last thing her dad wanted was for his assistant to overhear them. “Why can’t you just accept that everything isn’t as easy for me as it is for them?”

                “Easy?” He met her gaze. “Do you think anything in life comes easy? Your sisters didn’t take the easy way.”

                “Portia dropped out of college and married a rich guy!”

                “Portia dropped out of NYU. Do you think you could even get into NYU?”

                Hermione sighed and slumped down in her chair. She shook her head.

                “I didn’t think so. What do you want to do with your life? Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

                “Dad, I’m sixteen. Do I need to figure all of this out right now?”

                He shook his head. “High school will be over before you know it. You know you’re always going to have a job here at the store but… Hermione, don’t you want more? Don’t you want something bigger than Spiffies? Than Riverdale?”

                She shrugged.

               

 

                “We don’t have to go anywhere else,” Penny yawned, head resting against the car window. “We can hang out at my place or something.”

                “I actually should get going soon,” Hiram said. They sat in the back seat of the car together, hands resting just next to each other in the middle of the seat. “You said you needed a ride home?”

                Hermione smiled at him. “That would be great.” She had really planned on trying to make it to Fred’s show, but the night had gotten away from them. It was well after 10 and there was no real reason to rush now. “I don’t live far.”

                “I wouldn’t mind if you did.” He put his hand on her knee and gave it a squeeze. She felt a flash of heat run through her body. She gulped, hoping Hiram couldn’t notice in the dark of the car.

                “Who’s car is that?” Cliff asked. They were just approaching Penny’s house and a Camaro was blocking the driveway. Despite the cold, someone was leaning against it.

                “Shit,” Penny whispered. “Just go around the block or something.”

                It was too late and Cliff had already stopped his car parallel to the driveway. The person rapped their knuckles on the window and Cliff rolled down the windows.

                “What the hell are –”

                “Oh, hi Clifford.” Gertie leaned down into the window, sour smile on her face. “Oh, and Penny. Now what could be going on?”

                “What the hell are you doing here?” Penny hissed.

                “I could ask you the same thing. What the hell are you doing out with Clifford Blossom?”

                Penny crossed her arms and turned her head away. “I can go out with whoever I want.”

                “Go out with? Is that was this is about?”

                “I’ll call you later, Gertie. Just leave.”

                Gertie shook her head. “No. He leaves and we talk about this now.”

                “Gertrude!”

                “ _Penelope_.”

                Penny dashed out of the car and grabbed Gertie by the wrist, pulling her a few feet away. The two began talking in hushed whispers. Cliff sat in the driver’s seat, slack jawed. Hiram slowly put a hand on his shoulder.

                “Hey, I think we’re getting out of here, man. My car’s just up the street.”

                “Yeah, yeah. See you.”

                Hiram tried to hold her hand when they got out of the car, but Hermione quickly buried hers in the pocket of her coat, less any watchful eyes were peeking out windows. They walked past Gertie and Penny with their heads down, trying not to overhear their conversation.

                “My car is just up here, on the corner,” Hiram muttered.

                “Don’t think I don’t see you, Hermione Nichols!” Gertie yelled down the street. Hermione paused for a second before turning around. She gave the girl a weak wave. “I bet you’re in for a rude awakening too!”

                Hiram pulled lightly on her sleeve and she climbed into his car (a vintage Cadillac, she noted), slinking as far down into the seat as she could when they drove past the girls.

                “Uh oh. Looks like Cliff is trying to intervene,” Hiram said, looking in the rearview mirror. Hermione straightened up when they got to the next street.

                “That’s going to end poorly for him.”

                “That was interesting. That’s Penny’s… girlfriend?” Hermione shrugged. “I don’t care, I’m just curious.”

                “I mean, it’s one of those things no one really talks about but everyone knows.” Hermione let out a small laugh. “They think they’re good at hiding it, but I swear I’ve seen the two of them share a single straw in a milkshake.” Hiram chuckled. “What?”

                “I just think it’s nice that the epitome of romance here is two teens sharing a milkshake. That’s just so small town Americana. In a good way, of course.”

                “Trust me, Hiram. Insult Riverdale all you want. I won’t take it personal.”

                “I’m being serious. I love the small town aspect of Riverdale. Hell, I always think I love the city until I come here to visit. This is America. This is the backbone of our county.”

                “We had to go to the next town over just to get decent baked ziti. This town has nothing to offer.”

                Hiram shook his head. “You’re looking at it all wrong. Just wait until you leave and come back.”

                “Pipe dreams.” Hermione muttered. “I feel like I’ll never get out of this town sometimes.”

                “Where do you want to go to school?”

                “I don’t know. I don’t even know if I want to go to college. Maybe I’ll be terrible at it. I mean, I’m great at math, which most people suck at, but that’s the only academic I’ve ever strived in. Now I’m afraid I’ll wind up stuck in my dad’s store and marry the first townie who asks.”

                “Townie?”

                “You know, people who live in the same town their whole life? Who think a place like Riverdale is the bees knees? Townies.” She turned her attention to the window and smirked when she noticed they were passing Penny’s block. “Hiram, are you just driving in circles because you don’t know where I live?”

                “Guilty as charged.”

                “Are you really taking me home already?”

                She could tell he choose his next words carefully. “Is there somewhere you wanted to go?”

                She turned back to him. “I just figured…” She let the phrase linger in the car. Hiram stared at the road. “I mean there are only so many reasons you could possibly want to take out a naïve high school girl.”

                “You’re hardly naïve.”

                “You don’t know me.”

                “I can tell. And Hermione, I enjoyed the pleasure of your company tonight. I’m not looking for anything more than that.”

                She shook her head slowly, looking back out the window. “Make the next right and take it for three blocks.”

                As he made the turn, he put his hand back on her knee. “What’s wrong? Did you expect something else?”

                She felt a rush of heat run through her again. Her mouth betrayed her. “I have a boyfriend.”

                His hand came off her knee. “Oh.”

                “He loves me.”

                “That’s good.”

                “But I don’t think I love him.”

                “No?”

                “And like, I came out tonight as a favor to Penny but you’re such a nice guy and I actually really like you and I had a great time, but you don’t even like me like that I guess and now I feel super guilty because at least if something happened it would have been, I don’t know, worth it? But now I just feel guilty and rejected and shitty.” She let out a breathe. “The third house on the right. Just pull up in front.”

                He put the car into park in front of her house. Before she could open the door, he leaned over and kissed her. She slowly opened her mouth and coaxed his tongue into hers. The kiss was entirely different from the slow, lazy ones she’d grown accustomed to with Fred.

                He kept his face close to hers, even after they broke apart.

                “I didn’t want to make you feel rejected. It’s just that I know I’m only here for a few more days and might not be back until summer. I didn’t want to lead you on. But I’d love to see you again before I leave.”

                “That can… be arranged, I’m sure. Let me give you my number.”

                “Penny already gave it to me.” He pressed one more quick kiss to her lips. “And if you’re so unsure about college, tell your parents you’re taking a gap year. You don’t need to go right away. Figure out what you want to do. Do what will make you happy, not what everyone else expects.”

                She went inside her house, trying to hide the smile on her face. It wasn’t until she climbed into bed that images of Fred popped into her head.

 

                The phone in her bedroom rang 9 am on the dot. She rolled over, still in pajamas, to pick it up.

                “Hey Hermione.” Mary’s voice sounded particularly soft. “Are you okay?”

                Hermione tried to process the question in her groggy state. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

                There was a long pause. “I’m sorry to call so early. Call me back when you’re a little more awake?”

                “ _Mary_. What are you talking about?”

                “Did Fred come over last night?”

                “I was with Penny last night.”

                “But after?”

                “Mary, spit out whatever you want to say.”

                Mary sighed and Hermione could almost see the pained expression on her face. She was too nice for her own good sometimes.

                “I went to see The Fredheads play last night. Hal came with his sister. Fred mentioned that you were at Penny’s and Gertie said that was impossible because Penny was sick and… well, they tried calling both of your places and no answer. So Gertie left to go see Penny and well, Fred totally bombed. He said he was going to go see you after his set but they hardly made it through…”

                Hermione felt her heart pounding in her chest. “Did you cover for me?”

                “Cover for you? I didn’t know what was going on.”

                “God, Mary,” Hermione felt tears forming in her eyes. “I thought we were friends. You really want Fred that bad for yourself you’d try to break us up?”

                “I’m trying to help –”

                “No. You’re pissed Fred choose me, even after your summer fling or whatever.” Her voice started to crack. “You… you don’t want us together.”

                Mary’s voice came out calm. “You’re upset, Hermione. You don’t mean any of that. You want me to come over so we can talk?”

                She shook her head until she remembered Mary couldn’t see her. She wiped her face with the sleeve of her nightshirt. “I need to talk to Fred.”

                “Then call him. You can call me back afterwards if you want.”

                Hermione sighed, wiping the last of her tears away. “Stop being so fucking nice all the time, Mary. A lesser person would walk all over you.”

                “Just call me later.”

                Hermione hung up the phone. She glanced out the window as her fingers started dialing Fred’s number. A VW van was parked right in front of her house and she wondered how long he’d been out there waiting for her.

                She got dressed slowly and prepared to face the music.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The documentary Mary and Hal watch is American Dream and the Madonna song Hermione hears in her head is, of course, Like a Virgin. Someone told me I throw too much pop culture references in my fics, but I'm just trying to keep up with the tone of the show. In a deleted scene, Hermione mentions working the jewelry counter at Spiffanies as a teen (just made the name a little more catchy).  
> And I don't think I mentioned it before, but Gertie comes from the Riverdale comics (Gertrude is the aunt Betty stays with in LA).
> 
> Leave me some love!


	4. Landslide - March 1993

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice returns to Riverdale and copes with the men in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to all the awesome people out there reading and validating my existence! I appreciate it more than you can ever know.

_Oh, mirror in the sky_ _what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?_ – “Landslide” Fleetwood Mac

 

                Everything hurt.

                Her head throbbed. Her feet were still swollen. The dull ache between her legs made her feel like she had been ripped open and haphazardly sewn back together. And really, isn’t that exactly what had happened?

                 What hurt most of all, buried beneath her sore breasts, was her heart. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw someone carrying away the tiny little creature she’d spent months making. The pangs in her chest came more often, the lump in her throat harder to swallow.

                Her body didn’t feel like her own anymore, hadn’t for months. Her hips stretched outwards where they’d been practically nonexistent before. Her A cups were now at least Cs. Extra skin hung around her midsection, seemingly confused as to where the bump it once covered went.

                For what must have been the tenth time that day, she went to rub her belly and held in a gasp when she realized it was gone.

 

                “You must be so glad to be coming home,” Mrs. Cooper said from the driver’s seat of the station wagon. She was in a better mood than Alice had seen her in in months. “Now that this whole ordeal is over, life can get back to normal. For all of us. Right?”

                Alice’s eyes were fixed out the window. Home. Normal. Those words didn’t have a ton of meaning for her before and they had even less now.

                “You look like you could use a shower and a nice, long nap. I can’t imagine those hospital beds are very comfortable. By the time you wake up, Hal and Johnathan will be home and we’ll have a nice dinner together. It’s your day, I’ll make whatever you want.”

                She shook herself slowly away from the window. The change of scenery was becoming overwhelming.

                “My day?” she asked. Her voice, she knew, was much softer than it’d been months ago. If The Sisters of Quiet Mercy taught her anything, it was that unnecessary noise was not becoming.

                Mrs. Cooper plastered on her ‘being polite to the neighbors’ smile. “I know your birthday isn’t for another two weeks, but you’re coming home today.”

                “I appreciate the thought, but I’d really like to just go home. To… to my house, I mean.”

                Her lips twitched, but she kept the smile on. “Alice, our home is your home. You know that.”

                “Really, Mrs. Cooper –”

                “ _Prudence_.”

                “Prudence. I think the best place for me is back with my dad.”

                “Alice. I think we both know that’s not true.”

                “I can’t intrude on your family.”

                Mrs. Cooper (Alice couldn’t figure out why anyone would rather be called Prudence) clicked her teeth. “Alice, you’ve dealt with so much these past few months, partly in fault of my son. I will not be able to forgive myself if I let you back into that house and something happens to you.”

                “Nothing is going to happen to me.” Alice played with the hem of her skirt. The material felt weird against her skin after so many months of the rough smocks the girls at the home wore. “I’ve lived with my dad for seventeen years and nothing ever happened to me. He loses his temper sometimes, but I think we both know I’m not the easiest person to get along with. He’s my father. He’d never actually hurt me.”

                Prudence’s eyes darted in her direction before looking back at the road. “You don’t have the best track record when it comes to honesty, you know. No doubt a result of growing up in a home where rules are few and far between. Not that I blame you,” she added quickly when Alice opened her mouth. “You can’t help where you’re from. I understand that. And I understand that you have a smart mouth that you can’t always control. Maybe that rubs your father the wrong way – heavens know it rubs me the wrong way sometimes – but that doesn’t give your father the right to lay his hands on you.”

                “I want to go home.”

                “And you will be home.” They were just pulling onto Elm Street now. “A few days. Stay with us a few days and see how you feel.”

                Alice bunched the skirt up in her hands and took a deep breath. “I _feel_ terrible,” she breathed out. Her voice was strained and feeble. “I _feel_ like I just made a huge mistake. I _feel_ so much right now, I can’t think straight. I can’t imagine a few days of sleep and home cooked meals are going to make me _feel_ better about him.”

                The car shifted into park in the driveway. Prudence turned her eyes on Alice. “Him?”

                Alice stared down at her lap. “Yes, him. Your grandson.”

                She could hear the edge creeping into Mrs. Copper’s voice. Before a few months ago, before the night of homecoming where everything came out in the open, she had never actually seen Hal’s mother angry. Now Alice had a hard time remembering the woman with the plastic smile always plastered on her face. “Alice, how do you know it was a boy?”

                She shook her head. Prudence reached her hand across and turned Alice’s face lightly so they were looking at one another.

                “I stole my chart out of the nurse’s station.” Her voice came out so small she hardly recognized it herself. “I just needed to know.”

                She caught a glimpse of sympathy flash in the older woman’s eyes. “Why would you put yourself through that? I told you, the less you know, the better.”

                “I _needed_ –”

                “That baby is not my grandson, Alice,” she said firmly. “He’s not your son and he’s not Hal’s son. He belongs to another family now. A family that can give him so much more than two senseless teenagers ever could. You need to understand what you did was for the best.” She let go of Alice’s face and let out a sigh. “Go sleep in Hal’s room if it’ll make you feel better. Just don’t make a habit of it.”

                She climbed the stairs slowly, looking at each picture that hung along the staircase. She remembered the jealously she felt the first time she ever came over, wishing her house (or second floor apartment at least) had more than just the yellowing picture of her parent’s wedding day stuck to the refrigerator. The very last picture before the top landing was from a few months ago, her and Hal at homecoming. Despite them having gone to several school dances and having dozens of pictures together, this was the first they’d ever displayed amongst their family portraits.

                The Coopers were trying, at least.

                She was taken back when she opened the door to Hal’s room. Her boyfriend was normally tidy, the kind of person who couldn’t leave a pair of shoes separated on the floor (no doubt a skill instilled in him by years of his mother looking over his shoulder). Instead, she walked around the piles of clothes thrown around the floor, stacks of books and papers spread against the carpet and desk. Even his cassette tapes were spread around the floor in front of his stereo.

                She plopped down on the unmade bed, trying to will herself back up to find something more comfortable to change into. She fell asleep before she made it that far.

 

                When Alice first arrived at The Sisters of Quiet Mercy, she told herself things were over between her and Hal. She loved him, yes, but she couldn’t be with someone who wouldn’t stick up for her baby – for _their_ baby. That first day, she decided, she’d write him a letter telling him it would be better for both of them if they parted ways.

                She woke up the next day crying because she missed him.

                And so went the next five months.

                Part of her knew it was the hormones making her so erratic. One day, Hal was the love of her life and she couldn’t imagine living without him. The next, he was that idiot who didn’t know how to pull out in time and had abandoned her with a belly full of his DNA.

                His letters didn’t help much.

                The first came her third week there, carried by his mother along with her week’s worth of school work. She read it in bed that night with shaking hands. It was written over five sheets of notebook paper, front and back. Half apologies, half stream-of-conscience. Hal was a precise writer. He never handed in anything before rereading it three times. The letter scared her.

                And they kept coming.

                Nearly every week Mrs. Cooper delivered one in a sealed envelope. Some weeks they were sad tales of his day to day life. He’d went back to his summer job at Mr. Orozco’s garage because he couldn’t take sitting around the house and seeing the disappointment on his parent’s faces. He had to get two new people on the Blue and Gold to cover her articles. He went to every football game the Bulldogs played because it was merely something to do. He even went started a habit of watching The Fredheads rehearse in Fred’s garage. _They might be awful_ , Hal had written, _but the noise drowns everything else out at least_.

                Some weeks the letters were a little better (although she expected those were the times he had it the roughest). In those, he talked about the future. Their future, he stressed, if she still wanted anything to do with him. About how they would leave Riverdale right after graduation. Pack up the Camaro and head to Albany, Boston, Philadelphia, San Francisco. Anywhere they could both go to school and start a new life together.

                Those letters made her sad because she knew the chances of any of that happening were slim to none. Pipe dreams.

                She tried to write him back several times, but didn’t know what to say. _I hate you for what you did to me_ or _Grab the money stashed in my closet and get me out of here_. Did she offer words of comfort or let him know of her own quiet misery, surrounded by nuns, troubled young ladies, and other pregnant teens?

                In the end, she never sent him a word. Let him suffer, she decided.

                She did, however, ask his mother nearly every week if he could come visit her. Without fail, Mrs. Cooper’s – _Prudence’s_ – eyes would wander down to Alice’s ever expanding belly before she spoke.

                “No, Alice. I just think that’d cause more harm than anything.”

                And that was that.

 

                The door to Hal’s bedroom banged open and Alice jumped up straight in bed with a gasp. She’d grown so accustomed to the haunting quietness of the Sister’s, even the small hospital she’d given birth in felt so loud.

                 Hal glanced at her quickly before doing a double take. His mouth fell open slightly and his backpack slowly drooped off his shoulder, falling to the floor. He shook his head slightly, taking in the sight in front of him.

                Alice rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and managed a weak smile. “Hi?”

                Hal reached behind him, trying to close the door. He finally spun around when he couldn’t find it blindly and slammed it closed. He turned back to her, walking slowly to the bed. “Hey,” he said, letting out a breath he must have been holding. He sat down cautiously on the bed. “You’re… you’re here.”

                She shoved a pillow up against the headboard so she could sit more comfortably. “I’m here.”

                “But you weren’t… for another few weeks.”

                She nodded slowly, looking down. “Well, you’re always so damn early for everything. Figures he’d be too.”

                “He?”

                She met his eyes quickly before fixing her gaze back on her lap. She resisted the urge to rub her belly. “Yeah. He.”

                “We have a son?”

                “No, Hal. Some other couple out there has a son. We don’t.”

                She let him take her hand and give it a squeeze. “Was he okay? Even so early?”

                “Yeah, he was okay. Thirty-seven weeks is full term. He was just anxious to get out I guess.”

                “Are you okay?”

                Before she even looked up at him, she felt the tears filling her eyes. “I’m fine.” Her voice came out as a squeak. “I’m _fine_.”

                Hal put his arms around her and she let her face fall against his chest. Five days since her water broke. Four since she’d given birth. A few hours back in Riverdale. She hadn’t shed a tear until now.

                His hands worked his way through her hair as he pulled her closer and she almost told him to stop. Not because she didn’t want him touching her – God, how she’d craved touch of any kind being alone for so long – but because the scentless shampoo they’d been provided with at the home left her hair feeling like hay. Just one more reason she didn’t feel like herself anymore. One more reason she no longer felt like the girl she was so many months ago.

                When her mouth opened, her sobs just came out harder.

                He pressed a kiss against the top of her head. “You can talk to me,” he whispered into her hair. “I need to know what you went through.”

                She breathed in deeply, taking in his scent that she’d nearly forgotten. Something else lingered around him. When she looked into his eyes, she noted how red they were.

                “Your eyes are bloodshot. God, are you… are you stoned?”

                He shrugged. “I am not good at… dealing with my problems. Coping. It helped. I also haven’t been sleeping much. And I knew you’d be back soon and instead of making me feel better it just made me feel more guilty. And now I feel even worse I wasn’t there when you actually gave birth. When did you…?”

                “Tuesday. Your mom didn’t tell you?”

                He shook his head. “Who was with you?”

                “One of the nuns, a couple of nurses. I was alone mostly.”

                “Was it bad?”

                She chose her words carefully before she spoke. “Whenever the doctor came to see me or another girl at the home, he wasn’t allowed to tell us anything. Just poked us a bit, asked a few questions. When my water broke, I didn’t say anything for hours because as much as I wanted out,” her voice began cracking, “I wasn’t ready to let him go. I was in labor for over a day and it’s all kind of a blur. And then he was out. He was so _loud_ , screaming at the top of his lungs.” Tears were flowing down her face again and she let her head fall back against Hal’s chest. “I knew, I just _knew_ if I could hold him for a minute he’d stop crying. He’d know I was his mother and he’d stop. But they took him right away. Didn’t even let me get a look at him. I didn’t even know if it was a boy or girl.”

                She felt something wet hit her forehead and she knew Hal was crying too.

                “My room was down the hall from the nursey and I swear I knew whenever it was him crying. He cried all the time because he didn’t have anyone there to comfort him. So the next day, I pulled out my IV and I snuck my chart out of the nurse’s station. I just needed to _know_. Then I went to find which one was him. The hospital was small, so there were only five babies in there, two boys. I knew which one was him right away. He was so tiny, Hal. So tiny. So lonely and defenseless.”

                She pulled her face away from Hal’s chest and looked him in the eye.

                “Then this man came over and he asked me which one was mine. I lied and said I was from another ward, came to see the babies because I thought they’d cheer me up. Then he points at him, points at _our baby_ and says that’s his and isn’t he a beauty and look at how big he is.” She gulped. “And I think I made a mistake for a second, but I _know_ that one is ours. He has just the tiniest bit of blonde fuzz on his head. Then his wife walks over, in normal clothes and… and…”

                “They were the ones adopting him?”

                She nodded. “The Sister’s kept telling us that what we’re doing is so selfless. How they like to adopt to barren couples and that our mistake is their miracle. Your mom told me that baby was never really ours to begin with and maybe that’s true but… but I wanted him.”

                Hal shifted so he could take her face in his hands. “I am so sorry, Alice. I wasn’t ready for this. I didn’t _want_ this. But I made such a big mistake. You needed me and I didn’t… I couldn’t be the man you needed me to be. I should have married you, but I was a coward. I know I screwed up. I screwed up so bad, but I want to do right by you. I have to do right by you. Even if you don’t want to be with me, I swear I will never let you down again. I love you. I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life.”

                A fresh round of tears began from both of them. They fell asleep not long after.

 

                The next day was Saturday and Alice insisted Hal went to work like normal.

                “Can you just drop me off at my house beforehand?” she asked him. He paused, pulling a shirt over his head. “I need to see my dad.”

                He answered her slowly. “My parents are being genuine. They want you here. I want you here.” She widened her eyes and he sighed. “Drop me off at work and take my car there then. That way you won’t have to wait for me.”

                “No, he’ll drive me back.”

                Hal shifted uncomfortably. “Wouldn’t you rather wait for me to go with you?”

                “I don’t want my dad taking out his anger on you again.”

                “And I don’t want him taking it out on _you_.”

                She fell back against his bed and stared at the ceiling. “Everything I own is in that house. Even if I stay, I can’t just lose everything. I don’t even have my purse, my school stuff.”

                He sat next to her. “Baby steps. You don’t need to go back to school on Monday. You only gave birth a few days ago.”

                “I do need to go back Monday. I have to graduate this year. I didn’t wrack my brain trying to do calculus on my own just so I could spend another year in high school.” She leaned up on her elbows. “What’s everyone been saying about me?”

                Hal bent down to tie his sneakers, a pair of ratty Reeboks he wore when working at the garage. “It doesn’t matter what they’ve been saying.”

                She grabbed his hand. “Do people know?”

                “Not exactly.” His eyes darted back and forth. “I mean, I’ve certainly heard people suggest you may have been pregnant, but it’s one of the less popular theories.”

                “Theories… as in multiple.”

                “You know people like to gossip.”

                “What’s the general consensus?”

                He pursued his lips and met her eyes. “That you were institutionalized. I told them it wasn’t true, of course. I just kind of kept everything vague.”

                Alice nodded. “FP didn’t say anything?”

                “No. He’s been kind of a pal, actually. Forcing me to go out and not be so mopey all the time and –”

                “And selling you dime bags, no doubt.”

                He took both her hands in his. “Trust me. There is no scarlet letter on your chest. No one knows.”

 

                Hal pulled up in front of her house on the Southside and double parked parallel to her dad’s old Ford pickup and the VW bus Fred and FP brought last year. _So he’s home at least._

                “I can be late for work, go in with you if you want,” he offered. She shook her head and climbed out, empty duffle bag in hand to bring some clothes back with her. She still didn’t know if the Cooper’s would be her new permanent residence, but she knew the chances of her staying with her dad tonight were slim.

                She waved Hal to leave right before she opened the gate to the chain-link fence. He gave her a weak smile as he pulled away and she knew his mind wouldn’t be on engines today. It’d be too busy worrying about her.

                Just as Alice reached the first step to the small porch, the door swung open and FP walked out, eyes glued to the ground as he lit a cigarette. He took a deep inhale as he looked up and coughed his cigarette out when he saw her.

                “Fuck,” he yelled, smacking his chest. He managed a grin when he finally collected himself and Alice felt a little uncomfortable as his eyes looked her up and down. She wore the same dress Mrs. Cooper showed up at the hospital with yesterday (an old one of Gertie’s that was too long and too wide, despite her new assets) and an old grey coat. “Am I seeing a ghost?”

                Alice forced a small smile. “Alice Smith, in the flesh.”

                FP’s voice softened and he extended his arms. “Come here.”

                In spite of herself, she let FP wrap her into a hug. Where Hal smelled like soap and newspaper ink and occasionally car oil, FP always smelled like tobacco and leather (even though he was wearing his letterman jacket, not the snake clad one hiding in the back of his closet, Alice thought he always smelled a bit like leather). He gave her a squeeze and let go when she winced.

                “Sorry,” she said. “I’m just kind of sore everywhere.”

                He nodded and his eyes traced down her body again. She realized he was doing it involuntarily. “I wasn’t thinking.”

                “Do you ever?”

                He gave her a mock punch. “Good to see those nuns didn’t break you.” She raised her eyebrow. “Too soon?”

                “Way too soon. My dad home?”

                FP glanced back at the door he had just come out of and rubbed his neck. There was tension between them when there shouldn’t be. They lived in this house together their whole lives. The Jones owned the small house and lived in the first floor apartment with Alice and her dad on the second. The Jones, obviously, knew of her father’s shady dealings with The Serpents and what he ran out of their house, but looked the other way. At least with a Serpent under their roof, they had some sort of protection in the neighborhood.

                FP sold weed for her dad. Hell, Alice herself did it for a year or so. She tried not to think of the day she told her dad she was stopping. The first day he raised his hand to her and well…

                _No_ , Alice thought, _that’s not why I’m here_.

                “Let me go up with you,” FP said, opening the door. “To be honest he’s been a little… rough these past few months.”

                She stepped into the familiar hallway. The wobbly banister leading upstairs, the chipped paint on the walls, the pile of empty boxes that always seemed to be sitting in the corner by the basement door because no one could be bothered with them.

                It smelt like something, but she wasn’t sure if it was home.

                “I’m just here to talk to him, grab some stuff.” She took two steps up before FP turned her around. With Alice on the stairs, their faces were about level.

                He spoke slowly. “You’re staying here, right?”

                She let out a breath. “The Coopers… they think it’s best if I stay with them.”

                “Allie, this is your home. I know your dad can be an asshole sometimes, but hell, that’s just how dads are. Don’t fool yourself into thinking Hal’s is any different.”

                She looked FP in the eyes. “Do you want to stay in the Southside forever?”

                He scoffed. “Of course I don’t. I’d do anything to get me and my parents out of here. But this is where we’re from.” She didn’t know exactly when he took her hands in his, but he gave them a squeeze. “You don’t just ditch your family and find a new one. If you don’t have your family, you don’t have anything.”

                “The Coopers want me there. What’s wrong with that?”

                “What’s wrong with you? They sent you away, Allie. Just because you were,” he jutted his chin at her midsection. “And why? To spare _you_ the shame? No. To spare themselves the embarrassment of the town finding out their son knocked up some Southside chick.”

                She pulled her hands out of his. “You think I wanted the whole world to know? Of course I didn’t. And I appreciate you not saying anything. And what you did for Hal when I was gone. But… but I don’t know where I belong anymore. I can at least give it a try over there.” She continued her slow descent up the stairs.

                “Yeah, well I’ll be waiting right here when you realize you’re wrong.”

                She flipped him off without bothering to turn around.

 

                They sat on the roof one night freshman year, passing a joint back and forth. It was early spring and still cold enough out for a coat. She wore her brown leather jacket and he wore his new letterman.

                “Who the hell would have thought Junior would become such a jock,” she said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. She reached over to pinch his cheek and he snapped his teeth at her like he was going to bite her finger. She laughed.

                “Yeah, well who would have thought you’d be so good at rolling?” he asked. “This is perfect. Freddy tried to roll one himself the other day and –”

                “Fred’s got big, clumsy hands,” she wiggled her fingers in front of his face, “and I’ve got little dainty ones. It helps.”

                He lightly smacked her hand down so it landed on the roof between them. He kept his hand over hers. Her eyes darted down between them, but she didn’t pull away.

                “Do you think playing football will get you out of here?” she asked in earnest. He shrugged.

                “Like what? Playing professionally?”

                “No, but maybe a scholarship to a good school?”

                “Yeah, and you can follow me and sell weed to the cheerleaders         there too,” he teased. Alice reached over with her free hand to smack him. “I’m kidding. If I could get out of here with football, you could get out of here too.”

                “How?” she asked. “I’m not good at anything. Rolling joints doesn’t count.”

                He laced his fingers through hers and her arm tensed.

                “FP,” she whispered. “What’re you doing?” He raised his eyebrow and she lifted up their intertwined hands.

                “What? We’re friends.”

                “Oh, so you go holding hands with Fred too?”

                FP laughed. “Maybe. You don’t know what we do when you’re not around.” He stuck out his tongue at her. “But no. Like you said, Fred’s hands are big and clumsy. I like your little dainty ones.”

                Alice stared at him for a few seconds before talking. “Don’t you have a date with Molly Johnson this weekend?”

                “Yeah,” he answered slowly. “So?”

                “No reason,” Alice said, pulling her hand away from his. It already felt cold without him holding it. “I just wouldn’t want your girlfriends getting the wrong idea about me.”

                “She’s not a girlfriend; we’re just going out. And what would be the wrong idea?”

                Alice stood up and smirked down at him. “That I give a shit who you’re going out with. Just want all your lady friends to know they have more to worry about between you and Freddy than you and I. Let’s go inside. It’s freezing.”

               

                She knocked once on the door on the second landing. A few seconds later a gruff voice called, “Come in.”

                Her hands shook as she opened the door, bracing herself for the long squeak that always followed. Her dad sat on their couch, a few pieces of green filling spilling out the hole on the side. He didn’t look too surprised to see her.

                “And she returns,” he grunted. He nodded to the recliner sitting to his right and she took a seat, dropping the empty duffle bag on the floor in front of her. “They kick you out already?”

                She shook her head. “No, Dad. They actually asked me to stay with them.”

                He nodded and took a sip from the rock glass on the table. If he was drinking whiskey instead of beer, she knew, business was booming.

                “So what do you want?”

                She stared at him for a few seconds, thinking of how to phrase her thoughts. “I’m sorry I let you down. What I did was irresponsible, stupid, but I think I’ve suffered enough.”

                “Oh, you suffered, huh? Because that boy didn’t want to marry some piece of Southside trash like you, so you suffered?” He let out a curt laugh. “You don’t belong over there, so you want to come back home?” She shrugged. “You let me down long before you got knocked up, Allie. You choose that boy over your old man years ago.” He sighed. “You can stay here if you want to, but things are changing.”

                She tried to keep her fists from balling up in her lap. She took a deep breath. “Changing how, Dad?”

                He leaned forward. “I am your father and you’ll respect me. No more hanging out with that Cooper boy. I suppose he’s done with you now that he’s had his fun anyway. And you’re working back with me, back with your family. Serpents take care of their own and it’s embarrassing when my own flesh and blood doesn’t want to be family anymore.

                “I’m not doing that anymore. I’m about to be eighteen. It’s too risky.”

                “Well, Allie,” he took another sip of his drink, “I just don’t know what to tell you then.”

                She fumbled picking up the bag on the floor. “I’ll just grab some of my stuff and leave.”

                He smirked at her. “Be my guest.”

                She walked through the kitchen where the door to her bedroom was. She took one deep breath after another, determined not to cry until she was safely outside. She knew she’d have to swallow her pride and ask FP for a ride now.

                She gasped when she opened the door to her room. There was a bare bedframe, a desk, and a dresser. She pulled open each drawer. All empty. She closed her eyes as she opened the door to the closet. A sob escaped her when she opened her eyes. Empty.

                Despite the pain, she ran past her father and went down the stairs. Tears were running freely down her face now. She found FP was sitting on the stairs outside.

                “He… he…” she panted when she reached him, wiping her face with the sleeves of her coat.

                “I got your stuff in the basement,” FP said. He stood up and put his arm around her, slowing walking her back inside. “My mom caught him tossing it out the day after you left.” He opened the door to the basement.

                She caught her breath. “You got everything?”

                “Pretty sure. Three garbage bags of clothes and maybe six or seven boxes.”

                “Will you bring it to the Coopers for me?”

                FP paused half way down the stairs. “Just take a few things for now. Come back and talk to him in a few days.”

                “Just bring it for me, please?”

                They got to the basement landing and Alice touched each of the garbage bags until she found the one with hangers in it. She ripped it open.               

                “A thank you would be nice. What the hell are you doing?”

                “I need my teal coat. Help me look.”

                “Alice, let’s just –”

                “Never mind. Got it.”

                She pulled the coat out, and reached into the small pocket she sewed onto the lining. She pulled out a rolled up wad of cash with a sigh of relief.

                “What the hell is that?”

                She smiled. “Squirrel fund. In case I ever really had to run away. I always hid a few bills in my sock drawer so he’d think that was my savings.”

                FP shook his head, a glint of pride in his eyes. “You’re a nut.”

                Alice fell back on her knees. “You really think it’s better for me to stay here?”

                “My parents will let you stay in our place for now.”

                “I don’t think I belong here anymore. Maybe I never did.”

                “You think you belong with the Cooper’s though?”

                “Forsythe,” she whispered. “You don’t belong here either. We were going to get out together.”

                He let out a harsh laugh that nearly made Alice jump. “Together. That’s really rich.”

                “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

                “Allie, Hal was so ready to get rid of you the second things got too real for him. You know how many times he asked me if I thought you’d take him back? I didn’t have the heart to tell him you were going to kick his ass to the curb, but hell, you love to prove me wrong, don’t you? And now you’re what? Going to live off the good graces of his perfect little family?”

                She glared at him. “You’re a real asshole sometimes. What makes you think I wouldn’t want him back?”

                “Because the Allie I grew up with didn’t take shit from anyone. Especially not some guy who knocked her up and couldn’t do the man thing about it.”

                She stood up off the floor, not bothering to wipe the dust from her clothes. “My name is Alice, not Allie. I am not the little girl you grew up with and you’re not the little boy I grew up with. People change. But trust me when I say I don’t take shit from anyone. Now either help me get this stuff back to the Coopers or don’t.”

                They stared at each other for a few seconds. FP grabbed the two bags of clothes she didn’t rip open and carried them up the stairs. When he got to the landing he turned back and looked at her. “For the record, _Alice_ , if it was me… I would have done right by you.” He left.

                Scowling, she knotted back up the last bag and followed him to the van.

 

                They kissed once and only once. Fall of junior year, party at Mary’s house. Alice was drunk and FP was high and it _just sort of happened_. Alice felt nothing.

                Felt nothing towards the kiss, of course. She herself felt absolutely sick with guilt afterwards. She told Hal on the way home.

                He white knuckled the steering wheel. They parked by Sweetwater River, only a short drive from Mary’s. He didn’t say anything for a long time and Alice wondered if she should just get out of the car and walk back to the party.

                “You always tell me I have nothing to be jealous of,” Hal said, staring straight ahead still. His voice was calm. “That he’s your friend and that’s it. I never doubted that.”

                “And you never had to,” she pleaded. “I’m being honest. That was the only time and I regret it. But at least now I know.”

                He turned to look at her and Alice saw anger flash in his eyes. His voice was low. “Now you know what?”

                She grabbed his hand on the steering wheel. “Maybe I wondered if there was ever something between him and I. Somewhere in the back of my head.”

                “Just like everyone in school always says,” he said bitterly.

                “But _now I know_. It was like kissing my brother or something.”

                Hal sighed and slumped down in his seat. “Let me take you home.”

                She dung her nails into his hand. “Yell at me.”

                “Yelling doesn’t do any good.”

                “Want to bet? It’s going to make you feel better.” He shook his head. “That’s what wrong with you. In the Southside, we scream, we yell, we air all of our grievances for the neighbors to hear and trust me, it feels fucking fantastic. That’s what’s wrong with you. You hold it all in.”

                “That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.”

                She hit his arm. “Do it.”

                He finally looked at her. “You’re really terrible to me sometimes.” She nodded and his voice picked up. “Really, what the hell is wrong with you, Alice? You picked a fight with me in front of half our class just so you could justify making out with some other guy! And not even anyone! FP fucking Jones! Someone you’ve been around your entire fucking life! Who does –”

                Alice crashed her lips against his and pulled her body across the seat to his lap. He grabbed her by the hips and they didn’t break their mouths apart until they needed air.

                “Why?” Hal panted. “Why did that get you hot?”

                She shrugged and started peppering kisses on his face. “Let me prove it didn’t mean anything. Just make love to me. It’s you I want.” He smiled at her as she climbed into the back seat, him right on her tail.

 

                Alice walked through the halls of Riverdale High on Monday morning with her head held high and Hal’s arm slung protectively over her shoulder. She forced a smile and waved at a few choice people as she walked by. When she passed Fred and Hermione outside the gym (Hermione curiously vacant of Fred’s lettermen jacket) she actually smiled for real as Hermione dropped the container of juice she was drinking with a gasp.

                She sat in the Blue and Gold office before first period as Hal went to get something out of his locker. She flipped through the last few copies of the student newspaper when someone knocked on the door. It opened before she could say anything and Mary peeked her head in.

                “Alice!” she squealed. Alice swallowed a lump in her throat as Mary ran to her and hugged her. When they broke apart she held Alice at arm’s length. “I missed you. How are you?”

                Alice let out a small laugh. “I’m great. Thanks for the letters. Sorry I never wrote back, it was just… you know.”

                 “No, no. I didn’t expect you to write back. I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you.”

                Mary’s letters had come every couple of weeks, tucked into the assignment folder from Alice’s English teacher. Mary was every teacher’s favorite student; it didn’t take much to figure out how she talked a teacher into sneaking her letters.

                 “You… you look good.” Mary gave her shoulders a squeeze and Alice noticed that, just like FP, Mary’s eyes seemed to look her up and down. She had worn an oversized sweater (complete with her beat up Doc Martens) in hopes of hiding her stretched hips and new breasts, but to no avail. Every article of clothing seemed to cling to the baby fat she’d gained.

                “Do I? I feel…” She shrugged Mary’s hands off her shoulders and wrapped her own arms around her body.

                “But you’re okay?”

                Alice closed her eyes. “Yeah, Mary. I’m great. It’s just a little overwhelming being back.”

                Mary nodded. “I get it. Everyone’s going to be so happy to see you though. Even Hermione missed you.”

                “She said that?”

                Mary tilted her head. “In so many words. You know her. Life’s no fun without a foil.”

                Alice ran her fingers through her rough hair. “Do I really look okay?”

                “Sure. Say, you know what’d be fun? Come over this weekend. We’ll have a sleepover.”

                “I have tons of school work to catch up on. It was hard to do everything without lessons. I...”

                “Alice,” Mary whispered, “you don’t need to explain yourself to me. To anyone. Wherever you went, whatever happened, it’s okay.” She pulled her back into a hug. “You’re back now. That’s what’s important, right? I’ll help you study.”

                Alice promised herself not to cry at school but she felt tears welling up in her eyes. She always considered Mary as someone who befriended her out of necessity (everyone needed friends, right?) not out of actual camaraderie. She swallowed her guilt and hugged Mary back.

                “Yeah, Mary. A sleepover sounds fun.”

 

                She brought a bag with her to school on Friday and went home in Mary’s Beatle.

                “I hope you don’t mind that I invited Hermione too,” Mary mentioned as they pulled up her driveway. Hermione was sitting on the front step with Mary’s two little brother’s ogling her. Alice groaned. “It’s just you’re really behind in calculus and you know she’s good at it.”

                The three went up to Mary’s room. Mary started pulling books out of her book bag and setting them in a circle on the floor. Alice sat at the vanity and stared into the large mirror. Mary hardly wore makeup or more or less kept her hair the same every day. She wondered if Mary’s mother was that vain herself that she’d buy something so extravagant for her plain daughter.

                Hermione plopped down on the bed after giving Alice the one-over with her eyes for what must have been the hundredth time that week. “Wait, we’re not really doing homework, are we?”

                “I told you,” Mary said firmly, “we’re helping Alice catch up.”

                “How about we watch a movie instead? Better yet, I brought a documentary with me. Documentaries are educational, right?”

                Mary smirked, hands on her hips. “What documentary did you bring?”

                Hermione gave the girls a toothy grin. “Truth or Dare.”

                “Truth or Dare is about Madonna,” Mary laughed. “That’s hardly –”

                “Do not speak ill of Madonna.” Hermione waved her finger.

                “We can watch it in the basement later. After we do some work.” Mary stood up and walked to the door. “I’m going to make us some snacks. Will you two be okay…?”

                “Geez Mare, we’re not going to implode your room just by being alone in it together.”

                “I’ll just be a few.” Mary left the door open behind her.

                Hermione roll over in the bed so she way lying on her stomach. She put her chin in her hands and smiled.

                “So quiet, Alice. What’s up?”

                The two girls locked eyes in the mirror. “Not much.”

                Hermione sighed. “Just spill. It’s going to come out eventually.” Alice shook her head. “You gained a little weight, which tells me you weren’t getting a lot of exercise. I guess they don’t let you out much when –”

                “Where do you think I was, Hermione?” Alice snapped, whipping herself around. Her long hair smacked her face. “If you think you already know, just say it.”

                Wide-eyed, Hermione swallowed. “I was just teasing you. I know you weren’t really in a crazy house.” She looked down. “Sorry,” she muttered under her breath.

                Alice turned back to the mirror. She started running her fingers through her hair. “No, you don’t have to be sorry. This is what we do, right? This is what we always do.”

                Hermione pulled herself up and sat so her feet were hanging off the end of the bed. “It doesn’t have to be.”

                “Doesn’t it though?” Alice pulled through a knot she found on the bottom of her hair. There was a large pair of scissors sitting on the vanity on top of some pieces of colored paper. “Will you do me a favor?”

                “What?”

                She grabbed the scissors by the bladed end and spun back around.  Hermione gasped when she extended them to her.

                “Oh my God, if I wanted to stab you I wouldn’t be holding them this way, bimbo”

                Hermione smirked and relaxed a little. “There she is. That’s the first I’ve heard you sound like yourself since you came back.”

                Alice ignored her comment and shook the scissors towards the other girl. “Cut my hair.”

                “No way. Those aren’t even the right scissors to cut hair.”

                “My hair is curly, it doesn’t need to be perfectly straight.”

                “I don’t know how to cut hair.”

                “You trim your hair in class all the time.”

                “I trim my split ends. I don’t mangle –”

                “I’ll just do it myself then.” Alice held a lock of hair out and put the scissors to it. Hermione jumped up.

                “Give them to me.”

                “You’re going to do it?”

                Hermione let out a frustrated sigh. “Fine. Just give them here.”

                Alice handed her the scissors and turned back around so she was facing the mirror. Hermione held the scissors about an inch from the bottom of Alice’s hair.

                “Shoulder length.” Hermione’s eyes widened. “Come on. You hate me. You’ve probably had fantasies about this.”

                Hermione placed her hand on her hip. “I don’t hate you, Pretty Woman. You’re just… annoying.”

                “Likewise. And stop calling me Pretty Woman. Hal doesn’t need to buy me expensive crap to keep me around. Sounds more like you.”

                “Oh please. You think I’d be with Fred if I wanted a guy who showered me with gifts?”

                Alice raised her eyebrow. “You’re still with Fred? I thought you had some new guy.”

                Hermione let out a huff. “It’s complicated. We’re doing this or what?”

                She nodded. “Just hurry before Mary gets back. She’ll try and talk us out of it.”

                Hermione bit her lip and moved the scissors up to Alice’s shoulders. “You’re sure? You’re not going to flip out and tell people I made you do this?”

                 “You think I’m crazy?”

                “Oh, Alice. This is Riverdale.” She made the first snip. “We’re all mad here.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to Alice and Hal in the car (and references to Alice and FP's kiss) is a small continuation of the other fic linked to this, Shifting, so check that out if you're interested.
> 
> Take a second to leave me some love.


	5. Got Me Wrong - June 1993

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Senior year is ending, adulthood is approaching and FP is not happy about any of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took longer than normal. Dealing with a million things right now and that's cutting into my writing time. This was a pretty tough one to write, so bear with me!

Got Me Wrong – June 1993

 _Wrong in a sense too far gone from love, That won’t last forever, Something’s gotta turn out right_ – “Got Me Wrong” Alice in Chains

 

                He hated the snide comments. He knew most people didn’t mean it the way they came out, but that didn’t mean they didn’t sting.

                “Bet you can’t wait to get out of this hell hole, FP.”

                “Hey Jones! Probably counting down the days until graduation.”

                “Moving on to bigger and better things, this guy!”

                He was from the bad part of town after all; he was Southside. Everyone knew those kids couldn’t help but be a bunch of burnouts. Losers. Miracle any of them graduated at all.

                Sure, he bitched about homework, waking up early, football practice on weekends. Who didn’t? It didn’t mean he didn’t like school. Hell, he _loved_ high school. He was a star football player. Popular with the girls. Played in a band. Big man on campus, if he said so himself.

                Best years of your life. Isn’t that what Bryan Adams preached?

                The problem remained – the most popular guy in high school rarely stayed the most popular guy after graduation.

 

                “Only two more weeks left of walking down these halls,” FP sighed. He leaned against a row of lockers as Fred scrambled through his own looking for something.

                “Dude, quit with the nostalgia already,” Fred scowled at him. “We’re about to graduate. I don’t need you getting all mopey on me and cry over my yearbook.”

                FP rapped his knuckles against a locker as Fred finally shut his, cramming what looked to be a bunch of loose papers into his backpack. “You’re not going to miss this place at all?”

                Fred shrugged and slung his bag over his shoulder. He gestured for FP to follow him. “I mean, I’ll miss seeing everyone. It’s going to be weird, so many people leaving Riverdale for college. And I’ll miss the band.”

                “The band isn’t over because we graduate.”

                “No, the band’s over because Chet’s going to Delaware and Burly’s got that job down in Centerville.”

                FP stopped in front of the music room and grabbed Fred by the arm. “So we replace them. It’s your goddamn band, Fred. We don’t need them.”

                Fred shifted uncomfortably and looked away. “Dude, I don’t know. We’re starting at the construction site right after 4th of July. You think we’re going to have time?”

                “What? We got to give up music just because we graduated?”

                “Just… construction is hard. Harder than football practice. My dad keeps telling me we’re going to be dead beat the first few weeks. When are we even going to have time to look for new members, much less practice?”

                “So we make time.”

                “FP, it’s not like we’re ever going to be rockstars. The band was just us messing around.”

                “Have some fucking faith, Freddy,” he said, smacking his friend on the arm with a smile. As he opened the door to the music room, soft music started spilling out. A freshman girl with short, dark hair was playing the piano in the front of the room.

                “Beat it, frosh,” FP said, tossing his bag in the corner. “We have practice for prom.”

                She rolled her eyes. “And I’m practicing for the graduation ceremony. I have the room for another five minutes.”

                “Come on, how much practice do you need to play the graduation march?”

                Fred slumped down in a desk. “Let her be. Like practice will do us much good.”

                “What’s your fucking problem, man?” The freshman shushed him and he lowered his voice, slinking down in the desk next to Fred. “You’re so fucking grumpy these past few days. Is this still about Satan?”

                “If you mean Hermione,” Fred whispered, “then yeah, maybe it is. You know I heard she wants to bring this college guy to prom? What kind of Ivy League loser wants to go to a high school prom?”

                FP let out a dramatic gasp. The girl shushed him again. “The horror. Dude, just tell her no one’s going to vote for her to be prom queen if she doesn’t go with you. Guilt her into it.”

                 Fred glared at him. “Very funny. I mean, I don’t even want to go with her. I don’t want to be prom king. I just don’t want her parading this asshole around in front of me, you know? She really has to ruin my prom by bringing _Hiram Lodge_?”

                “Okay, so stop your bitching and do the normal thing. _Ask someone else_. Like Mary.”

                “Mary’s leaving too.” Fred slumped so far down his seat he was in danger of sliding off. His voice picked up a little. “ _Chicago_. What’s Chicago have that Riverdale doesn’t?”

                “So you can’t bring Mary to prom because she’s going away to college?”

                Fred shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s like Mary was always there, you know? I really liked Hermione, but Mary and I always had this connection that I never felt with anyone else.”

                FP reached over and pinched his cheek. “I thought we had a connection.” Fred swatted him away.

                “Mary always struck me as like… the girl you settle down with. The girl who’s always there. And now she’s leaving and Hermione’s probably going to run off with this rich asshole and it’s just going to be me and you and Riverdale.”

                “And The Fredheads.”

                He let out a little laugh. “Yeah, and The Fredheads.” He sat up straight and banged his hand on the desk. “What the hell. Let me go ask Mary to prom. You think she’s going with anyone yet?”

                Mary had asked FP the day before if he or Fred was going with anyone. She said they ought to all go in a group if not.

                “Dude, she might be. Get on that.”

                Fred ran out of the music room. FP went back into the storage closet and pulled out his and Fred’s guitars and Chet’s bass. The drum kit was already set up. He sat back down and put his chin in his hands, listening to the freshman girl’s piano playing. Once she noticed, her heavy lidded eyes began darting up at him every few seconds until he finally sent her a smirk.

                “You plan on playing Bohemian Rhapsody at graduation?”

                “Waiting to see if you were going to say anything.” Her lips curled into a grin. “I’ve been playing since I was five. I don’t need to practice the graduation march.”

                “Did you even reserve the music room?”

                She shook her head. “Nah. I just come in here to play during my lunch period sometimes.”

                He’d seen her around the room a few times before, was sure he’d kicked her out before too. “It’s Gail, right?” She raised her eyebrow. “Impressed I know your name?”

                “Flattered actually.” She stopped playing for a second and met his eyes. “FP.”

                He walked around to the piano bench and took a pile of books off of it and put them on the floor. He sat down next to her. “My reputation precedes me?”

                “Everyone knows who you are.”

                “So how come I don’t know who you are?”

                “Because I’m a freshman?”

                “Small town, kid. So why don’t I know you?”

                She shrugged. “My family only moved here last year. We move a lot.”

                The door to the music room creaked as she opened her mouth to reply. Hermione stood in the doorframe and sent FP a smile. He rolled his eyes and turned back to Gail.

                “Move a lot. So you’re an army brat?”

                Hermione let out a soft cough. “Can I talk to you, FP?” she asked, forced smile on her lips. “Alone?”

                “Can’t you see I’m already talking to someone?” He winked at Gail and watched a blush climb up her cheeks.

                “I need to get going anyway.” She stood up and picked her books off the floor, keeping her head down as she walked past Hermione and out the door.

                Hermione watched her leave with a raised eyebrow, clicking the door shut as Gail left. She folded her arms over her chest and gave FP a look of disbelief.

                “She could be pretty if she toned down the eyeliner. But you do know she’s a freshman, right?”

                “Jealous?”

                To his surprise, Hermione let her shoulders slump. “Yeah, a little. She still gets three more years of this place.”

                FP let his fingers run over the piano keys quickly before he stood up and approached Hermione. “You’re going to miss high school?”

                “Aren’t you?” He shrugged and leaned against a desk near her. She fidgeted with the strap of her bag and FP tried to think of another time he saw confident Miss Hermione Nichols look nervous about something.

                “You wanted to talk?” he asked impatiently.

                She sighed. “I just saw Fred and he told me he’s asking Mary to prom.”

                “You dumped him.”

                “I did not dump Fred. We came to a mutual understanding and ended our relationship before it got messy. We’re still friends.”

                “And here I thought it ended because Fred wasn’t comfortable with you having another boyfriend.”

                FP had never had much patience or love for Hermione. He’d watched the pseudo-rich girl (sure, her father managed the largest business in Riverdale but it wasn’t like they owned it or anything) shove his best friend around for years. Making him give into her every whim and boss him around like there was no tomorrow. In turn, he watched Fred turn and do nearly the same thing to poor Mary when Hermione got bored with him. All just an endless loop of unnecessary drama he had little interest in getting involved in.

                Hermione sucked her teeth in. “Look here, _Forsythe_ –”

                “Please. I don’t think anyone named _Hermione_ should be making fun of my name.”

                “My name is Shakespeareian.”

                “And my name in a family name. Your point?”

                She took a deep breath and sighed. “I didn’t come here to fight. I came here with… with a peace offering.” She sat on the desk opposite him, dangling her feet off the side. “I know we don’t always get along.”

                “Do we ever get along?”

                “ _But_ we’re not so different. I know for a fact you’re just as bummed as I am that high school’s almost over.”

                FP mimicked her previous pose without realizing it, crossing his arms over his chest. “What makes you say that?”

                “Oh please.” She brought her lips together and FP could tell she was trying to hold in a triumphant grin. “Big Man on Campus? Your only plans after high school is what Fred has set up for you guys. You can’t very well make a career out of selling weed, so you’re going to go work construction with Fred. That’s fine and all, honest work. But is that what the most popular guy  in school is supposed to do? Spend his days tearing down drywall?”

                He glared at her. “And here I thought this was a peace offering?”

                 “It is. I don’t want to graduate either. I don’t want this to end. My plans? Work the jewelry counter at Spiffys. Like I’ve been doing my whole life. I told my parents I’d take a year off before college, but hell, I don’t know if I even _want_ to go to college.”

                “And Hiram?”

                Her eyes narrowed. “Hiram and I aren’t serious or anything.”

                “I don’t know about that. He’s coming all the way here just to bring you to prom.”

                “He’s _not_ though. I don’t know where Fred got that idea. People like Hiram get invited to the Met Ball, to Oscar parties at Johnny Depp’s house. You think he wants to go to some small town senior prom? And now Fred’s going to take Mary, and even if the girl did have a date she’d probably drop him for a night with Fred.” She took a breath. “So what about you?”

                FP laughed. “You’re not serious.”

                “I am very serious. You’re like the most popular guy in our grade. I mean, you’re crass and kind of an asshole, but people love you. Together, we’d be a shoo in for prom king and queen.”

                “You’re out of your mind,” FP said, shaking his head. “What’s the point even? Everyone votes for couples so they’re just going to vote for Alice and Hal.”

                “Of course they would, but they’re not running.”

                He felt a lump forming in his throat and tried to swallow it without Hermione noticing. “Why not?”

                “They already won homecoming and cutest couple in the yearbook. You know Alice has been trying to be little miss humble since she came back from the depths of hell or where she was hiding. I guess they just want to give someone else a chance to win something. _Our_ chance.”

                “I really don’t have any interest in being prom king.”

                She jumped off the desk and grabbed his arm. “Come on. We’ll go out with a bang. One last win before we graduate. Football captain and head cheerleader. Who _wouldn’t_ vote for us?”

                “I wouldn’t. I’ve never thought twice about this shit.”

                “FP, come on. You just have a sign an application and have one dance with me when we win. It’s not like we have to even spend the whole night together. Plus, my dad said we can borrow his BMW.” She let go of his arm and straightened the collar of his shirt. “And if all else fails, at least we’ll be the hottest pair there. Two dark haired beauties, as opposed to the blonde holy couple.” His eyes wandered away and she tugged his collar until look down at her. “Unless of course… you _want_ Alice and Hal to win. Maybe I should just tell them to run.”

                He forced out a laugh. “I don’t care what they do.”

                Her hand fell off his collar to her hip. “I get it, you know. Even though Fred and I aren’t together, I hope he has a great time with Mary. That’s the adult thing to do and we’re about to be adults, right? So even if Alice isn’t with you it’s only right that you want her to have a good time with her boyfriend, right?”

                FP’s lips curled into a smile. “And you almost had me fooled, Satan. Is this even about being prom queen or is it just some bitch move you’ve been harboring to mess with Alice?”

                Hermione threw her hands up in defense. “Look here. I’m being genuine about this deal. If we go together I have complete faith that we’ll win. And if getting you all riled up is the only way to talk you into it…”

                “I am _not_ getting riled up. There are other guys you could go with. Guys you’d still stand a chance winning with.”

                “Yes, but I don’t want to stand a chance. I want a sure thing.”

                He stared down at her, rubbing his chin. After a few seconds, he smiled. “You’re not getting laid, Nichols.”

                Hermione pulled a face. “Oh please, Jones. As if you stood a chance with me.” Her lips twitched. “But you’ll go with me though?”

                He sighed. “What the hell? Just let me run it by Freddy first. I don’t want him to get all weird about it.”

                “Fred will be thrilled Hiram’s not going,” Hermione said, pulling a piece of paper and pen from her purse and handing it to him. “He won’t care, so just sign right here. You’re not going to regret this. I’m an excellent date.”

                He signed the paper and handed it back to her. “You’re poor company normally, so prove me wrong.”

                She smiled down at the paper. “I’ll go hand this in to Sierra. Thanks, FP.” She hiked her purse over her shoulder and turned to the door. She turned back around with her hand on the knob. “One last hurrah, right? A few weeks and you, me, and Freddy might be the only ones left in this damn town.”

 

                Prom was the complete opposite of the shit show that had been homecoming. FP and Hermione won king and queen (by a landslide, no less). Fred accidently flipped his guitar off the stage, much to everyone’s amusement. Alice and Hal never left the dance floor, slow dancing to every song that came on, noses pressed up against one another with smiles the entire night. (For the first time ever, he and Hermione agreed on something - the two of them could be absolutely sickening when they were acting so cutesy.) Mary cried happy tears and hugged everyone two or three times, saying she needed to get it out of her system before graduation, less she cry during her valedictorian speech.

                Mary being valedictorian was written in the stars. Same for a girl like Hermione being prom queen. For a guy like Fred being class clown. For the ever so perfect Alice and Hal to be cutest couple with their picture forever smiling in the Class of ’93 yearbook.

                For guys like FP to be the guy forcing a smile when he was crowned prom king. When he was handed a diploma so many people probably thought he’d be too lazy to ever earn.

                Be happy, live in the moment, he wanted to tell himself. But every time something good happened to him all he could think of was how fleeting all those moments were.

 

                “We did it man!” Fred handed FP a plastic cup of beer and tossed his arm around his shoulder.. “We are done.”

                FP took a sip before toasting Fred. “Yeah, Freddy. We did it. Now just a few more weeks until we’re part of the daily grind.”

                Bonfires at Sweetwater River. Night after graduation. No better way than to commemorate the beginning and end of each school year. FP swallowed his grief that this would be their last one.

                “Hey. I know we talked about this before but you’re going to quit dealing, right?”

                His eyes shot to Fred’s and Fred took his arm off. “Of course. You know that. Can’t keep that shit up once you have a real job.”

                “Right. Right. And working won’t be so bad. And after a few months we’ll have enough saved up that we can move out, get our own place.”

                FP’s eyes scanned the woods. He saw Alice talked animatedly with Mary on the other side of the fire, Hal nowhere to be seen. It had been months, but it was still weird seeing her with her hair only down to her shoulders. Every so often, he’d caught her running her fingers through it, trying to hide the bit of surprise when she reached the end so soon. It wasn’t something many would pick up, but he’d be damned if he’d miss it.

                “…are you even listening?”

                He shook himself back to Fred. “What’d you say?”

                “I said that freshman is over there looking at us. You know, the one who’s always around the music room?”

                “Gail?” He spotted her a few feet away. She was talking with one of Mary’s little brothers, but her eyes were fixed on him. She smiled. “I’ll be right back.”

                FP approached the two freshmen and slung his arm around Brandon. “Do me a favor and beat it, frosh.”             

                Brandon’s eyes widened and he nodded. Mary’s little brothers were always a little intimidated by him. He pulled himself away from FP’s grip and walked away. FP turned his attention back to Gail.

                “Hey there, army brat.”

                She bit her lip and raised her cup to her lips. It was still mostly full and he had the feeling she was only holding it to blend in. “Army brat?”

                “You said you move a lot. I just figured…”

                Gail shook her head. “No. My dad’s been teaching at John Adams College in Greendale this past year. Next year it’s more of the same or off the next college that needs his specific area of expertise.”

                “Which is?”

                “American Studies. Specifically, he likes to find really peculiar small towns and write about them. He’s been studying fifty years of maple syrup trade in Riverdale, but it’s not really going as well as he’d like.”

                FP felt his face break out into a grin. “Your dad studies maple syrup?”

                “No,” she laughed. “American Studies. He just finds these little niche things he thinks are interesting for his research. Like why is Blossom Maple Syrup shipped as far as Montreal when there are tons of other…” She closed her eyes and laughed. “You know, now that I say it out loud, it really does sound ridiculous.”

                “Your dad teaches this stuff?”

                “Sort of. If they come up in his lectures.”

                He took her arm gently and walked her to towards the bonfire where a bunch of logs were set up for people to sit. That sat down next to each other, Mary and Alice a few feet behind his back.

                “I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect to see you here. You don’t seem like a party girl. And not many freshmen come to these things.”

                “My brother was coming so I just caught a ride with him.”

                “Oh? Who’s your brother?”

                She took a sip of her beer and pulled a face when she swallowed. He took the cup from her.

                “You don’t need to drink this to impress me. I can drink for the both of us.” He took a sip out of her cup and another from his own. She smiled at him again. “So your brother someone I know?”

                “I guess you do. He plays football too. Nathan.”

                Nathan Cohen had been a junior on the varsity team with him. “So Gail Cohen then?”

                She bit her lip again and looked up at him though her hooded eyes. Damn did he wish she was a little older. “Yeah, lets go with that.”

                “So Gail, when’s your birthday?”

                “You can just ask how old I am, FP.”

                “I’m not asking that. I’m asking when your birthday is.”

                She looked down at her feet. “August.”

                His stomach dropped. “So in August you’ll be… sixteen?” She shook her head. “Seventeen?” he asked hopefully. She raised an eyebrow. “Okay. So you’re still fourteen.”

                She scrunched up her face. “Sorry. I told you I was a freshman. I just happen to be one of the younger freshmen.”

                He nodded. “I get it. I mean, shit, now I’m really glad I took this beer from you. It’ll stunt your growth.” He took another sip from each cup and watched her bite her lip.

                “I should really go find my brother and get going.” She went to stand up and he put his hand on her knee to stop her, thankful she was wearing jeans instead of a skirt.

                “Hey, we can still be friends, right?”

                “Actually, I don’t know if we’re staying in Riverdale. I told you, my dad doesn’t know if his research is going anywhere and if he gets a better offer…”

                “Then you guys leave. I get it.” He downed the rest of his cup. “Well, this sucks.”

                She nodded. “I really have to get going though.”

                “Can I call you? You know, as a friend?”

                “Sure. We’re in the phone book.” She stood up and dusted off the back of her jeans. “Bye, FP Jones. Maybe I’ll see you.”

                “Bye Gail Cohen. I will definitely see you again.”

                Before she was even out of his sight, he heard Alice.

                “God, FP. She’s a freshman.”

                He got off the log and walked the few feet to Mary and Alice. Fred was standing with them now.

                “She’s a nice girl, Alice. We were just talking.”

                “She _is_ a nice girl,” Alice retorted with a laugh. That nice laugh. She held a near empty cup loosely by the rim. He hadn’t seen her and Hal at a party since the beginning of the school year and, judging by her slurred words, this was probably the first time she’d drank since then. “She spent half of last summer hanging around the library reading every Stephen King book we had. She’s one of those quiet ones that’re probably a little nutty, but well intentioned. But come on. She is _way_ too young for you.”

                “Yeah, well I don’t really care what you think about girls I talk to.”

                “Psssh.” She laughed again and took a step towards FP. She stumbled a bit and Mary grabbed her to stop her from falling.

                “I think you’ve had enough,” Mary said, taking the cup from Alice’s hand. Alice pulled herself out of her grip.

                “I’m _fine_ , Mary. Geez. Can everyone stop treating me like I’m so goddamn delicate?”

                “Delicate? You?” FP laughed. “No one’s making that mistake.”

                Alice let out a frustrated sigh and took another step so she was only an arm’s length away. “Why are you being such an asshole?”

                “Why are you being such a bitch?”

                A couple low whistles came from around them. No one besides Fred and Mary was next to them, but their voices raised enough to turn some heads.

                Alice’s voice came out low. “You’ve been an asshole to me since I came back.”

                He talked slow and kept his voice level. “I don’t even see you anymore Allie, so when exactly am I being an asshole to you? You move to the nice part of town and you act like you’re too good for me.”

                “I don’t!” she yelled. She took a breath and lowered her voice again. “I do not act like I’m too good for anything. You’re trying to punish me because I got away and you didn’t. Because you’re too lazy to do anything useful with your life.”

                Words played on his tongue that he knew would sting. He swallowed them. “You got out or you ran away? How’d it feel to swallow your pride and live off someone else’s good grace?”

                “Stop saying that,” she said through grit teeth. She shoved his shoulder lightly. Mary made a move to walk towards them and Fred pulled her back. “You had so much potential and you just want to waste it. You could’ve gotten a football scholarship and gone to school. Gotten away from the Southside. Away from _Riverdale_.”

                “Do you ever think maybe my dreams aren’t as shallow as yours? That I don’t need a fucking house in the suburbs to be happy?”

                She scoffed and folded her arms over her chest. “No, FP. You don’t need any of that. Your dreams are to sell weed for a shit biker gang for the rest of your life. You don’t even know how to ride a fucking motorcycle!”

                A few chuckles. He glanced around and realized a small crowd had started to form with them in the center. He raised his voice.

                “And your dreams? To marry up? How very feminist of you, Allie. You have ridiculously high standards considering the trash you come from.”

                He watched her swallow a lump in her throat. She leaned in towards him and spoke in a low, venomous tone. “Do you know what you are, Forsythe? You are a _dead end_. You’re sad about high school ending because this is where it ends for _you_. You peaked. I’d love nothing more than to see you in twenty years, telling your fucking bar buddies about how you were a hero for winning some Goddamn football game no one ever thought twice about but you.” She leaned in so their faces were inches apart. He looked down at her. “It was never going to be you –”

                “That’s enough.” Alice’s face came away from him and he saw Hal pulling her back. “Just let it go, Alice.”

                She ran her fingers through her hair and nodded. Hal put his hand on the small of her back and started walking her away. FP laughed.

                “That’s it, Allie. Run away from your problems because that’s the easy way out. Just, hell… g _ive them up_.”

                Alice turned on her heel. “Shut up, FP.”

                “Oh, Allie. You’re in no _condition_ to be telling me what to do. I know you think you’re some ruined woman now and you just have to stay with Hal to save your reputation –”

                “Stop it, man,” Hal said. He stood behind Alice with his hands on her shoulders. “You’re both drunk. Just leave her alone before you both say things you regret.”

                FP laughed and shook his head. “Come on, Hal. Don’t be an idiot. You ever wonder why she stayed with you after everything you put her through?” He took a step closer to them and saw Hal’s grip tighten on Alice. “It never occurred to you that maybe that baby wasn’t even yours?”

                Gasps. Ten. Twenty. Maybe even fifty of them. FP glanced quickly over his shoulder. He nearly forgot they had an audience.

                “Fuck you,” Hal whispered. “You and her? Like I’d believe that for a second.”

                FP let out a harsh laugh. “Not me, man. But my bedroom was right under hers. Paper thin walls.” He stepped closer to them. Alice was glaring daggers while he swore Hal actually looked a little scared. “But you know, her dad is anything but quiet –”

                He hit the ground before he could even put together that Hal shoved him. Fred jumped in front of Hal before he got an actual punch.

                “Just leave guys,” Fred pleaded with them. “It’s not worth the fight.”

                Alice stood in the same place, mouth agape, eyes fixed straight down. Her face was somewhere between shock and disgust.

                “Alice, lets go.” Hal tugged her by the hand.

                 She looked down at FP, slowly shaking her head. Fire flashed in her eyes. He thought for a moment she was going to jump on him, attack him like she did to Hal at homecoming. Instead, she spit near his feet.

                “Fuck you, FP,” she said, voice steadier than he’d heard her all night. She let Hal pull her away.

                “Show’s over!” Fred yelled. “Break it up!” He shooed away the crowd of people and reached his arm down to help FP up. Fred let go of him as soon as he was on his feet and gave him a small shove. “What the _fuck_ was that about?”

                He looked around. The only people left of the crowd were Mary and Hermione. Mary had both hands over her mouth and seemed to be looking anywhere except at him. Hermione was wide-eyed staring at him, one hand gripping Mary’s arm.

                “That was so fucked up,” she said in a hushed whisper.                

                “Which part?” Fred asked under his breath.

                “All of it!” Hermione exclaimed. A few people turned to look at them and Hermione flipped them off until they looked away. “Like holy shit. Alice was _pregnant_?”

                Mary let her hands slide off her face. “That… actually makes a lot of sense. If she was a bit along already and she was gone for five months…”

                “Not to mention how different she looks. I mean, I thought she finally picked up a Wonder Bra, but you cannot fake those hips.”

                “ _Don’t_ ,” Mary hissed. “Geez, Hermione. This isn’t something you joke about.”

                “Who’s joking?” Hermione snapped. Mary rarely talked back to her and he could tell it took Hermione by surprise. “He’s the asshole who just announced her whole secret to the entire school.”

                “What about her dad?” Fred muttered. His eyes were closed and he was rubbing his temple. “What the fuck was that about?”

                FP folded his arms and looked up at the sky, half blocked out by the trees. When he looked back down, Fred was giving him an incredulous look. “Well?”

                “Don’t fucking look at me like that, man,” he sighed. “You look like your dad.”

                “FP,” Fred whispered. “Why? Why would you –”

                “I don’t fucking know!” FP shouted. He swallowed his anger and tried to level his voice. “She was pushing my buttons. I… I didn’t mean anything about her dad. It was a joke. I mean, the baby and stuff was real, but the rest.”

                “What kind of joke is that?” Mary asked softly. “You know how shitty things are with her dad.” She bit her lip and looked away from him.

                He shrugged and looked down at his feet, kicking some loose dirt around. The four stayed silent for a few seconds. When FP looked up, only Hermione met his eyes. She shook her head a bit in disgust. Fred and Mary, the two people in his life he always relied on to be on his side, wouldn’t look at him. FP felt his stomach sink, as if he was burning his last bridges in this town.

                “I’ll go catch up, apologize.”

                “No!” the other three yelled in unison.

                “You’re only going to make things worse,” Mary said.

                “How can I possibly make this worse?” he asked.

                “Not tonight,” she muttered. “Don’t tempt fate.”

                “Although you should definitely do it before they leave,” Hermione said.

                “Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to do.”

                “No, before they leave for Boston.”

                FP had taken tons of hits on the football field. Hell, he’d even just taken Hal knocking him over just then with little consequence. However, Hermione’s words took the wind right out of him.

                “Boston? Alice didn’t get into Emerson.”

                Mary sighed. “She was waitlisted. They sent her an acceptance letter two days ago.”

                “Plus, she was going to Boston, without or without getting accepted,” Hermione chimed in. “She was following Hal.”

                FP shook his head. “This is insane. I need to get home.”

                Fred sighed and clapped him on the back. He met his eyes and it broke FP a little how betrayed his best friend looked. “I’ll drive.”

                As they walked away from the girls (“She had a baby. I still can’t wrap my head around it.”), Fred shoved his hands in his pockets with a dramatic thrust. He kept side glancing at FP.

                As they started walking through the dirt lot, FP said, “Just say what you need to say, Fred.”

                “You’re a real asshole sometimes. A _real_ asshole. Alice left and it sucked. And I guess this whole time you knew and you didn’t tell me and that’s fine, I get it. It makes sense now why Hal was all fucked up, why Alice was so different. But it wasn’t your story to tell and now everyone knows.”

                “Yeah, I fucked up. Can’t very well fix it now besides apologize.”

                When they reached the van, Fred put his hand on FP’s shoulder and looked him in the eye. “I’m only going to ask you this once. Just be honest with me. I trust you.” He took a deep breath. “Are you in love with Alice?”

                “No,” FP said firmly, looking Fred square in the eye. Fred let his gaze linger for a few seconds before letting go of his shoulder.

                “Because they’ve been together over three years and you never really said or did anything besides, you know, the normal giving Alice shit for this or that. Teasing her and whatnot. But since she’s been back you’ve been so different.”

                “Man, I told you. I’m just sad about school ending.”

                “Hey, it’s okay if you’re in love with her.”

                “I said I’m not and I’m not,” he snapped. “Drop it.” He pulled open the door of the VW bus and jumped into the passenger side.

                “Right.” Fred got in the driver’s seat. As they maneuvered through the lot, they passed Hal’s Camero. Hal leaned against the car and Alice leaned against him, her face buried in his chest. When Fred slowed the van down, Hal glared and shook his head. Fred nodded and picked up speed, leaving the river.

                “I guess she doesn’t want to go home crying,” Fred muttered.

                FP laughed. “That place isn’t her home.”

                Fred gave him a curt nod. “Sure.” He rapped his knuckles against the steering wheel. “Just give her some time?”

                “No time, Fred. They’re leaving.” He sighed, letting his head fall back against the passenger seat. “Just you and me and Riverdale, Freddy.”

                Fred waited a second before responding. “And The Fredheads.”

                FP let a small grin come out. “And the Shaggin’ Wagon.”

               

 

                Freshman year, they rode their bikes everywhere. Back before anyone had a license or a car, they didn’t have much choice. The ride to from Riverdale High to the Southside was by no means short, but it went quick when they were together.

                Alice, despite her shorter legs, was always a better bike rider. She just had more stamina, could ride circles around him as he huffed and puffed up hills. She waited around after school three days a week for him during football season just so neither of them would have to ride home alone.

                Maybe he just took for granted that Alice would always wait around. Stupid him.

                Hal Cooper came around towards the end of freshman year. Sure, he’d gone to school with them all these years, but it wasn’t like he was someone FP ever really talked to or thought twice about. Until he had to go open his mouth and tell Alice what a nice laugh she had.

                Much to her annoyance, Fred and him laughed for a good while after Alice told them he’d whispered that in her ear during English class one day. It sounded so ungodly lame. She had a _nice laugh_.

                But apparently, that was all it took to hook a girl like Alice Smith.

                “So he’s your boyfriend or something now?” FP asked her as them rode home after school on a Monday. “You took off with him during the football game on Friday.”

                Alice knocked on his door twice on Saturday and once on Sunday. He’d ignored her every time, trying to figure out why he was so ticked off.

                She slowed her pedaling so the two were level. When he glanced sideways at her there was a small smile on her face. “Not a boyfriend. Just… something.”

                “Oh, _something_ ,” FP teased. It wasn’t jealously he was feeling. Just annoyance. He hadn’t been called up to play, just being a freshman, but what if it had? Better to cover it with humor than pick a fight. Fights weren’t easy to win with Alice. “Like what?”

                She bit her lip, trying to keep the smile down. “He kissed me, after the game. We were walking through the parking lot and some seniors were blasting The Smiths out of their car…”

                She talked the rest of the ride home about a kiss that was, no doubt, five seconds long and probably more sloppy and awkward than she cared to admit. But he listened, nodded, gave the occasional grunt when called for.

                “…he’s just real sweet, you know? I never met a boy like him before.”

 

                FP called the Cooper’s house the next morning. Hal hung up as soon as he heard it was him.

                He waited an hour, hoping Hal had work or that Alice was lurking around the phone, and tried again. Hal told him to fuck off.

                Fred still had the van from dropping him off last night, so he pulled his old bike from the yard and pedaled all the way to Elm Street. Hal opened the front door and stepped onto the porch before FP even made it to the top step.

                “Can’t you take a hint?” he asked. His tone was more annoyed and tired than it was angry. “She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

                “Well I need to talk to her before you take her away.”

                “I’m not taking her away,” Hal said through grit teeth. “We’re leaving. We made this choice together and I know you don’t think you’re going to change her mind.”

                FP smirked and he swore Hal’s eye twitched when he did. “So you’re afraid I could change her mind?”

                Hal sized him up. FP was taller by a smidge, but Hal was broader. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Just leave. Don’t embarrass yourself.”

                He nodded slowly and walked back to his bike. He glanced back at the house once and swore he saw a flash of blond hair in an upstairs window.

                When he got home, his dad was lying on the couch watching Days of our Lives.

                “Hey Junior,” his dad called. “Be a sport and get me my pill. Your mom forgot this morning.”

                His dad had messed up his back years ago at work and been on disability ever since. He’d been popping pain pills ever since too. He knew perfectly well his mom never forgot to give his dad his medication before leaving for work, but he shrugged it off and fetched the bottle out of his mom’s hiding place (in an empty box of cake mix on the top shelf in the kitchen). At least his dad wasn’t a drinker, like Alice’s dad.

                He passed his dad the pill and a glass of water. He nearly coughed it up, refusing to sit up all the way when he took a sip.

                “You’re a good kid, Junior.” He passed him the cordless phone from the coffee table. “You just missed a call. It was Allie.”

                The phone fell from his grip. “You sure?”

                “You think I don’t know Allie when I hear her? I thought she wanted your mom, she should know she’s at work right now, but she wanted you. She said to meet her at Pop’s at midnight and that it’s not a suggestion.” He raised his eyebrow before turning his attention back to his soap opera. “You should know better than to piss that girl off.”

                He tried digging his nails into the hard plastic of the phone. “Hey, she hasn’t stopped by, has she?”

                “Nah. Calls for your mom at least once a week though.”

                “Really?”

                “Course she does. What’d I just say? Known that girl since she was born. You think she’d just forget about us?” He sighed and sat up to take another sip of water. “I know you and your mom are still pissed, but I don’t blame that girl for staying away.” His voice dropped to a whisper and he pointed his thumb to the ceiling. “Piece of shit like that for a father, I’d never come home either.”

                “Rodger isn’t the worse guy in the world.”

                His dad eyed him. He’d been selling weed for Rodger Smith for almost three years. His parents never breathed a word about it, but they knew. Of course they knew.

                “You got a future, Junior. Don’t fuck it up by staying around a guy like that for too much longer.”

 

                His heart sped up when he saw the Camaro in the near empty parking lot. Alice sat alone inside though, untouched glass of cherry cola in front of her. She ran her fingers over the edge of the glass as she waited for him to sit down.

                “You sneak away okay?” he asked. She rolled her eyes.

                “I didn’t sneak out. I told Hal I needed to meet you at Pop’s and I took the keys.”

                “He let you?”

                “I’m not a prisoner. Hal isn’t controlling me. No one in that family is. They’re being gracious hosts.”

                FP let out a triumphant grin. “Hosts? So you admit it’s not your home.”

                “Of course it’s not. Which is why Hal and I are going to make our own home. Away from here.”

                “In Boston.”

                “First Boston, yeah. Then who knows? As long as we’re together.”

                “As long as you’re – after everything he did to you?”

                She sighed. “We went through something terrible. It could have broken us apart, but instead it just brought us closer. Made us stronger.”

                “That’s sick. And now he’s whisking you away from your family and fri –”

                Alice slammed her fist on the table. “Stop making Hal the bad guy here. Do you know me at all? Do I listen to anyone who ever tells me what to do?”

                He shook his head. “No Allie, you tell them what to do.”

                “Damn straight. And for the last time, it’s not Allie.”

                “Yeah, Alice.” He rubbed his face and slumped in the booth. “ _Alice_. Shit. I’m so, so sorry for what I said. That was out of line.”

                “No shit.”

                “Getting pregnant and all that, I had no right. I only even knew by accident and it was none of my business in the first place. And that stuff with your –”

                “Don’t,” she whispered, pointing her finger at him. Her eyes were brimming with tears and voice was cracking. “Don’t you dare. I have no idea where that came from, how you could insinuate…” She grabbed a napkin and dabbed her eyes. “Like people don’t think we’re trash enough. Like everyone doesn’t already know my dad is this drunk drug dealer. Now make them think even worse about us.” She shook her head. “You can be downright cruel sometimes. You know that?”

                “So can you,” he said softly. She let her napkin fall to the table and scoffed.

                “I am sorry I told the word you’re a dead end, but I don’t take it back. You were given a gift. Football. Instead of doing something, you wasted it. And you’re eighteen. You can’t sell weed anymore.”

                “Why not?”

                Her eyes widened. “You told Fred you were stopping. You lied to him?” He shrugged. “Look, you get in trouble, get arrested, you’re tried as an adult now and you will go to jail. You can’t do it anymore.”

                He pulled himself up and leaned against forward across the table. “You don’t know shit about what we do.”

                “Yes I do,” she hissed. “He’s pushing harder stuff now, my dad, isn’t he?” FP stared at her. “Thought so. You want to end up in jail? Have fun. Prove me right. That you’ll never amount to more than a low grade criminal.”

                “You always love being right.”

                She swallowed and tears started streaming down her face again. “How’d we get here, Forsythe?”

                He shrugged, reaching across the table and pulling her untouched soda to himself. He took a sip. “You chose another life over me.”

                “No, I chose a boy that wasn’t you. Hell, I didn’t even choose him over you. It was always him.”

                “Stop flattering yourself. I’m not in love with you.”

                “Maybe not, but you do love me, just like I love you. But your love is selfish if you can’t stand seeing me with another guy.” She started sliding out of the booth and he grabbed her hand. “What?”

                He opened and closed his mouth, trying to think of the right words. They didn’t come out as meaningful as they sounded in his head. “Maybe I thought it’d be me one day, you know? Us?”

                She gave him a quick nod. “I understand. But you can't make me feel guilty over not feeling the same way.” She took his hand and gave it a squeeze before letting go. “I need to get going.”

                “Yeah, well, bye. Enjoy Boston. See you if you ever come back.”

                “We’re not leaving until August.”

                “Bye Alice.”

                She tightened her lips. “Good bye, FP.” She picked up her purse, but paused before turning away. “Gladys.”

                “Huh?”

                Alice didn’t turn back until she was already at the door. “The freshman. Her name isn’t Gail. It’s Gladys.”

                He followed her to the door. “Then why have I been calling her Gail?”

                When she answered, he caught a glimpse of the little girl he grew up with dancing in her eyes. She loved making him look the fool. “She’s probably getting a laugh out of you getting her name wrong. Mister popular going after a freshman and making himself look like an idiot in the process. It made me laugh.” She pat his shoulder and pushed the door open. “See you, FP.”

                He watched as she pulled out of the parking lot in her boyfriend’s car. He wondered if he should spend the next two months avoiding her or soaking up all the Alice he could before she was out of his life for good.

                Or maybe, just maybe, he’d look up Cohen in the phonebook in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left! I know this fic doesn't have the biggest following, but I'm so proud of myself for actually seeing this one through and getting it done. Once I get this last chapter out this will be the first complete multi chapter I've written in longer than I care to admit. 
> 
> Anyway, leave me some love!


	6. Badlands - August 1993

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fred tries to enjoy the last bit of his carefree life before everything changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I actually finished this. I'm beyond proud of myself. First and foremost, I appreciate EVERYONE who's taken the time to read this not-so-popular-time-period fic, but I need to give a particular shout out to my girl Cara (weheartscorose). She has been my number one fan during this and without her, I really don't know if I ever would have had the encouragement to continue! Love you girl!

 Badlands – August 1993

 _Talk about a dream, Try to make it real, You wake up in the night, With a fear so real, Spend your life waiting, For a moment that just don't come_ – “Badlands” Bruce Springsteen

 

                Times they were a changing.

                He didn’t know why he figured things would stay the same forever. That things don’t have to necessarily change as you got older. They lived in the most perfect place in the world. A town with everything you could ever need while still remaining quaint. The epitome of small town America. Who’d ever want to leave if they didn’t have to?

                He watched his friends pack their bags, cram their cars full with however many tokens from home they could fit. _If you want to leave so bad_ , he thought, _why try and take it all with you?_

                Riverdale was safe. Riverdale was home. You could live here your whole life and want for nothing. His parents had done it and so many others. He was content in his town, in his safe little bubble of a time once forgotten. Sure there was the whole big world out there. Chicago, New York, Boston, LA. But who needed those places when you had the best burgers and shakes in the world at Pops? When the Bijou finally got air conditioning and the Twilight played classic films four nights a week. When you could see the sun rise in all its beauty if you got to Sweetwater River just before dawn.

                Yeah, maybe Riverdale wasn’t exactly heaven on Earth, but it was damn well close enough for him.

 

                “What’s on the agenda for today?” Fred said, opening the door of Pop’s and gesturing Mary in. It was a Saturday. Fred had always been the kind of person to live for the weekend and becoming a working man didn’t change that at all. In the few weeks since he’d started working construction, he felt like his muscles had been ripped apart. Football practice was nothing compared to physical labor. (Although Fred did have a sneaking suspicion that had he actually lifted some weights while in school, he might have gotten better at playing.)

                “Breakfast for starters,” Mary smirked, walking past him. “Isn’t that why we’re here?”

                “On me, of course,” he said, letting the door close behind him. “I owe you for the ride.”

                “Fred, you know I don’t mind driving.”

                “I invited you out today. You shouldn’t have to usher us around. And you have a long drive coming up. Shit, there he is.”

                Fred nodded at FP and Gladys sitting on one side of a booth. FP spotted them and waved them over.

                “Are you guys waiting for someone else?” Mary asked, unsurely, looking at the empty side of the table. FP shook his head, mouth full of fries, and gestured them to sit. Gladys was leaned up against the small part of wall with her feet on the booth and knees pulled up to her chest, a worn paperback sitting open in front of her on the table and a plate of fries between the two. Fred slid into the booth first and Mary followed.

                “Hey, thanks for dropping the van off last night, buddy,” Fred said, leaning across the table to steal a fry. “I had to ride my bike all the way to Mary’s.”

                FP grinned. “That’s funny. I don’t remember saying I’d drop it off last night.”

                “You implied it when you said you _just_ needed it for your date.”

                “I have a date today too.” He nodded at Gladys and she smiled. “She’s leaving Monday, Freddy. We’re just trying to get all the time we can in together before then.”

                “Sorry Fred,” Gladys said with a halfhearted pout.

                “Oh, it’s not you,” Fred said sarcastically. “It’s obviously me. A lifetime of friendship and you’d think I’d learn by now to never trust a damn word out of this guy’s mouth. Are you eating fries for breakfast?”

                “I already finished my burger. And don’t change the subject. I am one of the most honest guys you’ll ever meet. Right Mare?”

                “So you had a burger and fries for _breakfast_?”

                Mary let out a laugh. “What do you want, Fred? It’s busy, I’ll just go order at the counter.”

                “Western omelet with a side of bacon. And coffee.”

                “Coming right up.” She slid out of a booth and Fred let out a sigh.

                “Last week of Mary?” FP asked.

                Fred nodded. “Last week of Mary. Then off to all the ritz and glamour that Chicago has to offer.”

                Gladys shook her head. “I’ve been to Chicago. It’s not all that.”

                “Freddy and I are two lowly Riverdale boys who’ve never made it past Centerville,” FP said, snaking his hand around her neck to pull her face closer. “Every place is hyped up to us.” He leaned in and kissed her.

                Fred rolled his eyes involuntarily. He heard a small noise of disapproval come from Mary’s throat as she sat back down a moment later. As the two looked up at her, she quickly put on a smile. “What’re you reading?” she asked, looking at Gladys’ book. She picked it up sheepishly, blush creeping up to her cheeks.

                “Oh, FP told me how much he loves the movie The Shining. I’ve been reading the book to him.”

                “Poor guy,” Fred said quickly. “I know I’ve seen him carry books around, bring them to class, store them in his locker. But I’m pretty sure I’ve never actually seen him _read_ one. Not even sure he knows how to.”

                FP flipped him off with a grin. “Bite me, Freddy.”

                Fred gasped. “Not in front of the ladies.”

                “You wouldn’t believe how different the book is. There’s not even a damn hedge maze. Just a bunch of topographs.”

                “What the hell is a topograph?” asked Fred.

                “You know. Those bushes shaped like animals and stuff.”

                “I think you mean topiaries,” Mary chimed in.

                “No, I definitely mean topographs. Right babe?” FP turned to Gladys.

                “It’s topiaries,” Gladys said with a shake of her head. She put her book down, eyes fixed on the tabletop. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

                “Hey, we’ll head out soon.”

                “Oh, where are you two going?” Mary asked.

                “We’re going to go see Jurassic Park,” Gladys answered as FP got up to let her out of the booth.

                “We all saw it together last week though.”

                “What can we say?” FP smiled as he pulled Gladys up. “We’re movie buffs.” He kissed her quickly again and sat back down as he watched her walk to the bathroom. His smiled dropped as soon as she was out of earshot. “Okay, Mom, Dad. What is it now? She thinks you guys don’t like her.”

                 Mary pressed her lips together tightly and shook her head. Fred sighed.

                “We do like her. It’s just you guys are just getting really… close. Spending a lot of time together.”

                “Her family’s leaving for Toledo in two days and I’ll probably never see her again. What’s wrong with spending time together when we can?”

                Fred glanced sideways at Mary. Her lips were still pursed. “She’s just a lot younger than us, man.”

                FP looked between the two of them solemnly. “We’re not sleeping together.”

                “Yet,” Mary said under her breath.

                “What was that?”

                Mary leaned over the table and kept her voice low. “You haven’t had sex with her _yet_. She just turned fifteen and no offence, FP, but you’re not exactly the type to let something you like… you know.” She looked at Fred for help. He shrugged.

                “Move to Toledo without nailing it first?” he tried. Mary smacked his arm.

                “Let something you like get away.”

                FP rolled his eyes and shoved another fry in his mouth. “I do have some ethics. All we do is kiss and you know, most clothes stay on. You think I want to go to jail or something?”

                “Western omelet?” the waitress asked. She gave FP a dirty look as she placed the plate down in front of Fred and put a hot fudge sundae in front of Mary.

                Mary shook her head as she dug her spoon into the ice cream. “FP, it’s just that a few weeks ago you said clothes stay on. Now you’re saying _most_ clothes. What’s that consist of? Boxers, bras, and panties? That’s a whole different world than all clothes stay on.”

                “Huh?” Gladys stood next to their table with a puzzled expression, her face red.

                FP put back on his smile and jumped up. “Don’t worry about it, babe. Lets get going.” He grabbed her book off the table and blew kisses at Fred and Mary. “Mom, Dad, don’t wait up tonight!” He grabbed Gladys by the hand and pulled her out of the diner.

                “Wait up?” Fred asked. “It’s only 10 am.” Mary craned her neck to look out the window past him. He could just make out the VW bus on the far end of the parking lot and saw the two climb inside. Mary sighed.

                “Tell me why I feel personally responsible for keeping that girl’s virginity intact?” she asked, tearing into her sundae with some ferocity.

                “Mare?” She looked up with her eyebrows raised. “I said I was buying you breakfast, not a sundae.” He grabbed a fry from the plate FP left and dipped it in Mary’s ice cream. “Why do you guys all hate breakfast food?”

                “I was just in the mood for something sweet.” She held up a spoonful of ice cream to Fred’s mouth and fed it to him.

                “You want something sweet,” he said swallowing the ice cream and offering her a piece of bacon, “You order pancakes or a waffle. Not ice cream for breakfast.”

                She smiled, staring down at her bowl. “And here I thought you were going to throw me a line.”

                He reached around her neck, regretting it immediately when he thought of the greasy food he’d just touched with the same hand. (And to think FP always assured him he had legitimate game now.) He turned Mary’s face towards his own. “If you want something sweet, I’m right here.”

                “There it is,” she whispered. Fred closed his eyes and moved his lips closer to Mary’s.

                They hadn’t kissed since last summer, right before Hermione came back. They had went to prom together and spent nearly this whole summer inseparable. Mary wasn’t working since her parents insisting on her taking a break before going away to school. Fred worked days with FP at whatever construction site they were assigned to. Weekends and nights they split; FP to go off with little Gladys Cohen and Fred with his constant, Mary Taylor. They went to the movies, the lake, spent countless hours with her little brothers in the basement of the Taylor home, having their own Mortal Kombat II tournaments. The summer had been as close to perfect as Fred could hope for without the two of them actually dating.

                To top matters off, Hermione was gone. She had told Fred her family was doing the usual, staying at their timeshare in the Hamptons for a few weeks. But Hal (who’s mom was close with Hermione’s) had let it slip to him that the Nichols never went away this summer. That Hermione was in the doghouse with her parents after deciding against college and was actually spending the summer in Manhattan at the Lodge’s penthouse.

                Fred tried not to care, but a part of him was being eaten up inside. It’s not like he ever thought he’d marry Hermione. Hell, those few months of dating seemed like more than he could ever well hope for. But it stung, knowing she’d lied to him. Lied to Mary even, who always insisted she was the person Hermione trusted over everyone.

                “What’s going on?”

                Their lips met for an instant before a voice pulled them back to the real world. Back to their breakfast in the booth at Pops. Alice and Hal stood in front of their table. Alice with her hands on her hips, eyes darting suspiciously between them. Fred stifled a groan.

                Mary slinked down in her seat and stirred her melting ice cream. “Just having breakfast.”

                “May we?” Alice asked as she was already sitting down. Hal slid in next to her.

                “You guys weren’t waiting for anyone, were you?” he asked.

                Fred coughed. “No, FP just left.”

                Alice rolled her eyes. “With Lolita, no doubt.”

                “You _like_ Gladys,” Mary said. “You always talked to her when she was at the library. She didn’t do anything to you.”

                “Yes, but she’s dumb as a doornail if she thinks hanging around FP is a good idea. And mind you, she’d hardly been in all summer. Probably too busy –”

                “Are you two on a _date_?” Hal asked, clearly desperate to change the subject. 

                Fred opened his mouth to answer but Mary beat him to it. “Of course not. We’re just having breakfast.”

                “But you’re sitting so close –”

                “Don’t be silly, Hal,” Alice cut him off. “Mary knows better.”

                Mary let her spoon fall against her bowl. “Mary knows better than to _what_ , Alice?”

                “Than to go on a date with Fred. You two are just friends, _right_?”

                “Of _course_ we’re just friends. But you don’t need to constantly put down Fred just because he’s around me.”

                Alice pursed her lips, her eyes falling to look at Mary’s ice cream bowl. She smirked before opening her mouth again. “Ah, you’re on your period. I get it.”

                Mary’s face turned red. “What is your damage, Alice?”

                “Are you not on your period?”

                “What’s that have to do with anything?”

                “Because,” Alice placed her elbows on the table and leaned across, “if you have your period right now I know you’re not going to make any stupid decisions before you leave.”

                “And what stupid –”

                “Drop it, Alice,” Hal said, pulling her by the shoulders to sit her back down. Alice glared at him and the two locked eyes for a few moments. Alice finally broke the gaze with another roll of her eyes.

                “Fine,” she said simply, turning her attention back across the table. Fred nudged Mary’s side.

                “Gee, Mare. Don’t you wish we could communicate without words too?”

                “It’s a gift,” Hal said, putting his arm around Alice and pulling her into him. She smiled.

                “It takes years to master,” Alice said triumphantly.

                Fred mimicked Hal’s move and threw his arm around Mary, pulling her the few inches into him with a grunt. She stiffened under his touch. “Yeah, well, Mary and I have a connection like no other.”

                “Such as?”

                “Ah, I don’t have to explain anything to you guys.” Fred squeezed her shoulder and Mary squirmed. “We just understand each other.”

                “Well the fact that you can’t explain it speaks miles.”

                The waitress came by and dropped off a to-go bag in front of them.

                “Could you bring us plates actually?” Hal asked. “We’re going to stay.”

                “You know what?” Mary pulled herself out of Fred’s grasp and stood up. “I think I’m heading home.”

                Fred grabbed her hand before she could walk away. “I haven’t finished eating yet.”

                “You don’t have to come.”

                “But we were going to spend the day together. And you’re my ride.”

                “Your van is outside, Fred,” Hal said.

                “No, FP left with the van.” Hal pointed out the window. When Fred craned his neck he could still make out the van parked at the far end.

                “So great,” Mary pulled her hand out of Fred’s and grabbed her purse. “Get a ride with them after they’re done doing… whatever out there.” Fred tried to stand up and she pushed his shoulder down.

                “Mary…”

                She spoke in a soft voice. “Don’t Fred. Don’t follow me. Just… say bye.” She started walking towards the door. Alice reached up in her seat.

                “You need to come say bye to us before we go, Mary!” Alice yelled, turning a few heads. “We’re leaving Tuesday and we just got a kitten! You need to see her!”

                Mary let the door fall closed behind her without turning around. Fred pressed his nose up to the window and watched her pull out of the parking lot in her Beetle. A small part of him wished she had knocked on the back window of the van as she went by it.

                He turned on Alice. “What’d you do?”

                Alice glared at him. “Me? You’re the reason she left.”

                “We were totally fine until you showed up. You had to start going on about her,” he lowered his voice, “period and stuff. Why?”

                Alice looked over at Hal and nodded. “Were you guys on a date?” he asked.

                “What? No. I mean, sort of. We had plans to go to have breakfast, maybe walk down to Sweetwater River.”

                “So not a date?”

                Fred shrugged. “I guess not officially.”

                Hal sighed. “Yet here you start going on about this connection you and Mary have. But you don’t ask her out, don’t want to be her boyfriend. But you’ll fool around with her, tease her.”

                “We haven’t been fooling around.”

                “Not anymore,” Alice chimed in. “But that shit you pulled with her last summer? You think she forgot about that?”

                Fred looked up at the ceiling. “Yes?”

                Alice kicked him under the table. “Fred, Mary needs someone stable. Not some wavering airhead who makes all his decisions on the fly.”

                “I don’t – I _am_ stable. I’ve only been working this job a few months and the boss said he sees foreman material in me already.”

                “Mary has bigger dreams than that. She wants to go into law, be a judge one day. You think you can give her the life she wants?”

                “Really, Alice? The life she wants? If you knew her at all you’d know Mary is a self-sufficient kind of girl. She would never want anyone to provide for her. Like you said, she has big dreams.” He sighed and let his head fall back against the booth. “Bigger than me, I guess.”

                Alice’s voice was softer. “That’s the thing, Fred. I do know Mary. And I know you all too well. It’d just end in tears. Mary needs someone with ambition to match her own and you need… well, you need someone to keep you in line. Someone like a rich bitch princess maybe.”

                Hal scowled. “No way.”

                “Yes way!”

                Fred raised his head up. “What? Hermione? Been there, done that, lucky it didn’t end as nasty as it could have.”

                Alice hit the table. “Come on, Fred. We met this Lodge guy, and quite frankly he’s…” She turned to Hal for help.

                “Pompous?”

                “A dick. He’s kind of a dick.”

                “Wait.” Fred sat up straight. “Hermione’s back home?” Alice nodded. “I didn’t know that.”

                “He dropped her off on his way back to school,” Hal said. “Her parents had this big dinner party for the Business Owners of Riverdale last night and my parents made us go.”

                “He thinks he’s so worldly just because he’s been to Europe.” Alice rolled her eyes. “I’d like to see him last ten minutes in the Southside with that Rolex on.”

                “But you should probably just let her be, Fred. They seemed pretty seriously.”

                Alice nudged her boyfriend. “No, they’re not. He’s all the way in New Hampshire and she’s going to be here slinging overpriced perfume and costume jewelry. Get her, Fred.”

                He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I don’t think I want to walk that path again. I’d rather just try to salvage my friendship with her.”

                “Fred Andrews.” Alice’s voice rose. “She kissed Hiram when she was still your girlfriend and you took her back. Forgave her. Like an idiot. Go kiss her and get back at him right now.”

                “That’s… what?” Hal shook his head. “God, Fred. Don’t do that.”

                She turned on him. “And why shouldn’t he?”

                “Because this isn’t a matter of Mary or Hermione. It’s more a matter of the dating pool in this town being too small.”

                “Yeah, so small that some idiots have to resort to dating freshman because they’ve already tried to get in the panties of every girl their age.” Her eyes flickered out the window before meeting Fred’s again. “Hey, you think after prom Hermione and him –”

                “ _No_!” Fred exclaimed. “Don’t even put that image in my head, thanks.”

                She drummed her nails against the tabletop. “You should talk to him, Fred. He’s going to do something stupid and get himself in trouble.”

                Fred looked out the window too. The van was still there. “Just because they’re sitting in a parked car doesn’t mean anything. And she’s leaving in two days. Nothing’s going to happen to him in two days.”

                “Not just about her, Fred.” Alice dropped her voice. “The Serpents and all of that? Tell him it needs to stop.”

                “Tell him? You think he listens to me?”

                “He _only_ listens to you,” Hal said. “It’s just not going to surprise me when we come back for the summer and he’s in jail.”

                “Or worse,” Alice says.

                “Come on, guys. I don’t like this gang shit either but he’s not doing anything that bad. That illegal.”

                “ _That_ illegal,” Alice laughed. “I forgot we had a scale. I used to be that close to it where I couldn’t even see how stupid I was. And trust me, I only did it because my dad was making me, not because I wanted to. FP has good parents. He says he’s doing it for them, but like you said, construction pays well so why doesn’t he get out now when he can?”

                Fred sucked on his teeth. “What kind of friend would I be to tell him –”

                “A _good_ friend, that’s what. God know he didn’t want to hear it from me.”

                “Get going?” Hal asked her. “We never got our plates, might as well go eat back home like we planned.”

                Alice nodded. “Just let me go to the bathroom first.” Hal got up to let her out of the booth and sat back down.

                Fred let his head fall back down. “What do I do man?”

                “About?”

                “Everything. Mary?”

                He shook his head. “So that whole bit Alice said about her period was, well, Mary was going to ask you to take her virginity before she left for school. Alice has been trying to talk her out of it.”

                Fred swallowed. “Seriously?”

                “Don’t do it. Don’t bring it up. Just say goodbye and let her go to school.”

                “So Hermione?”

                “Oh God no. You and Hermione were… no. It’s like you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. You’d break Mary’s heart and Hermione would break yours.”

                “I wouldn’t break… ugh. So I’m doomed to face the rest of my life alone?”

                “Well, I guess FP will be single in a few days too so you won’t be entirely alone.”

                “Very funny.”

                Hal grabbed their to-go bag and stood up. “What the hell are you asking me for relationship advice anyway? Alice is the only girl I’ve ever dated, the only girl I’ve ever slept with. Hell, the last girl I kissed before her was during a game of spin-the-bottle in the 8th grade. Alice and I aren’t perfect and trust me, we don’t know what the hell we’re talking about half the time.”

                Fred looked him up and down. “Seriously? You’ve only ever slept with Alice?”

                “That’s all you got out of that?”

                “It’s just that she was gone for months. You were hanging around band practice all the time and there were so many girls there. You had opportunities.”

                Hal put his hand on Fred’s shoulder. “That’s it though. I knew I just wanted Alice back.”

                “Really?” Alice came up from behind him with a lopsided grin and hugged him. He kissed her on the top of the head.

                “You two are actually disgusting sometimes,” Fred said. He slid out of the booth. “Come on. I need a ride to Hermione’s.”

                Alice’s grin grew to a full face smile and she punched his arm. “That’s the spirt!”

 

 

                Their first time was the last day of junior year. Hermione’s parents were out of town and half of the upcoming senior class was going back to her place after the bonfire at Sweetwater River. Every time the two of them had touched for the past few weeks, whether a simple brush of the hand or a full on hug, Fred felt sparks and a dropping feeling in his stomach. At the bonfire, he made his move by pinning her up against a tree and kissing her. She moaned, “Fuck,” into his mouth.

                “What’s wrong?”

                She shook her head, raven locks flying every which way. “Everyone’s coming back to my place later. Put this on hold?”

                The party had been agony. Hermione had laid out bottles of her parent’s cheapest liquor (ones she claimed they wouldn’t miss) and Alice brought several bottles of a harsh Canadian whiskey that she bragged about stealing from her father. Hermione whispered, “No funny business until the party dies down,” in his ear, yet he still found himself on the couch with her perched in his lap (and her tongue halfway down his throat) soon after. It wasn’t until FP yelled, “Get a room!” that Hermione broke their kiss and yelled back, “It’s my house! I have my own room!” She jumped off of Fred and took him by the hand. She made a big show of pushing people out of the way and pretending to step on couples making out on the steps. He could still hear the catcalls as they walked down the nearly empty upstairs hall.

                Fred knew his face was flushed, but he couldn’t wipe the huge smile off his face.

                “Hermione, wait,” he said, grabbing her hand as she went to turn the doorknob of, what he assumed, was her bedroom. “What does this make us? Are we a couple?”

                She bit her lip. “Fred, I’m going away for most of the summer. You know that. Can’t we just enjoy tonight for what it is?”

                “But I don’t want this to just be tonight. I was this – us – to be something.”

                Hermione sighed. “Let’s enjoy the right now and save this conversation for pillow talk.”

                “Works for me.” He shoved her against the door with a thud and pressed another kiss to her mouth.

                “Occupied!” a voice yelled from inside the room. Hermione gasped against his mouth.

                “What the hell?” She pushed Fred away and practically kicked the door open. Alice sat on her knees on the large bed, buttoning up her blouse and Hal stood beside her, zipping up his jeans.

                “Don’t you know how to knock?” Alice yelled, jumping off the bed, shirt still open.

                Hermione covered her mouth with her hands. Fred did the same, but to hold his laughs in. “I am going to be sick. This is my room! What’s wrong with you two?”

                Alice continued buttoning up her shirt. “You don’t throw a party at your house and assume no one will sneak into the bedrooms.”

                “There are three other rooms on this floor! You _know_ this is my room.”

                “You have a canopy bed, Hermione. Can you blame us?”

                “Can you be sorry about anything? Ever?”

                Alice finished her top button and ran her fingers through her disheveled hair. “Come on, Hal. Lets walk home.”

                She pushed between Hermione and Fred, swinging her hair over her shoulder. Hal picked up both pairs of their shoes. He opened his mouth and Hermione held up a finger.

                “Don’t. Don’t say a fucking word.” She pushed past him and stared pulling blankets off her bed.

                Fred took his hand off his mouth and let out a silent laugh. He punched Hal’s shoulder and sent him a wink as he passed. Hal smirked and closed the door behind him.

                “Can you believe the nerve of them?” Hermione said, throwing pillows to the carpet. “I swear, she’s just mad at me because I –” Fred wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. “What’re you doing?”

                “What happened to enjoying tonight?”

                “Fred, this is my bed they –” He turned her around and planted his lips on hers, slowly lowering her to the bed.

                “Don’t let them ruin our night.”

                Hermione scooched herself to the middle of the bed and he followed. “Fine, but I swear I’m telling everyone about this later. Lets hurry.”

                He shook his head with a smile. “No way. I’m taking my time with you.”

 

 

                “Freddy?” Hermione opened the door, wide eyed. “What’re you doing here?”

                “I heard you were back.” He wiped his sneakers at her doormat absent mindedly. “Just wanted to come by, say hi. Is someone else here?”

                She shook her head. “No, no. Come in.” She stepped out of the way and he walked past her. “You want to come up to my room? I was just unpacking.”

                He followed her up the stairs, past the rows of pictures of Hermione and her sisters in matching outfits throughout the years, her parents at various parties. Most of the pictures in his own home were taken with his dad’s ancient Nikon and developed at the One Hour Photo booth in Greendale, not done in picture studios by professionals.

                “Sorry for the mess.” There were three large suitcases opened on the floor and various piles of clothing. She kicked closed the one that looked like it was filled with underclothes. She took a seat on the edge of her bed and patted the spot next to her. He sat carefully, folding his arms over his chest.

                “So how were the Hamptons?”

                Hermione opened and closed her mouth. She smiled warmly at him. “Okay, we both know I didn’t go to the Hamptons.”

                “You lied.”

                “I did. I just didn’t know how you were going to take it. Me spending the summer with Hiram.”

                Fred shrugged, running his fingers over her bedspread, trying not to think of all the fun he’d had in this room. “You don’t need to lie to spare my feelings. I’m a big boy.”

                “I know. I know you are. I just hate you being mad at me.”

                “I’m not.” He buried his face in his hands. “You’re with Hiram. I get that. Just respect me enough to be honest with me, yeah?”

                Hermione nodded slowly. “Yeah, I know that. I didn’t even mean to do it, it just came out.”

                “So how’re things with… him?”

                She shrugged. “It’s not that serious, Fred.”

                “Not that serious? You spent almost the entire summer with him.”

                “I know, I know. But it’s his last year of college, he has his thesis to work on, not a lot of time for me right now, you know?”

                He raised his head up. “He dump you?”

                “No, we just agreed to not rush things. Maybe not see each other until he has winter break and all.”

                “How’s that make you feel?”

                She shook her head. “I don’t know, Fred. I don’t think he’s trying to push me away. He really seems to like me, introduced me to his whole family, but it just feels like…”

                “Come on.” Fred took her hand and squeezed it. “He didn’t spend the entire summer with you just to dump you at the end. Any guy would be crazy not to like you.”

                Hermione rubbed her fingers over Fred’s knuckles. “Why are you here, Fred?” she asked softly.

                “I told you, I just wanted to say hi.”

                She coughed and dropped his hand. “What’d you do this summer?”

                “Started working construction.”

                “I can see.” She pinched his bicep. “If you were wearing one of your own t-shirts and not FP’s, I bet it’d be bursting at the seams.”

                He glanced down and noticed he was wearing a Slayer shirt. He rolled his eyes. “I swear the guy leaves half his stuff at my place on purpose. It’s going to be so much easier when we get an apartment together.”

                “Apartment together?” She laughed. “That’s a sitcom waiting to happen. What else you do?”

                “Well, FP’s always off with his new girlfriend, so I spent a lot of time with Mary.”

                “Mary.” She placed her hand on his knee and gave it a squeeze. “Mary’s leaving soon too, I guess.”

                “Yeah, couple of days.”

                “You two have a good time?”

                “The best.” He sighed. “I always have a really good time with Mary. Things are just… they’re just easy with her. They make sense.”

                “I never made things very easy for you, did I? I liked to keep you on your toes.”

                “That you did.” He put his hand on top of hers. “Friends?”

                “Of course. Friends.”

 

                The first time he ever kissed Mary hadn’t been all fireworks and tickertape parades. It had been sometime freshman year, maybe around February or March. He needed help with some homework – algebra, biology, world history, he typically needed help with a lot of his homework – and Mary had come to the rescue. They sat at his kitchen table where his mom had left out sandwiches for them before leaving to show a house.

                Mary poured over text books, explaining details to him and ensuring he was taking proper notes. She didn’t come over just to spend time with him, he knew. She came over because she actually wanted Fred to understand the course work.

                Alice assured him several times if Mary actually _did_ like him, she would just do his homework for him and spend the rest of their alone time making out. And Alice spent a lot more time with Mary than he did, so he supposed he should just listen to her. But every time he saw that smug look cross Alice’s face when she knew she was right, hell, it just made him want to do the opposite of whatever she said.

                “Did you get that, Fred?” Mary asked, poking his shoulder with a pencil.

                He looked up from his chicken scratch notes to Mary. She raised an eyebrow at him and, before he had a chance to think what he was doing, he leaned in and kissed her.

                She didn’t pull away. Instead she pressed back lightly against him. When they broke apart a few seconds later, Fred felt heat in both his cheeks. Mary bit her lip as a nice blush crossed hers too.

                In unison, they broke into hysterics.

                When they finished laughing minutes later, Mary wiped a few tears from her eyes.

                “Should we get back to it? Homework, I mean.”

                Mary’s mom picked her up an hour later, before they had a chance to discuss anything else besides whatever Mary was trying to teach him that week.

 _Tomorrow_ , he thought. _I’ll talk to her about the kiss tomorrow_.

                The next morning, Alice shoved him from behind when he was leaning over his locker, fiddling with the padlock. The nurse sent him home with a huge bump on his head and he decided maybe it was best to just let that kiss be what it was. Just a kiss.

               

 

                “Wakey, wakey.” Fred woke up to someone lightly slapping his face on Monday morning. He swatted the hand away and rolled over in bed.

                “No, no, no, Freddy,” FP said. “We got a big day ahead of us.”

                Fred opened one eye and looked at his best friend, sitting next to him in his bed.

                “How’d you get in here?”

                “Your mom let me in.”

                Fred groaned. “We don’t have work for two hours. What the hell do you want?”

                FP bounced up and down, making his mattress squeak. “Mary’s leaving today. You need to go say bye to her.”

                “No man.” He started rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “It’s only Monday. She’s not leaving until the end of the week.”

                “Yeah, well she called me yesterday and told me she’s leaving this morning, so come on. Lets get a move on it.”

                Fred sat up. “She called you and not me?”

                “She mad at you?”

                “Maybe.” Fred threw his blanket off and grabbed the first pair of jeans he found on the floor.

                “How about a shower first?” FP asked as Fred stepped into his pants.

                “Do I have time?”

                “Good God, man. _Yes_ , there’s always time for a fucking shower. Get yourself cleaned up. I’ll be having a smoke by the van.”

                Fifteen minutes later, they were driving through the outskirts of Riverdale, along the edge of Evergreen Forest, eating breakfast sandwiches Fred’s mom had shoved into their hands as they walked out the door.

                “Gladys leave yet?” Fred asked.

                FP shook his head. “Later today. We said our goodbyes last night.”

                Fred glanced in the back of the van quickly. “How were the… goodbyes?”

                “Shut the hell up.” FP punched his shoulder with the hand that was holding his sandwich. “It wasn’t like that.”

                “No?”

                “Damn, Freddy. She’s a kid with a crush. I liked her and all, but… I couldn’t do that to her. With her. She doesn’t know what she wants yet.”

                “You lost your virginity when you were 15.”

                “Yeah, well I’m almost 19 and I still don’t know what the hell I want.”

                They set into a comfortable silence as they finished their sandwiches and drove down the last road that led to Mary’s. Fred waited until her driveway was in sight.

                “You going to say bye to Alice?”

                “No,” FP answered without hesitation. “We said our goodbyes.”

                “You haven’t talked to her since June.”

                “And we said goodbye then and we don’t need to say it again.” FP put the car in park. “Honestly, I don’t care. Alice wants to run off to la la land with Coop, by all means, let her. Won’t last.”

                “You’re going to throw away a lifetime of friendship over –”

                “Watch it, Fred.”

                “Over nothing?”

                FP shook his head. “Alice knows what she wants. She wants away from the Southside and that’s exactly what she’s getting.”

                “So she can’t leave the Southside and still be friends with you?”

                “Look, the real victim in all this is Hal. If I told him once I told him a thousand times – he knew she was a snake when he picked her up. When she ditches him in Boston and runs off with the next guy with some money in his pocket, who’s going to be surprised?”

                “Shit, man. Alice isn’t that kind of person. I just want you two to be friends again.”

                “ _Fred_. It’s 7 am on a Monday. We have work in an hour. My girlfriend is moving to fucking Toledo. I’m tired. And to top it all off, my best friend is trying to convince me to talk to someone I’m not even friends with anymore instead of saying good bye to the girl of his dreams who’s standing right there. _Get out_.”

                Fred turned to face the Taylor house. Mary was standing on the porch with a laundry basket balanced on her hip, head tilted in confusion. She gave him a small wave with her free hand.

                He pulled the door open. “My bike is still here from the other day. I’ll just see you at work.” He slammed the door behind him and mouthed, “Bye!” as FP pulled away.

                Mary had made it to her car. Her tiny VW Beetle was packed to the brim. She placed the laundry basket on the roof and turned to him.

                “I wasn’t leaving without saying goodbye. I was going to stop and see you at work on my way out.”

                He kicked at the dirt under his feet. “You should have called.”

                She nodded. “Probably, but I was still a little ticked from Saturday.”

                “At me or at Alice?”

                “Both?” She let out a laugh. “I’m over it Fred. I’m too old to get mad at Alice’s snark or your shameless flirting. Water under the bridge.”

                He took her hands in his. “Mary, I don’t shamelessly flirt with anyone. I’m completely ashamed of my flirting.”

                Mary bit her lip. “I love how you can always make me laugh, even when I’m pissed at you.”

                “I love how you always forgive me when I pull stupid shit.”

                “I love how you showed up here first thing in the morning with wet hair and wearing a shirt that’s actually your own.”

                “I, uh… I love how we’re the same height when you wear heels.” He looked down at her Converses and clicked his teeth.

                “Damn.” She wrinkled her nose. “I only ever wear heels to make you feel inferior. You ruin it when you tell me you like it.”

                “God, Mary.” He felt her squeeze his hands. “I’m going to miss you. I mean, I knew I was going to miss you before, but seeing your car all packed and realizing this is it. I guess it didn’t really hit me until just now.”

                “No more Mary in your back pocket.”

                “You were never in my back pocket. You were in my shirt pocket, always looking over me with a watchful eye.”

                “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Fred.” She pulled her hands out of his and leaned back against her car, arms folding over her chest. “So, I suppose Alice told you my bad idea?”

                “It may have come up.”

                “I wasn’t _really_ going to ask you to take my virginity.” She shook her head and looked off into the forest. “It was just a thought. Not to go to college feeling like the word virgin is tattooed across my forehead…”

                Fred shifted his weight between his two feet. “Who’s going to care if you’re a virgin? No one’s even going to know if you don’t tell them.”

                “I just assumed losing my virginity would give me this boost of confidence, you know?” Mary let out a laugh. “My own fault for telling Alice. She can’t keep anything to herself. She nearly fainted when I said I thought about asking you.”

                “Oh course she did. She hates us together.”

                “She thinks she’s protecting me.” She covered her hands with her face and started giggling. “So much so that she offered to let me sleep with Hal if I really needed to. With the stipulation that she got to watch, of course.”

                Fred joined her laugh. “Oh, that would be _way_ less awkward than us together at least.” He took her hands again when their laughter died down. “I learned not to take any relationship advice from them. How can you trust two people who’ve only ever been with each other?”

                Mary tilted her head. “They’ve lasted this long. They must be doing something right.”

                “Mary. Why _isn’t_ it us? Why didn’t we pick up things again? What was stopping us?”

                “I’m leaving, Freddy. We can’t very well start something we can’t finish.”

                “Start, finish. That’s not how relationships work.”

                “I didn’t want another summer basement fling. I can’t do a ‘Fred’s in Riverdale, Mary’s in Chicago, anything is free game.’ If anything ever happened between us, I need it to be real. If we were together, we need to actually _be_ together.”

                Fred smirked. “Are you asking me to move to Chicago with you?”

                “Be serious. I like you Fred. I care about you so much. But I won’t start something with you again that isn’t going to lead anywhere. Okay?”

                “Okay.” He tugged her hands so she was forced to come away from the car. “Friends though?”

                “We’ll always be friends. Just make sure you keep in touch when I’m away.”

                “I’ll write you every day.”

                “I’ll send you postcards from every corny tourist spot.”

                “And I’ll plaster my walls with them until I have a mural of Chicago in my room. A mural of Mary.”

                He let go of her hands and pulled her into a hug. They stood there a few minutes, quietly holding on to each other.

                _Fireworks are lust_ , Fred thought. _Being in blissful silence and feeling this content must be the real deal._

                She kept her hands around his neck and he kept his hands at her waist.

                “I’d offer you a ride to work, but…” She trailed off as she nodded her head to the full car. Even the front seat was full.

                “It’s okay. I left my bike here the other day. I’ll take it to work.”

                She planted a quick kiss on his cheek. “Don’t be a stranger, Freddy.” She let go of him.

                “Likewise. I’ll be waiting for my postcards.”

                He grabbed his bike off the lawn and tossed his leg over it. He pedaled to the end of the driveway before turning around to wave. Mary was already running after him. He hit the brakes hard.

                “Mary, what is –”

                She grabbed his face and cut him off with a kiss. With him sitting on the bike, she was a few inches taller, so she had to lean down. Fred snaked his hands around her back and pulled him into her.

                She smiled against his lips as they both opened their eyes, him still with his face cradled in her hands. She pressed her nose against his.

                “I will see you at Christmas,” she said softly. Mary let go of him and took a step back. He ran his fingers through his drying hair.

                “Christmas, yes.” He nodded, still at a loss for words. “That will be… yes. Christmas.”

                She took a step backwards up the driveway, smile still on her face. “Bye Freddy.”

                “Bye… Mare. Christmas?”

                She nodded. “Christmas.”

                He pedaled the rest of the way down her street, unable to wipe the grin off his face. The Shaggin Wagon was parked down at the end.

                FP leaned against the outside with a cigarette between his lips. “That was quick,” he said opening the backdoor so Fred could toss his bike in.

                He was still smiling. “Mary and I just understand each other. There wasn’t a super lot left to say.”

                 “I’m sure there wasn’t. You might want to wipe that lipgloss off, by the way.” FP winked at him.

                Fred wiped his lips on the inside of his t-shirt and climbed in as FP stomped out his cigarette. “You didn’t have to wait for me.”

                “You and those chicken legs of yours biking all the way to work? It’d take you all day. It’s just the two of us now. Got to look out for each other.”

                “Hermione’s still in town.”

                “For now.”

                “For now.” Fred nodded. “Hey, maybe we could stick up some flyers in Pops looking for new band members?”

                FP put the car into drive and glanced sideways at Fred. “You sure? I thought there was no time for the band anymore.”

                “Hey, we got no girlfriends. We have to fill the void with something.”

                “Just me and you and Riverdale, Freddy.”

                “Me and you and Riverdale, man.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although this is over, I am definitely not stopping my Riverparents fics. Currently working on a piece of post-college Mary and Fred that I hope to finish soon.

**Author's Note:**

> I feed on validation from people on the internet, so please let me know what you think!


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